YouTube | The Habitation of Justice

Hello, my name is Lincoln, and I hate women.

Lincoln Adams | March 11, 2010 @ 9:36 pm

So today I came across this video:

Have you noticed, whenever you can see the driver, it’s always a woman? Watch the last one too, you just KNOW that was a dude who did it. Awesome. :ggrin:

So anyway, I show it to my male coworker, and we get to a discussion about how women are pretty much the dumbest, worthless, most good for nothing creatures ever.

“God, I seriously hate them, you know? I hate working with them, I hate looking at them, I just HATE them.” I made a spitting motion to the ground.

“I hear ya, how much better would this place be if if it were just us men. Then we’d REALLY be getting things done.”

“A-fracking-men. I am so done with them, seriously.” I looked over and noticed Karen was approaching us (a girl I once crushed on.) Oh crap, she probably overheard us and was going to give us the third-

“Do any of you guys have change for a dollar?”

“Of course, honey!” I ran to my desk and got out some quarters. “Are you getting a soda? They raised it to a dollar twenty-five, so I’ll give you an extra quarter if you need it.”

“Yeah, actually, you don’t mind? I’ll pay you when I get change again.”

“Of course, sweetie, don’t worry about it.” I smiled.

“Thanks, you are such a doll.” She left, and I turned back to my coworker.

“What?”

“You… disgust me.”

Tags: accidents, coworker, driving, funny, girl, karen, soda, video, women, women suck, YouTube
Categories: In The Coal Mine, Romance and Relationships

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Why I hate career oriented women and hope they rot in hell

Lincoln Adams | September 16, 2009 @ 9:30 pm

Only a few days left before I dropkick my eHarmony subscription in the face, and already I’m ready to take a vow of celibacy and join Al Bundy’s activist group NO MA’AM.

I get matched to a few lawyers, mental health professionals and other women working in full time careers that keep them ridiculously busy, but still I sent them all communication requests, since they seemed to pretty much have it together and were cute. You think I get a response? Of course not. They haven’t closed the match though, they’re just too busy to do much of anything, see.

And right away I know what they really want. They don’t want a relationship. What they DO want is a weekend boy toy, somebody to fill in those gaps of what little free time they have left over after working their jobs, a secondhand cuddle toy that they can squeeze like a Tickle Me Elmo doll for a few minutes before running right back to work or other commitments, leaving me in the lurch to twiddle my thumbs and wait until they’re finally free to hang out again.

I’ve seen this attitude before, women who would tell me they’ll be right back on IM and then disappear for a day, two days, a week, 2 weeks, before finally popping up again, no apology, no explanation, totally oblivious to their bad manners. What really chaps my Calvin Kleins about it all is that when you call them out on it, they accuse you of being a sissy boy who can’t handle being alone for more than 30 seconds, and real men wouldn’t be so clingy and if I can’t handle it then I don’t deserve them, blah blah blah. They exhaust every excuse to justify their rudeness, honestly believing that I am to sit down, shut up and wait patiently until they’re ready to finally bestow me with the greatness of their presence once again. For a few minutes that is.

It explains the attraction to aloof guys, and the amusing logical result of it when they wring their hands trying to figure out why such a guy doesn’t yearn for them and was so easily able to dump them like bad coffee, having already moved on to his next conquest.

And here’s the thing: if you don’t have 2 minutes of free time to reply to a request to communicate on eHarmony, just how much free time are you going to have for a real relationship? And I’m sorry, I am not going to be anybody’s weekend boyfriend, so if that’s your angle, you can go suck the ass of a moose. That’s not how I roll.

And before people start whining about how men do this all the time to women, I’m not excusing that either. It’s wrong when either side does it, and if it’s wrong when men do it, why would it be ok when women do it too? If you have a busy job, but you want a relationship and someone special in your life but you ain’t got the time, then MAKE time. Simple as that. You want it bad enough, you’ll find a way. I sacrifice my time to be with someone I care about, why can’t you? You say I’m too clingy? *bleep* you.

So women want a guy who is secure and happy without the need for girlie wubs, and therefore not clingy or piney or whatever the hell it is that offends you women so much that we would have the audacity to yearn for your presence. Since that’s the case, where would you expect to find such a secure-without-a-woman dude willing to put up with your mind bending neurosis? Uranus??

So how ’bout this then, I cling to my money and a single life free of your mind games and bull donkey turd, and you can cling to your precious careers and your never-ending search for one-sided wubs. See which one of us will end up happier, biznatches.

I leave you now with this Youtube vid that exemplifies for all time why women these days are just not worth the trouble anymore.

Tags: attitude, boy toy, boyfriend, career, eharmony, free time, life, profession, relationship, vow of celibacy, women, YouTube
Categories: Romance and Relationships

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Whoever said women fall quickly in love was smoking serious crack

Lincoln Adams | December 1, 2008 @ 11:18 pm

Generally, it takes ten years for a woman to fall in love with a man. I’m serious people, this is science, look it up.

Things might move along a wee little faster though if you put some muscle into it and work 24/7 to get a girl to fall for you. Then perhaps after spending enough time, effort, money, (and then a little more money), and much sweating of blood and tears, she will finally deem you worthy of her love. Maybe.

