Only a few days left before I dropkick my eHarmony subscription in the face, and already I’m ready to take a vow of celibacy and join Al Bundy’s activist group NO MA’AM.
I get matched to a few lawyers, mental health professionals and other women working in full time careers that keep them ridiculously busy, but still I sent them all communication requests, since they seemed to pretty much have it together and were cute. You think I get a response? Of course not. They haven’t closed the match though, they’re just too busy to do much of anything, see.
And right away I know what they really want. They don’t want a relationship. What they DO want is a weekend boy toy, somebody to fill in those gaps of what little free time they have left over after working their jobs, a secondhand cuddle toy that they can squeeze like a Tickle Me Elmo doll for a few minutes before running right back to work or other commitments, leaving me in the lurch to twiddle my thumbs and wait until they’re finally free to hang out again.
I’ve seen this attitude before, women who would tell me they’ll be right back on IM and then disappear for a day, two days, a week, 2 weeks, before finally popping up again, no apology, no explanation, totally oblivious to their bad manners. What really chaps my Calvin Kleins about it all is that when you call them out on it, they accuse you of being a sissy boy who can’t handle being alone for more than 30 seconds, and real men wouldn’t be so clingy and if I can’t handle it then I don’t deserve them, blah blah blah. They exhaust every excuse to justify their rudeness, honestly believing that I am to sit down, shut up and wait patiently until they’re ready to finally bestow me with the greatness of their presence once again. For a few minutes that is.
It explains the attraction to aloof guys, and the amusing logical result of it when they wring their hands trying to figure out why such a guy doesn’t yearn for them and was so easily able to dump them like bad coffee, having already moved on to his next conquest.
And here’s the thing: if you don’t have 2 minutes of free time to reply to a request to communicate on eHarmony, just how much free time are you going to have for a real relationship? And I’m sorry, I am not going to be anybody’s weekend boyfriend, so if that’s your angle, you can go suck the ass of a moose. That’s not how I roll.
And before people start whining about how men do this all the time to women, I’m not excusing that either. It’s wrong when either side does it, and if it’s wrong when men do it, why would it be ok when women do it too? If you have a busy job, but you want a relationship and someone special in your life but you ain’t got the time, then MAKE time. Simple as that. You want it bad enough, you’ll find a way. I sacrifice my time to be with someone I care about, why can’t you? You say I’m too clingy? *bleep* you.
So women want a guy who is secure and happy without the need for girlie wubs, and therefore not clingy or piney or whatever the hell it is that offends you women so much that we would have the audacity to yearn for your presence. Since that’s the case, where would you expect to find such a secure-without-a-woman dude willing to put up with your mind bending neurosis? Uranus??
So how ’bout this then, I cling to my money and a single life free of your mind games and bull donkey turd, and you can cling to your precious careers and your never-ending search for one-sided wubs. See which one of us will end up happier, biznatches.
I leave you now with this Youtube vid that exemplifies for all time why women these days are just not worth the trouble anymore.
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Online dating is a joke I gave it a whirl once and used an obscure picture of Laird Hamilton (so not to look obvious) as my profile pic and still nothing wtf so at that point i gave up, i had better luck with cast on my leg, then again that is what ted bundy did then the puppy works good, but what works best is just being a smart ass and asking the hot chick to fix you up with the fat friend then again never overlook the good ole throw back the single mom you can always go to that well.
If you really loved us, you’d be willing to wait around for whatever leftover scraps of time we’re able to throw your way. If you really loved us, you’d understand that our careers are important to us and take up time which we’d rather spend with you, of course. Should we have to give up one dream in order to fulfill another? Or could you maybe pull the stick out of your bum and take a chill pill? Call you on my lunchbreak, snuggles! Oh and I’m gonna be a little late for dinner tonight…….
Man, you nailed it.
