The Double Edged Sword of Singlehood
Lincoln Adams | October 13, 2008 @ 9:23 pmI was reading a few quotes by Dr. Laurence J. Peter (the creator of the Peter Principle), and he had this to say about marriage (section in bold are mine):
A bachelor does not grow lonelier as the years pass by. He learns how to live with himself. He satisfies his unique social needs. His companions may consist of members of his own sex or of the opposite sex or any combination of the above. He may dream of the exceptional girl who could excite him to the point where he would give up all this, but while his standards are going up, the quality of what he can get is going down. The available choice of desirable prospective wives gets smaller day by day. As his competence in making a rational selection increases, the desirable selectees decrease.
To estimate his chances of success he looks at his married pals. Most are stalking girls at the office or sneaking off with others’ wives. He concludes that if married men have mistresses or look for sex and love outside of marriage he would not improve his situation by wedlock. A bachelor is a man who looks before he leaps – and then does not leap.
Yup. 
It does seem like no matter how desperate I get, my standards continue to rise higher and higher until they reach such insurmountable heights that no woman on Earth could ever possibly live up to it. I think part of the reason for this is because for each year that I continue to be deprived of wubs and snugglies, I end up wanting whatever romance that might come to be even more potent and meaningful just to make up for those lost years. In other words, I’d want whatever marriage or relationship I end up in to be worth the wait. And the longer I wait, the higher the bar goes.
I’m beginning to realize though that what I hope for has become nothing more than a pipe dream. After all, women are simply incapable of being able to offer the things I’m looking for, even itty-bitty little things like you know: friendship, love, respect, loyalty, and so on. Even when you pay ‘em for it (which is usually the case, marriage or not), the returns are rarely worth the investment.
And now it’s getting to the point now where I really just don’t care any more. With the sinking knowledge that I never will meet the girl of my dreams, I feel safe and content now in openly bashing this vile gender of the human race and exposing them for the dark, ghoulish souls of evil that they are. 
As Laurence Peter once said: “Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.” Knowing this, I would prefer instead to be the hero who survives well beyond the first chapter, riding off into the sunset on his Harley as he moves on to yet another chapter in his life, even if he must ride… alone.
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Tags: bachelor, girl of my dreams, laurence j peter, marriage, relationship, romance, singlehood, standards, women
Categories: Romance and Relationships
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18 Responses to “The Double Edged Sword of Singlehood”
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Quite frankly, I don’t think you (or the author) give any credence or thought to position of women here. Women have the intense competitive pressure to try to achieve this higher and higher barrier created by men who fear commitment. Most women don’t wish to settle for men who cheat and we don’t want to feel like we are being graded daily, like a child’s report card either. Besides, it isn’t like our desirable prospective husbands are getting any better either.
I don’t disagree with some of the points made by the author. I’ve dated men just like those he describes – men who fear commitment because they see failure of relationships all around them. That’s just a cop out. Relationships are what each person is willing to put into them. If a relationship is failing it is because both people are not putting into it, equal amounts of effort for its success.
Based solely on the excerpts you shared, I would say the man holds some serious double-standards. It’s frustrating.
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To be honest, I think men are worse for somewhat different reasons, they just escape most of my blistering witticism on their overall piggish suck-buttiness because I’m not attracted to guys. Let us all thank God for that.
P.S. The men you dated are weenies if they couldn’t see you for the obvious great catch that you are.
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Linc, DUDE! BOOHOO 4 u! Seriously dude.
You make such blanket statements about women it’s rather a sad argument. Perhaps it could be because of your own actions, words, how you present yourself that you haven’t paired up yet.
Or maybe you could possibly start to see women as something not there simply for you, to be WHAT YOU WANT. You mention each year you raise the bar? Are you bar worthy yourself?
“friendship, love, respect, loyalty, and so on. “– do you really believe that you offer those things to a woman? You couldn’t possibly be offering that when all you do is look for someone to fit your expectations.
How about this concept, RESPECT…show respect for the other person PERIOD. Maybe you’ll start to see some come back your way.
I hope you get out of this sad ass pile o **** you are in right now. But dude you do it to yourself.
I know, you’ll write me and my views off because I am a woman. Go for it.
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I do offer all of those things, but the problem is that’s not what women want. They want money and a sperm donor, but mostly money.
And they just want someone to coddle them so they can stay home and watch soap operas all day while the man works likes a dog to support her lavish tastes for bling bling and shoes.
Am I wrong??!?
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You’re answer to me PROVES my very point…that you don’t offer respect. Why would ANY sane woman want a relationship with a man who says and feels as you do. There’s nothing good, peaceful, loving or safe in what you say. You clearly have no idea what it’s supposed to be about. I just feel sad for you kiddo.
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You have to earn my respect first, my dear.
And please, you act as if women were all cuddly angels of sugary goodness such that any bitterness I have could never ever possibly be justified, which is a load of tightly wrapped crapballs.
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It seems Lauren is saying that if nobody will date you, you don’t still have the right to have standards about who and what you will be in a relationship with. I guess you should just lower your self-worth to the point you find some…thing…that will date you immediately, and quit waiting for someone that’s right for you.
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You communist…you edited my comment to protect your little liberal woman friends feeewings. Awe…how sweet. Well, when Satan and his demon hordes devour both of your souls for your indulgence in the occultic teachings of “The Promise”…we’ll see how lovey dovey touchy feely you are. You anti-free speech, censor-happy commie.
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@Casey: Kneel before your master.
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Okay.
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Uh no, not you CY1. I think I’ll make you my queen.
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have to lol at this. Dude, you ARE a /b/tard. You haven’t stopped being a /b/tard (I saw your comments on the Palin hack article on Malkin’s site; linked from some chan, a smaller one’s /i/ board). Remember those MSRelationship threads on /b/ (and now /r9k/) amirite
“Comments that are spam-like, rude, moronic, written in LOLspeak or designed as flame-bait may be deleted.”
maybe you have lost the way of your harbl
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I had to look up harbl.
New rule, anyone writing in 4chan-speak is gonna get their asses stomped from here to Mars. Doesn’t anyone speak English anymore? Crikey.
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heh…. wow. Though I do agree with the whole, “The Longer I wait, the higher my standards rise” idea, I particularly feel that you have put a limit on God, as jokingly as you may be. Course, it sounds like this is YOUR version of MY “I will be an old maid, living in a cute little cottage off in the middle of nowhere covered in hundreds of different-colored roses, proud owner of 42 cats, all of whom shall stay OUTside in the barn several hundred feet away so as to prevent the whole ‘cat pee’ smell thing. And in all of my self-induced misery, I will be satisfied in knowing that in fact, I chose this route all the time.”
Haha. Enjoy. At some point God will walk that girl into your life, and I do believe she’ll give you the chase of a lifetime. Somehow, that makes me feel better about you in a sense, being as this is my second comment on your blog. I can’t seem to stay away it seems… hmmmmm. Don’t flatter yourself. *wink*.
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@Sarah: As belligerent as I am sometimes, there’s no denying that I am still downright irresistible.
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In all of your outright opposition to humility, I bet that if I were to ever meet you in person, you would make me laugh, you soft-hearted romantic. I can spot one a mile away. I will say however, though in light of the lack of worthy men in my life, I too, am downright irresistible.
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Ix-nay on the oft-hearted-ay… I do have a reputation to protect after all.
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haha.
As I said before in no particular words, I can only imagine what kind of person you are in real life. Somehow, I think you’re more normal then you let on. hehe.
Care to comment?
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