Yeah, about that last post…
Lincoln Adams | July 6, 2007 @ 1:13 amI was kinda in a really bad mood. 
I do have moments like that (more than I’d care to admit), but after I calm down, a kind of melancholy then sets in. I really don’t want to be this angry with Him, but it’s hard trying to make some sense out of the events of the last few years, and since I’m the kind of guy who wears his heart on his sleeve, every bad thing that happens in life tends to cut me deeply.
There are times though when I suspect that I’m personally the butt of some sick, heavenly joke. I’d pray I meet someone at work for example who could be “the one” for me, and when I do meet that person, she ends up rejecting me and marrying another co-worker. If the answer to a prayer has to be no, fine, but why rub it in my face? Why humiliate me like that?
And that’s what life seems to be like these days: a series of prayers that not only go unanswered or rejected, but also seem to require some form of divine punishment for even daring to make them. Why?
It’s a simple question, but one that I don’t think will ever be answered.
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Tags: abandoned, bad mood, blush, co worker, forsaken, God, hate, hated, heart, humiliation, joke, melancholy, prayer, prayers, unanswered, unloved, unwanted
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
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6 Responses to “Yeah, about that last post…”
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Have you noticed the train wreck of a planet we live on since Eve, Adam, and that darned piece of fruit? I personally think we should be pleasantly surprised that God has made it as wonderful as it is. A better attitude than “why does this stink for me and not everyone else.” Trust me, there are lots of married people who have found “love” who are absolutely miserable. Maybe God is protecting you from one of those marriages.
Have you noticed, too, that there are lots of “ifs” in God’s word? Stipulations, that nobody seems to talk about. If you abide in me…or James 5:16c ..the effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.
Now I’m not saying you are not most righteous, I have no idea, but when I feel like my prayers are falling on deaf ears, it’s my que to do some soul searching.
Oh, and I’m noticing lately that the prayers I’ve seen answered are answered way, way later than I expect, when I least expect it….not sure what to make of that.
We rented Bruce Almighty the other day, have you seen that one? Your “last post” reminded me of the beginning of that one.
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Maybe it’s time to reconsider your belief in god?
In your previous post you said, “…here I am, still stuck in first gear, partly because I was stupid enough to believe God had something better prepared for me, and that I need only be patient enough to wait for it.”
How would your “wasted” two years have been different if you hadn’t had your hopes hung on god having something better prepared for you?
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@jjjen: I saw Bruce Almighty, but considering at one point he had used divine powers to have a “pleasurable” experience, I’m not too keen on using it as a prime example for issues on faith.
@Adam: Ironically enough I don’t think it would have been that much different. There’s still that matter of finding myself.
Just because God doesn’t do what I want Him to do, when I want it would hardly seem like a good reason to deny His existence. To me it’s not a question of Him being real so much as it is being able to believe that He cares.
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Fair enough.
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…of course He cares, but he’s got to put everything into place perfectly in a very complicated situation. Probably knowing the future and every possibility of the future of everything he considers doing it gets even more complicated. I guess what I’m saying is of course He cares, but your timing and terms aren’t perfect, and His are.
Ok, the Bruce Almighty, how I see it is several writers, at least one who “gets it” and the rest who are pure Hollywood. The one who gets it slips what he can into the movie.
I think his attitude at the beginning, blaming God, and God responding with “your ways are not my ways, you have no idea” is a pretty Biblical concept.
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@jjjen: About timing and terms, this is true. Regarding Bruce Almighty, there might be a legitimate message about faith, but it gets lost in the Hollywood antics. Personally I suspect It’s A Wonderful Life would trump anything Tinseltown comes up with these days.
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