And that is without a doubt, because by next year I’ll not only be debt free, I’ll also have a nice little nest egg too, so I’ll be able to afford a hooker for V-Day 2010.
What? I’m not gonna do anything, I’m just looking for the company, that’s all.
Hopefully though it won’t come to that. Maybe sometime between now and next February, things will have changed enough that the doors to love will finally swing open, and young, single women everywhere will suddenly discover my inner hotness and wubs me for who I am, green warts and all. It could happen right?
I want to believe it could happen, and indeed I was even given a sign that it would happen, but here’s the thing: I suck. I truly, unequivocally, unquestionably suck a moose’s dead cooties.
No decent girl on this earth who has lived a virtuous life full of kindness and charity should have to be punished by being saddled with a mooch guzzling hairy buttbag like me. I really don’t deserve to have someone special in my life. I don’t deserve to have a helpmate, a best friend, an equal partner in love. I don’t deserve to be happy.
I’ve been a failure my whole life, and I will always be a failure. That’s just how it is, and the kind of girl I’m looking for deserves nothing less than a winner. Besides, it’s too late to meet someone anyway. I’m already past my prime, I’m disabled, my hair is turning gray and I’ll probably be bald by Christmas, and God knows I’m already ugly enough as it is. All I’ve ever wanted was to experience young love, and that opportunity has finally slipped away. I’ll never know what it’s like to “rejoice with the wife of my youth.” I’ll never know what it’s like to be in love with someone who’s in love with me.
I don’t even see the point of blogging any more. All I’ve done was work myself like a dog for over two years to keep this site going and hoping some day to profit from it, and then I have to watch while others blog for merely a week and suddenly they get opportunities left and right without even breaking a sweat. Why? Because I suck. Al Bundy has had more success than me. At least he scored 4 touchdowns in a high school football game. I was in the marching band, and I wasn’t even first string either.
Sigh. I suck.
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This all sounds strangely familiar… It’s like somehow I’ve heard this all somewhere before…
BOBBY? Is that YOU?
Who the crap is Bobby?
hopefully just visualizing your plan for Vday 2010 will be enough… if not… there’s always extortion.
Happy Valentine’s!
Heh, the only extortion I’ll be able to pull off would involve lots of tears and begging.
You’re kidding right? You have to be kidding. You don’t just quit, you CAN’T. You ensure your failure by quitting. I’ve been blogging for – I don’t know, 5 years? 6? I don’t make money, I don’t have a freakin’ niche. It just *is*. So what? So… get a niche. Be an expert at something. And get a blog design to go with it. And while you’re at it, get Darren’s book, or do you have it already? You have to do what those money makers do – act like you know it all. You’re the sh*t, man. You are. BE the sh*t. Be ONE with the sh*t.
And you might also learn from others, you usually find what you’re looking for as soon as you stop looking for it.
Now, get off your pity pot and focus!
*cupcakes*
Oh Geez that was depressing!
Note to self- skip reading Linc’s blog on Valentine’s Day 2010, unless he’s found himself a girlfriend.
@Leanne: I don’t like Darren. He’s a weenie. He always sticks his face right into the camera when doing videos as if it were really important that we see his nose hairs.
Seriously, I don’t have a niche, unless you count feeling sorry for myself as a niche. I just don’t have any interests that I’m really passionate about now. Maybe I will in the future though.
Thanks for the cupcake! :-D
@Jenny: Haha, you got roped into my inner circle of darkness and despair.
Embrace the dark side. We have cookies!
Where is @MissRight when @link4justice is looking for her on this day of LOVE? http://bit.ly/WWyeV
I’ve been to the dark side. they definately lied about that cookie thing.
I’m with Leanne, get off your pity pot and focus. You want an interest? Here’s how you find one-Ask yourself what irritates you enought to do something to change it? Not good enough? Ask yourself what you have the most fun doing. It may be that complaining about life humorously IS your niche. Enjoy it!
And just by the way, why isn’t Wisconsin on your “which state should Lincoln move to” poll? I think we would be insulted if it weren’t for our current governor, and our taxes, and…well, it’s a pretty place! :P
No mountains in Wisconsin. I gotta have my mountains.
Although I did buy my SUV there… (they shipped it to me), and I might visit to try out their burgers. ;-)
Your dreamgirl is not going to be attracted to a hooker seeking whino. What you need to do is march yourself down to the STD testing office and hit on the nurse that takes your ‘sample’.
You could also spend next Valentine’s Day at the spermbank ensuring that your line does not die out by contributing to some whorey old woman’s aging desire to spark some life into her aging eggs.
Get the batter off the brain, my man! Stop focusing on all that’s wrong and get off your butt and do something about it.