@Igoda: Again you’re gonna be late? But I made lasagna tonight, you ungrateful cold hearted &@#%^$&…
@Mark: Just speaking truth to power my brutha. :-D
We live in a time that most people are jilted … it’s a fend fo’yo’self kind of world. No reason to be ornery about it. There are so many hookers/strippers in the world (both male and female) that the ideal is diluted. And those who don’t have a ‘hottie’ on their arm want one; strangers are just that- strange. I feel for the person that made that video… seems like he’s asked the same question too many times and to the wrong (dare I say) ladies .
But who am I anyway? I’m the one that would laugh (and has) when a guy said ‘but I have money!’ [There is a polite way to say 'thanks but no thanks' ]… Money doesn’t buy the chemistry two people need to have any kind of friendship, much less, a lasting relationship. And I would figure out a way to let the aggressive ‘onlooker’ know, (in a nice way) -don’t touch-keep steppin’… for what ever reason there could be (or not be able to go out with someone); don’t get your spoiled on me. You can’t always get what you want without eventual disappointment … some things/people are better left on the shelf. And hurt lasts a long-long time; people don’t generally wear shirts that say their ‘damaged’ but it takes being a friend and a bunch of understanding. Sometimes, it’s all for nothing.
I think, it’s why having faith is such a big deal; And it’s not hardly as messy (or potentially hazardous)
Trust… the ‘career oriented’ friend of any gender is worthy of a drop kick (to give them their space); because they tend to walk right over the feelings of anyone- or get soooo wrapped up in ‘butt kissing’ their way to the top they get stuck on their own pedestal looking down at you [with everyone else]. And many times what one thinks is a friendship was nothing but that kind of person using another as a stepping stone or a ‘connection’ of sorts … They make movies out of this stuff don’t they? … Yes, one was on the other week, the 1987 flick ‘Can’t buy me love’ [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092718/]; truly, a story of how shallow people can be.
Maybe you should take the lasagna to the office? … like a (once a month) team dinner wouldn’t be a perfect opportunity to have that late evening at the office.
lol, your I’m glad I found this blog, some really funny but good poopie on here.
Thanks for the compliment! :-D
No problem; Thanks for making lasagna!
Your keepers.
Glad to be here.
It’s a sad thing that people are this way. I’ve seen both sexes do it. Online just seriously has ruined what dating is suppose to be unfortunately. People have just become so selfish, self absorbed and just down right rude. I ask myself why I even have any of my profiles still around. It’s a joke. I’m thinking of giving up the whole online dating thing and just start looking at doing volunteer work in things I’m interested in – that might be a much better way to meet some new people. Hang in there cutie.
@MG: That’s funny because that’s precisely my feeling now too. I’m looking to see what volunteer organizations would best suit me since I don’t want to be doing this just to find wubsies, but because I enjoy the charity work too. Maybe working the phones at a support hotline for distraught girls going through bad breakups? ;)
In all seriousness, I just chatted with a woman the other night just as frustrated with online dating as me, who works in a VERY busy career that sees her traveling working long hours, and sometimes not even getting weekends off, and she told me despite all that she always has time to respond to an email or call. And she gets the same reaction from men too, who take forever to get back to her or just blow her off completely, even though the initial contact went quite well.
What disturbs me is not that women do this to me, but that they seem to do it to everyone. They’ve lost that yearning somehow, where they don’t want someone to be a part of their lives, but to merely fill in the gaps of their free time. I’m sick and tired of women like that. Really I’m about done with this. I’m resigning myself to the fact that this world totally sucks the crapstick, and I would be better off counting my blessings and the fact that I get to keep all my monies than see it go off to paying alimony or child support.
A support hotline for that sounds good. Well if you are working the phones, I’d probably forget the reason for my call. ;-)
You are right though, it’s too bad about the whole thing. Especially when there are some really, really nice people out there like you in the mix of everyone else who is so bad. Well maybe we should make a pact. Say in x amount of years, if you or I don’t find true wuv out there, you and I can set a date! lol
Perhaps even sooner than that. If I ever drive through Arizona via one of my future vacation tours, maybe I can stop over and you can show me what Arizona skies really look like.
