Why A-List Bloggers Should Bite Me Hard

One thing I can’t stand about the effort to drive more traffic to a site is the almost mandatory need to play suck ass to some high traffic megablog in the hopes that maybe, someday, somehow, they might acknowledge your puny existence for one microsecond and throw a fraction of their gazillion readers and visitors your way.

If I write a post I think is particularly funny, charming and relevant, I email a link to it to a couple of high profile bloggers, then pray, beg, sacrifice chickens and hope hope hopey o’ change hope that it doesn’t disappear into the darkest catacombs of that blogger’s inbox, never to be seen again.

Except that of course it does, because I am a speck of dust who can never evolve to the point that I could successfully grab their attention, though mostly I think it’s because I’m not a hot babe who blogs in her underwear (and leaves up a webcam to prove that she does in fact, blog in her underwear.)

Makes me feel like I’m in high school all over again, trying to get into an exclusive, elitist club that nobody wants me to be in, partly because they weren’t even aware of my existence, and if the time should ever come that they did become aware, then they’d rue the day I was born. It seems that I can only inspire either indifference or sheer, unadulterated hatred.

All I can really do then is watch from the sidelines while these successful bloggers happily fondle each other and share links and traffic and readers, and yet I myself can only but trudge endlessly in the mud of Google irrelevancy. It all seems so unfair, because really, all I’m asking for is a microcosm of acknowledgment, just a F*%&ING link or two from your millions-of-hits-a-month blog that takes all of two seconds to post, which would at least give me a fighting chance to succeed. And I’m not even doing it for me, I’m doing it to help my sick, sick Mommy, who I can’t fully care for unless I can find a way to supplement my already heavily taxed salary. A link for a life. That’s all it takes, but noooooo, I’m not in your “speeeeeecial” club see, and worse yet, I’m not a half-naked chick prancing around my blog and uploading sultry looking photos of myself to Flickr either, so therefore I’m not worth the poopie poo on your shoe.

Well screw you big boy, and screw this ridiculous internet caste system we’ve made for ourselves. A-list blogs and B-List blogs and C-list blogs and whatnot? F&^% that. I got my own label: the One-of-a-kind, All-night-long, I-am-your-Daddy’s-Master Blog.

And this club can only fit one member, baby: Me. :shades:

Tags: blog, blogger, bloggers, blogs, caste system, elitism, email, exclusive club, funny, google, Links, traffic
Categories: Comic Relief

( Print This Post | | 121 views )

(No Ratings Yet)

Loading ...

4 Responses to “Why A-List Bloggers Should Bite Me Hard”

Tina wrote a comment on August 22, 2008 @ 09:08:pm
Quote

You know, when I started blogging I blogged for me. Then I got all caught up in the “you have to do this, you have to do that, be nice to the A-bloggers, etc” and I started seeing blogging as a chore and not as enjoyable.

Now, while I have a small group of subscribers, I’m happy with that. I don’t earn millions of dollars but I earn enough of my blogs to help supplement our income.

Oh and I agree with you that it kinda feels like highschool, AND the group of mums that wait at the top gate of the primary school each afternoon. If you’re not in it, you’re not cool apparently.

I second the “bite me!” LOL

Chick Voice wrote a comment on August 22, 2008 @ 11:16:pm
Quote

psssst……… hello Lincoln???? There have been a few posts I’d wanted to comment on………..but I’m STILL watching (and blogging) about the Olympics. ( I like it, really) :unsure: and I’m afraid of getting my face bashed in……….. You seem more angry than ordinary. You’re not coming to Denver with all the other angry people, are you? :fighting:

backs away :unsure:

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on August 22, 2008 @ 11:22:pm
Quote

I’m not angry, I’m…. passionate.

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on August 22, 2008 @ 11:32:pm
Quote

Then I got all caught up in the “you have to do this, you have to do that, be nice to the A-bloggers, etc”

Yeah it got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. I’d like to know that I can follow the road less traveled rather than the one being tollboothed by these A-list weenies.
:nyah: