The church is made up of people – people who are flawed and make huge, hurtful mistakes. Often times I find they manage the house of worship like a business and forget their ‘mission statement’ which is to minister to the broken reach out to the lost. And lots of people attend for the networking and social aspects, which only confounds the structure. They are still offered the same forgiveness that we are.

I am presently church-hunting after having not been an active church member for 5 years. I got so swept up in service in the church (teaching, missions, outreach, choir, etc…) that I started substituting service for a personal relationship with God. I got burned out and took a break. Churches can break your back if you let them. But I have seen so much good they do – Hurricane Katrina relief, teaching children about Jesus, inner city ministries, visiting the sick and grieving, etc…

What I try to remember is that I am there to worship and not people-please. And we have to pray for church leaders, especially those who make these kinds of mistakes. And church leaders need to remember that there are people observing from the outside and drawing the same conclusions as you. In the end we will all be accountable, right?

Focus suggestion – Try looking for the things that the church does right and don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Oh, I had not seen (or paid attention to) that particular scripture you referenced. I went to Bible Gateway and read the entire context. Thanks for giving me something to ponder today.

I feel bad for that brother, and I think that church was really insensitive. However, as Conservative Belle mentioned above, we need be careful not to throw out the baby with the bathwater.

Hey, how come only the ladies who visit your blog get the love? Where’s some brotherly love for your good brothers who come back time and again to hear you whine?

Well Linc I think that Isaiah may have just solved your whole problem! You should definately start considering giving the guys some love… Look at it this way you will double your chances of a date this Saturday night

@CB: I hate babies…. but yeah, I know what you mean.

@Isaiah: Awww sorry about that. C’mere and give your lil’ brother a kissy wissy.

:D

The problem I have is with people claiming to be Christians that are clearly not. Oh, that’s right, every time you ask God to forgive your sins, you can start doing them all over again. Either the same ones or different ones. Just ask for forgiveness and everything will be just ducky.

L, sorry for the verbose post. My mind is on fire in the morning and then slowly fades by the end of the day.

@ConsrvYank1 – Do you mean that people who are forgiven can’t be tempted? Or do you mean people who just go through the motions but don’t have remorse and don’t make considerable efforts to change that behavior?

I’m going to have to side with Lincoln. And this is not a kiss up ’cause I’m new around here. The story he cited has thousands and thousands of similar ones that could be told. Being on the staff of a church (especially as a pastor) is just about the worse job you can have if you go through crisis. Yes, I am speaking from personal experience. I personally have met dozens of people devasted by how they were treated as church staff members. This has nothing to do with issues of faith or theology. The “church” in America is one screwed up dysfunctional mess. But many out here are waking up and deciding that it may not make sense to put up with 80% BS, for the 20% real stuff.

Oooops, did I say that out loud??? What a rude first time comment! But I did introduce myself.

@CB: I like verbose comments, it gives me all kinds of warmth and snuggly wubs when I see someone take the time to write a good comment on my blog.

I know what ConsrvYank means by the way. There’s a segment of chruchgoers that believe you can act like satanists for 23 hours out of the day as lone as you “repent” the 24th hour. Repentance is just a formality rather than the willful act of trying to turn away from sin and cleaning up your life for the better.

And this is not a kiss up ’cause I’m new around here.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I just want to say abhorrent behavior by institutional 21st Century American evangelical churches and Sunday Politicking Clubs is truly painful and embarrassing to a lot of non-religious Christians as well as “non-believers.” I’m a free-range practitioner because of some of the cringe-worthy situations you’ve discussed here. That just means I won’t go back to church until I find one that’s not about sins, rules, performance, judgment, cliques, politics or the building. God, please save me from (some of) your followers! Remember — Christianism is not the same as Christianity.

I thought of my own past disillusionments when I read your post. But I’m not an eloquent writer so I’m stinkin’ this all up and sounding more bitter than I truly am. It occurred to me that you might enjoy ‘The God Journey’ as much as I did–a podcast by a great couple o’guys who stepped outside the church box and want to actually relate to “non-believers” and just live a life full of love without condemnation, judgment, and recrimination. Um, like Jesus-the-person did. Didn’t He hang out with thieves, sluts, & liars whom he loved regardless? Didn’t He love ‘em without turning into some kind of evil murderer or a power-hungry robed guy in a pointy hat? Heck, if He’s who He said He is, He sure doesn’t need me to sell folks on His finer points. I’m not in the business of converting anyone.