Linc, it’s not her career. She’s just not that into you. Career is a non-insulting, legitimate excuse to blow you off in a nice way. If she’s into you she WILL find the time.
I call BS on this. I know you’re just looking to defend your whorish colleagues, and I can accept that she’s just not into me, but what if she’s not into ANYBODY? Years and years of dating and she can’t find one person to invest more than a smidgen of her time with? Really?
Maybe it’s my location, being in a city filled with career-minded women who seem to have this soft bigotry and disdain for men, partly because they can’t turn off their innate desire for one any more than we can for women, and it poisons their personality. That’s certainly been my observation.
Of course the upside is that such uppity harlots of Babylon are doing me a favor by blowing me off. Instead of spending monies on her, it’s mo’ money fo’ me to spend on toys and things that actually have value! :-D
my whorish collegues? you hope they rot in hell? I am just wondering where your Christian attitude is ’cause it sounds like you hate women and maybe, just maybe, that shines through and no one wants to date a bitter, hateful man. Jesus would never utter these words. You need to calm down and try to cherish women and not talk about them, and have an attitude toward them like Muslims do. Why are you trying to date career women if they repulse you so? Try some kind hearted little waitress, or receptionist, or teacher or a single mom who did commit to someone but one of your whorish collegues cheated on her and dumped her.
I’d love to cherish women, that is if they had anything worthy cherishing, which they mostly don’t.
I’m not trying to date career-oriented women by the way, I either get matched to them on eHarmony, or I get approached by them elsewhere.
I don’t wish hell on them either, but I do wish they would get over themselves.
if you hate women so much and find so little value in them, why do you want one?
Because I was unfortunately born that way. I’d have to knock off Happy and Slappy just so I can get rid of the desire for feminine wubsie woos.
Linc, the internet for dating is a WASTELAND! Please consider trying something else so you can 1) match yourself with someone and not rely on a computer 2) avoid women who wear suits and heels, and 3) have real human interaction and not sit expectantly checking your “inbox” 12 times a day. You might consider looking at a woman who might be a little overweight, have frizzy hair, or any other “flaw” that might make you pass her by. You have flaws too, and you can’t just seek out the Barbie doll. You will pass too many sweet, kind-hearted, funny, and caring women up who might not turn heads on the street.
Weight is not a issue for me, although I agree with your assessment otherwise. The problem is I’m hearing impaired and simply communicate better on the Internet. In real life it’s difficult, at least until I get past that initial contact if I can even get that far. There’s a stigma associated with disabilities, and what makes the internet so attractive is that I don’t have to fight that and find myself being defined solely by my disability. The person has a chance to know me first before making a snap judgment about me based on my deafness and nothing else. Ah well.
I’m just saying, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. It may SEEM easier to use the internet but it’s really gotten you nowhere in the long run. I don’t pretend to understand how difficult it must be for you, being hearing impaired and trying to communicate. (hell I’m frustrated having to scream at someone in a bar. I can’t imagine going through everyday life like that!) But the internet is just not working. Please, just try to find it in your heart to believe that there are so many good, kind women out there, wondering where all the good guys are too. Publicly proclaiming your hate for women and denigrating them like dogmeat is offensive by anyone’s standards, and unbecoming to the person you profess to be.
You’re not wrong, though keep in mind I save my darkest, brooding emotions on my blog sometimes, sort of like a private therapy session, only the whole world gets to read it, lol.
Linc now that sounds nice actually. We could do Arizona right baby. I’ll show you everything. ;-) If you come out this way, drop me a line.
