There’s nothing quite as hilarious as watching a bunch of Cowgirls fans bawling their eyes out over their upset loss to the Giants, even if it is in jest:

I don’t expect that the Giants will be able to pull off another upset victory against Green Bay next week, but fortunately I happen to like the Packers, and after the kind of year Brett Favre’s had, the man has earned it.

I walked into the Chief’s office and sat down. The chief took his seat behind his desk and leaned back a little in a more relaxed position.

“So, tell me what the problem is…”

…three hours later I got a frantic call from my lieutenant asking me to call him back as soon as possible. I guess people were finally starting to take me seriously.

It wasn’t easy though. The chief wasn’t willing to concede anything in my meeting with him at first, and it was looking more and more like I was going to get slapped for insubordination too. But I held my ground and made it clear I wasn’t going to let this one go. They knew I had a case, and they also knew they couldn’t intimidate me either.

In the end the chief finally called the lieutenant, who probably about crapped his pants when he realized I had gone over his head and dealt with the bigwigs. After leaving me an urgent message I called him back and we chatted for a few minutes. Devil Woman was finally being moved, this time for real. For now, the battle had finally been won.

The next day I finally went back to work after almost a month’s hiatus, the whole place abuzz about what I had done.

I passed by one guy who quickly called me out:

“LINC, you are da MAN!!!”

I blinked. “Umm, thanks?”

“Holy cow, if I had done what you did, I would have been kshhhhhhhh…,” he said, making a slashing motion across his neck. “You are DA MAN!”

My coworkers greeted me with much fanfare, then quickly ushered me to the same desk that had once been occupied by Devil Woman and my supervisor, who was now my ex-supervisor. If that didn’t speak volumes about the victory I had been given here, nothing did. I was now using the supervisor’s desk, effectively seizing what had used to be someone else’s “throne.”

It didn’t come without sacrifice though. I lost a week of vacation time, and I’ve probably been branded as a troublemaker now by some of the people here. Too bad, really. If rattling cages is what needs to be done to get some justice around here, then the world could certainly use a few more troublemakers.

I called up the Director’s office, but apparently the Director is such an important guy that I have to write a letter formally requesting a meeting with him first, then outline the reasons why. Good grief.

So I wrote a nice long letter explaining everything: naming names, describing Devil Woman’s long and sordid history, and my request to be immediately transferred either to another division altogether, or somewhere outside of headquarters.

Then I drove down to HQ and parked next to the building entrance. I grabbed my MP3 player in case the Director decided to see me then so I could record the conversation, and braced myself. In 7 years I had never done anything like this, and now my job and future was on the line. Once I turned in that letter there would be no going back. All of hell was about to be unleashed. I let out a long breath, and opened the door…

*RING*

My cell phone lit up, but I let it go to voicemail. I hesitated long enough to check my message just to see who it was, and it turned out to be my union rep, letting me know she had good news and to call her back as soon as possible.

Hmmmmmm… I looked at the entrance again for a moment, then decided to call her back.

“Hello?”

“Hi Del, it’s Linc. You had news for me?”

“Yep, she’s gone.”

“…………..what??“

“She’s gone, back to her old section.”

“What happened??”

“Apparently she wasn’t authorized to be in that section to begin with, so she’s been ordered back to her division.”

“……….well I’ll be a son of a b….”

I spoke for a few more minutes, and from what I could garner, my union rep had finally talked to one of the chiefs, who upon learning that Devil Woman had been moved, immediately called to have her put back. The move had been unauthorized and never should have occurred.

It was a victory, but I was peeved. My union rep had given me the runaround for days, telling me she couldn’t couldn’t be transferred, there was nothing she could do, I had no case, blah blah blah, and one conversation with the chief finally took care of that stupidity. Really, how about you actually find out for sure first what can’t be done before you start making broad assumptions and making me out to be the bad guy here? Damned stupid woman.

But… a victory is a victory, and I do need to thank God for it. If I hadn’t stood my ground, who knows how long she would have remained there. The powers that be in my section were trying to pull a fast one, but now they’re on notice. Next time they push me, I WILL bring the noise.

Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. - Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption

There are times when life really gets me down, and during those moments I’m often guilty of having a defeatist attitude about things. When I see a hurdle that seems insurmountable, I figure what’s the point in trying to leap it, I’m never gonna succeed anyway. The odds are always against me, so why bother?

Then I learned a little lesson recently. One of my most favorite Snapple flavors is Diet Iced Tea-Lemonade. I could drink gallons of this stuff in a day and still never get bored. But then suddenly I had a hard time finding it anywhere. The local supermarkets no longer seemed to stock them, so on a friend’s suggestion I decided to email Snapple. I figured it can’t hurt, even though I expected my email would be ignored. Nobody cares what I think anyway.

Well, I actually did get a response, but they said they were no longer distributing that flavor and would be discontinuing it due to low demand.

Figures. Why did I bother to send the email anyway? Really, when is a major corporation gonna care about anything I had to say? I’m just one guy after all. And I’m not even good looking.

Then a few months later, I hit one of the local supermarkets to get some grub and was shocked to find STACKS of Diet Iced Tea-Lemonade Snapples littered all over the place. Now every supermarket had ‘em on the shelves, so I started buying up cases like crazy as soon as there was a sale. You should see my apartment right now, it looks like a Snapple warehouse.

I guess Snapple had a change of heart, but whether I was part of the reason why or not, I got the point.

If you have something to say, then your voice should be heard, regardless of whether anyone is listening or not. If we lay down our arms, accepting defeat, we will never have victory. But if we stand up and fight and let our voice be heard, whether it’s for justice, (or to get back a favorite drink), then we have hope. We may not always have the victory, but we will always have hope of one.

So in all things, let us hope. Hope for a better future. Hope for justice to prevail. Hope for good to triumph over evil. Hope that Jessica Alba will someday give me a call.