The only time I really enjoy my dreams is when I’m on an epic adventure of some sort, or when I’m a superhero like Spider-man, or when I’m getting some serious loving from a really hot babe.

Not last night though. Last night I’m on this bus right, and there is this seriously smokin’ hot girl with the most intense blue eyes I’ve ever seen also riding on the bus. Of course, me being my charming self was able to draw her attention and we ended up kissing. Only when we kiss, I don’t see her, I see this meter instead, which is analyzing how good I’m kissing her and of course the reading is really LOW, so it’s basically telling me that I suck at it. Then the girl kisses me back and the meter’s readings suddenly goes off the chart. Of course.

But even then, I can’t enjoy the experience because all I see is this fricking meter, and on top of that I got Bill Clinton sitting next to me on the bus. Seriously. I swear dude, if there was anybody who could kill the romance, this guy would be it. And he’s looking at me with this smirk on his face as if to say, “I could do better.”