Kristin, He’s just venting. It’s a blog. People do that on a blog. You should see all the stuff I go off about on mine which include MANY of the same fustrations of the online dating world too. He’s gentle compared to me. lol
I really hope I can visit the west someday soon too. 2010 might be a banner year for me in terms of traveling, but I’d rather drive than fly. I’ll have to do the later if I want to visit California, Arizona, Yosemite and the like. I can’t wait. Maybe I’ll bring a stone too so you can learn how to make brick oven style pizzas at home. :-D
Wait a minute, I said,
I’m talkin’ about
You must be the Amen corner?
Got that right.
AMEN!!!!
Way to respond! Now get out there and have a great vacation. And one pic at least of you enjoying the real world. The real women will love you as you are.
feel your pain man
@Seadragon: Thanks dude!
Disclaimer: I’m new/ bad at this, so heres my best.
Don’t give up. I spent alot of my life not trying. Once you start, it hard to get out of that hole. Cant really say much beyond that, because I havent gotten there myself, but i thought I’ d give what help I could.
@SeaDragon: That’s fine, it’s much appreciated too. Whether I try or not, I guess I just have to believe she’s out there and that someday soon God will bring her to me. Poor thing. :-D
You can do it… trust in yourself and not how easy it is to find some hussy that want’s everything.
All the best.
I’m a career woman. I’d love NOTHING BETTER than to have a 9am-3pm day (rather than the “squeeze” from employers to do the inhuman workload. So, in addition to having financial self sufficiency, I could have balance, be with my child more than 2 hours per day, spend time with my significant other, be involved civically. You think most employers care? If you have the time, why not lobby for mandatory family-friendly work schedules? Or think of another solution and work on it. I’m sure MEN would also love to have some middle-ground option, rather than either rat race or complete dependence of a “bread winner.”
This surprises you? WHere the **** have you [OP] been? Did you not grow up dating women regularly and now you’re all in shock about online dating? Get a life, stop being a needy douche. Be a man. (Yes, I said it, and yes, it’s true.)
I am a woman and I agree. It’s wrong when either gender acts like this. Anyone who thinks its better to devote their best energy to a soulless corporation rather than a human being, deserves what they get: their career, and what they don’t get: a relationship.
That’s it exactly. Thanks for understanding my point, that’s not about eviscerating women for following career dreams. :-)
career women want to be independent of everything, even air until they are reminded of their mortality and chill a little. Men need to step up and learn to deal with out of hand women and not back down as well. I go to school in an Interior design school as just about the only straight guy. I feel for anyone dealing with worse. Simply put, I don’t care anymore. I have recognized the usual programming, the tools of manipulation, the agenda of the offended woman is….
Shame—– If you cant
Blame —– if you cant
Maim —- Repeat until desired effects occur or cry and freak out.
Also for the record, I just wanted to say… boobs…
LOL
That’s really it though, this obsession to prove women don’t NEED men, to the point that they become narcissistic and filled with hatred, because deep down, the void of not having a decent man in their lives still exists.
In my case while I wouldn’t say I NEED women, I can definitely feel the absence of one in my own life. But I don’t think women who care only about their careers feel the same way about men, and it shows. We’re not their potential allies and partners, we’re their enemies, because to be with a man is to concede that you cannot truly be independent after all. Sad. Depending on a woman for guidance, intimacy and comfort doesn’t make me any less a man than her depending on me for the same would make her any less a woman. But it doesn’t seem like many women understand that. Ah well.
I was going to write a long comment about this… But I have to get back to work.
It would be nice to not need money to survive. Then I could be the best most attentive female in the world.
What a life goal.
xx
I think you missed the point… entirely.
This isn’t a question about offering 24 hours of attention 7 days a week, but about priority. As in, a career takes precedent over a relationship.
Is that in itself wrong? Well let me ask you this: what if hypothetically, your husband told you his career was more important to him than his marriage, and if he wasn’t giving you the attention or affection you needed, well too bad. How would you react? I would suspect you’d claw his eyes out, and for good reason.