Here’s the link. Take what you like and leave the rest. However, the shows will make more sense if you start at the beginning in the archives before you jump around and try to enjoy the latest p’casts. http://www.thegodjourney.com

It frustrates me as well to hear stories like that. I’ve been struggling with the whole idea of church for the last three years. I think my husband and I have finally found a place to plant our feet. I agree, the church is full of sinners as well as people who claim to believers, that aren’t, simply because they don’t know what it means to be a believer, which is sad. Western Culture Christianity, as a whole, hasn’t done a very good job at teaching the truth about salvation.

But I tell you, try not to get bitter and start praying. We need to even love our enemies, which is tough, trust me, I know. Start praying for the leaders of these churches. I would like to turn you to an awesome worship artist. Jason Upton, maybe you’ve heard of him. I’m just so encouraged by his passion for the Lord and for the Holy Spirit. Most of his music is prayers lifted up to God and things he’s heard from the Lord. His worship style is spontaneous. In fact, going to his concert at the end of the month.

Anyways, many churches are sick, very sick. But as believers, no matter what church building we attend, we are still the church, making up the Body of Christ. All I can urge you to do is pray, pray, pray. I don’t agree with what happened to your friend, but maybe perhaps his season there has come to an end and somewhere down the road is something far better. The Lord has an awesome way of doing that, though we don’t always see it right away. I would encourage you not to get bitter and angry and not to allow your friend to get bitter and angry because it will just lead to spiritual sickness in both of you. Don’t let Satan get a foothold.

You are your friend’s church too, so be church to him and help him through this simly because what he thought was his support, obviously hasn’t been. Again, not agreeing with the church, but perhaps it might be good for him to step down from leadership and not to look at himself as an outcast, but use the time to his advantage to heal from the wounds he has suffered. Personal attacks to the church is not going to make his situation any better. In fact, it might be barrier to his healing.

I’m an anxious person. I’ve been slowly learning not to worry so much. I’m reminded constantly that the Lord knows my situation, knows my struggles, and has a plan. I just need to have faith. We, as Christians, are called to struggle. It is a testing of our faith.

I know this doesn’t make things any easier for you or your friend. He has a long road of healing ahead of him. The church is human, but God is perfect. Ultimately we are to rely on the Holy Spirit anyways. Encourage him to build that relationship further. I’d encourage you to do the same. God gives us things that no one person can give us.

Pray, pray, pray.

Sorry, got on my soapbox again, but I’ve been pondering a lot myself lately. Perhaps you’ll see it soon on my next blog!

@Suzanne: Thanks for the link!

@ecclesia: I’ll have to give Upton a listen, and if he sounds as good as you say I may add him to my worship collection (which is embarrassingly thin.)

I don’t know the guy personally (since he’s a friend of a friend), but my friend had been led to contact him and offer him some comfort since the church never did. He already has a better paying job now too, so I think eventually he’ll be alright.

Look forward to see what you write about this.

L, sorry for the verbose post. My mind is on fire in the morning and then slowly fades by the end of the day.

@ConsrvYank1 – Do you mean that people who are forgiven can’t be tempted? Or do you mean people who just go through the motions but don’t have remorse and don’t make considerable efforts to change that behavior?

I mean people who just go throug the motions. And from what I have seen on and throughout the 68 years of my life, unfortunately that is the majority. I personally, will never step foot in a church again, so I am not even looking. I can pray in my house, my car, and in the grocery store. Which I do by the way, especially the grocery store. Have you seen the rise in prices lately?

@CB: I hate babies…. but yeah, I know what you mean.

:D

Linc, you do not hate babies. Stop making stuff up.

Oh alright, I don’t really hate anything under 3 years old. Anything older though I reserve the right to back over with a truck.

Virginal Weenie Tot?

Is that like …. a hot dog meeting a tater tot? Er, huh?

a hot dog meeting a tater tot?

Why yes, the “virginal” meaning one that has never been eaten.

That’s absolutely terrible. I can’t believe they did that to him!