Woman = Catty, Rude, Useless, Lying, Unconstant, Succubus From Hell

Lincoln Adams | October 8, 2008 @ 4:22 pm

It never ends, and it seems like no matter what and no matter who, women always manage to do those womenly things that piss me right the hell off and makes me want to join some kind of backwards religion that keeps women locked up in chains or some damned thing in order to prevent them from screwing up the world with their evil woman-ness.

But when I touched bases with a female blogger who seemed to acknowledge that women were inherently evil and worthy of endless flogging, I thought, “Finally, someone who gets me and understands my frustration with this abominable creation of nature that is woman.”  After trading a few emails, I ended up helping her monetize her blog with some degree of success (to the tune of a few hundred extra greens a month.)  Why?  Because I am if nothing else, an awesomely nice, studly guy.  :shades:

And then I never hear from her again.  I send several more emails.  Nothing.   Months go by.  Promises made by her are unabashedly broken.  I do her a favor, and in return I get plugged up the bonky boons.  Yep, typical woman engaging in typical womanly behavior, only one who admittedly recognized the cattiness and evilness of her gender, and then goes and does the very kind of thing that makes her kind so repugnant and worthy of dropping into a vat of boiling acid to begin with.

Ah well, lesson learned.  I will never befriend or help any kind of woman ever again no matter how decent, charming, or sweet she might be.  You are all the work of the devil and shall now and forever always be treated as such.  Burn in hell, you filthy terrorists of Satan!!!

(Now if you’ll excuse me, my Mommy needs me to pick up some groceries for her…)


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13 Responses to “Woman = Catty, Rude, Useless, Lying, Unconstant, Succubus From Hell”

leoncaruthers wrote a comment on October 8, 2008 @ 10:54:pm
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I have a rule: unless I’m getting some, I’m not moving any furniture. I hefted a few couches before I set that rule, and it never did me any good. Some women flirt to get men to do things for them, and some men lie to get laid. Don’t be that guy, and don’t cater to those women. If you’re doing anyone a favor, do it without expectation or don’t do it at all.

And they don’t all serve Satan. Just a lot of them ;)

Claudia wrote a comment on October 8, 2008 @ 11:19:pm
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Ahhhh, now it’s all clear. Why you’re still single. By the way, my site could use some tweeking. Maybe you could help??

Nova wrote a comment on October 9, 2008 @ 01:19:am
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who are you? Don’t you know men are evil as well? Yes, it’s true! We’re all damned. And so forth. Also, you sound old..yet sometimes I get the impression you’re young. Which the heck is it?

Casey wrote a comment on October 9, 2008 @ 09:04:am
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He’s an immature old man. Move along…nothing to see here.

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on October 9, 2008 @ 10:39:am
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@Nova: I am all things to all people. :ggrin:

@Claudia: Sure, I’d be happy to hel… GAAAAAHHHH I did it again!! :wall:

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on October 9, 2008 @ 10:40:am
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Casey’s the old one by the way. :D

beej wrote a comment on October 9, 2008 @ 12:25:pm
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Golly! If you helped my website make an “few hundred extra greens a month.” I’d surely fly over to NYC and take your ass out to dinner at the very least!

Er… maybe I couldn’t afford to do that much… but I surely would try send a buck or two back to you as a thank you… or a gift card :)

beej wrote a comment on October 9, 2008 @ 12:26:pm
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PS - Add me to your list, along with Claudia, over there :D
…soon as I get my a$$ in gear and get my blog back up and running again!

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on October 9, 2008 @ 01:31:pm
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I would have taken a gift card. :ggrin:

Lauren wrote a comment on October 10, 2008 @ 11:22:am
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When you stop doing expecting that things will be returned in your favor you’ll get the woman of your dreams. Stop by my blog. I think we’re neighbors BTW and it’d be nice to know I have a friendly neighbor in the sea of Obomination…minus the untimely woman-hating that is.

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on October 10, 2008 @ 12:00:pm
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I think everything I post is untimely. :D

Lauren wrote a comment on October 10, 2008 @ 12:10:pm
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HAHA! I added you to my daily blog roll. Word of warning…I have a lot of female readers so you better buck up on the hating. :-)

Funny that you only commented on my fun post attached to Carrie’s fiesta today…which I forgot to add a link to. Oops. Hope you’ll check out my political posts too.

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on October 10, 2008 @ 12:27:pm
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@Lauren: I’ll try to keep the venom-spewing misogyny to a minimum. Thanks for the link love!
:awe:

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