But in the meantime you have to do all the heavy lifting, huffing and puffing your way into her heart, and if you’re a sensible enough guy you might start thinking somewhere along the way, “What woman short of Queen Esther herself would be worth all this aggravation?”

I mean really.

I look at creation and all I see is an ocean of women who are self centered, fickle, manipulative, ball crushing, man hating hell-beasts that were handcrafted in the bowels of perdition by the iniquitous and the vile.

But for most guys, they’re perfectly willing to traverse this minefield as long as it gets them the BOOTY. The acquisition of booty has therefore become the driving force of their existence. But for a Christian guy like me, it’s not the booty I want, it’s the luuuuuuuuuuuuurv. But women today, for whatever reason seem to be far more willing to give over their bodies than they are in giving over their hearts. Maybe it’s because they have no heart to begin with? :naughty:

I might indeed be the last of my kind, a guy who wants romance and love and lots of wubbly snuggles, but in this day and age, there seems to be no one left who can truly fulfill those needs. When I look at a girl, there never seems to be anything compelling about her that would make her worth the effort, or worth the chase. And the thing that really kills it for me is the utter lack of empathy. There’s just no warmth, no sense of caring, no concern about my life or interest in me as a person. If I poured out my heart to them they would be unmoved by it all. They just don’t care. They’re lukewarm, neither hot nor cold.

So why would I want to fight for a woman like that? You could be more beautiful than a setting sun, but if you have a heart of stone, if you give me absolutely no incentive to make it worth my while, why should I even bother? I’m the kind of guy who just wants to hear these words:

It’s hearing that kind of heart, that kind of passion that would tell me you’re worth fighting for, indeed worth moving even heaven and earth for. But I fear those words will never come.

Yeah, I think it’s time I gave up this silly dream of finding my soulmate and true love and whatnot, and finally moved on with my life, even if that means having to juice myself up with mega doses of Prozac just so I can numb out these feelings and keep them from consuming me.

Living the life of an emotional zombie has never looked better. :ggrin:

Tags: christian, empathy, love, lukewarm, romance, soulmate, stardust, true love, woman, women, women suck, YouTube
Categories: Romance and Relationships

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I’m air banding it today

Lincoln Adams | November 26, 2008 @ 9:00 am

I looked out this morning and the sun was gone, turned on some music to start my day, I lost myself in a familiar song, I closed my eyes and I slipped awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…

It’s a miracle I haven’t been commited yet. :ggrin:

Tags: air banding, band, boston, music, scrubs, song, YouTube
Categories: Comic Relief

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Ok, I’m pretty sure I got this now

Lincoln Adams | August 3, 2008 @ 12:23 am

Here it is, a nice compromise between having a dark theme and accommodating those of you who simply MUST have a boring white layout with boring black text, because you’re color blind or have the eyes of a 90 year old or just like to bust my chops because you’re a petty vain creature who needs to seriously sit on something spiky and leave me the flip alone already. Mother.

You have no idea what kind of work it took to go into the theme and hack some serious gibberish “What Drunk Monkey Came Up With THIS Crap?!?!” that we all know and love as PHP and CSS, just so I could make you guys happy. I didn’t go all whitey though because it seemed too bright to me, so I toned it down a bit and modified the line height for the easiest readability. Please tell me this looks alright to you or I’m just gonna have to go out and start kicking in the faces of those asstastic illegals who sit on the corner waiting for work and ruining the look of the neighborhood just by being ugly.

Come to think of it I’d be doing that anyway even if I was in a good mood. :naughty:

But seriously, let me know what you think. I also finished embedding the Gallery script into my blog here, so I can now upload albums of photos and even video/audio content as well. Super cool. I love to keep everything in house instead of seeing my junk being exclusively shipped out to content stealers like Flickr and YouTube, so being able to get this working was a godsend. You know how the US Army uses the slogan “Army of One?” Well consider me the Social Media Network of One. Why? Because I am just too awesome to participate in third world networks like MySpace and Facebook. :shades:

I think that pretty much wraps it up as far as the upgrade goes. I may play around with AJAX a little to see if I can enhance some features here, but it already seems like overkill to me. Plus I really need to go out and get some sun after having been up my blog’s rear end for over a week now. :blink:

Tags: army of one, blog, css, embed, facebook, flickr, gallery script, myspace, Photos, PHP, social media, upgrade, YouTube
Categories: Blog Fog

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Believe Me, I Need It

Lincoln Adams | June 17, 2008 @ 1:03 am

The news have been sucking rotten eggs lately, so I’m sticking my head in the sand for a while to keep myself from getting even more depressed. Luckily I stumbled across an old Bruce Campbell commercial that helped cheer me up. Good old Bruce, he can make me laugh without even trying:

It’s true, I don’t have it, but man do I NEED it. I need it BAD.

But how can I get it, since I don’t have it? If only I had it, I wouldn’t need it, much less want it. But since I want it, I obviously don’t have it, and when I ask those who do have it how they got it, they just laugh at me.

But I need to learn how to get it, or I’ll never have it, and if I can’t ever have it, I’ll never be happy. If I’m happy, I’ll know I’ll have gotten it, but until then I’ll always be sad. But being sad stops me from getting it, and if I can’t get it, I can’t be happy, so I need it, in order to get it, but since I can’t get what I need in order to get what I want, I think that pretty much means I’m screwed.