I’ve been pining for the girl of my dreams ever since I was a wee one and had my heart broken by an 8 year old who tore up my Valentine’s card and then kicked me in the shinny. Since then, over the years my dream girl had always become nothing more than a part of my fantasies, a figment of the imagination, an image in my dreams, yet never someone who was truly real.
But what if… she were?
Something happened a few days ago that made me realize it was not only possible, but it was indeed a reality, a reality that God Himself was going to make happen. It was no longer a question of whether she existed or not, but when she would finally reveal herself and change my life forever.
She IS real. The revelation of that was finally beginning to dawn on me.
So why am I so panicked about it?
In a way I think I’ve grown comfortable in my misery. It was a safe place to be, absent of any responsibility or any obligation whatsoever of having to work at a real, honest-to-goodness relationship. That she would exist meant my life as I knew it was soon going to end, and I no longer had an excuse to be a bum anymore.
It meant I had to get my act together and start training myself to be the man she needed me to be. Strong, healthy, loyal, disciplined, loving, caring, confident… you know, all those things I’ve never been before?
Hmmmmm…
As I think about it, if she really is the girl of my dreams, someone who is gorgeous, warm-hearted, virtuous, humble, loving and gorgeous, then why should she be punished for ending up with someone like me? :-D
I might just decide not to change my life after all, only because I wouldn’t want her life ruined for being stuck with a mooch-ball like me. She deserves better. She deserves a REAL man, not some dweeb monkey who swoons to the melodic sounds of Air Supply.
Yep, I think I’m actually behaving like a real man’s man here by taking the easy way out, that way I can continue living the self destructive life I’ve been living for oh, 10 odd years now. I’m sure she’ll find somebody else too, and I can continue to pine after her in my perfect fantasies where I have super powers and perpetually rescue her from the dark, evil forces of the Znorg Empire, and if I ever get bored of that, then I can always get lost in my collection of my favorite Nancy Drew mystery games. You see? It’s all win-win baby. :-D
… … … … … right?
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“Something” happened? What, you asked her out on your first date?
Damn 8 year old little girl! Thankfully my little 8 year old daughter is a kind heart. No bitter hearts later on down the road. So what did happen? Don’t tease with the realization.
Change is scary…it’s best to stay the same.
@Casey: Rock on. ;-)
@CaseyC, Dannie: It’s not something I can really share, but it was something that was enough to prove she was real, and that I needed to stop acting like she wasn’t. :)
Still, I don’t like change.
Okay, so this whole post got me VERY intrigued.
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What Nancy Drew mystery games?
All will be revealed in due time. ;-)
As for Nancy Drew, go here.
Hmm…interesting!
I have my random moments of interestingness. ;-)