“Let me just update this one file here….”

Sigh.

I had to go update a plugin last night because of a security hole, but unfortunately that update caused another plugin to break, so I had to go upgrade that plugin as well, which of course caused yet another plugin to break, so I went to upgrade that too, and before I knew it my spam blocker goes down in flames, I can’t preview comments anymore, my images no longer show up, my sidebars suddenly disappears, and then finally my entire blog goes up in smoke, the only thing left in its place being some cryptic error message telling me what an idiot I am and hahaha I suck.

Mother*&^% technology.

Things seem to be ok now, but my goodness, I was up till 4AM last night and had to work through the better part of today before things finally calmed down.

You know what, I think it’s time I gear up for a major revamp. I was gonna just say screw it and have a professional designer do it, but I think it’ll probably be better to set up a test blog closed from the public so I can play around with the latest blogging toys without tearing my hair out and spitting at people, and then when it’s stable enough I can release it for prime time with little fuss. That should also keep me busy enough so I don’t waste my time pining for a girl to love me since that’s never gonna happen because women all suck the ass of a hairy moose and should die in some horrible nuclear explosion bunch of monkey-faced harlot whores they be.

*ahem* Except my beloved womenly readers of course, who are all the very essence of perfection, virtue, and beauty.

See how I suck up to you guys so you’ll continue to love me and read my blog despite my crazy wild women-hating rants? I am so awesome.

After years of computer use, you’d think I would have learned by now that it’s not always wise to upgrade to the latest and greatest software the minute it comes out. It’s just bad hoodoo, dude.

But of course the second Wordpress 2.1 had been released, I just HAD to download it and install it right away, thinking my blog would run twice as fast due to the much touted bugfixes and cleaner code 2.1 offered. I imagined angels singing and the sounds of songbirds chirping as visitors would come and gape in awe at the newfound speed and ease at which they would surf my newly upgraded website.

Nope. Instead, it broke a few of my plugins and then torpedoed my blog’s skin. I furiously deleted everything and uploaded my backup copy as soon as I could, then sat back with a tear in my eye as other bloggers happily went onto 2.1 nirvana.

But I noticed in the brief moment that I did manage to get 2.1 working, that my first reaction had been: “Gee, doesn’t seem to be any different from 2.0.” And now, right on the heels of 2.1’s release, the developers are planning to soon release 2.2. After looking at the features THAT release will offer, I realized it didn’t really offer anything that I didn’t already have with the plugins I was currently using now. So truthfully, other than updating Wordpress 2.0.X with security fixes, there really wasn’t a pressing need for me to upgrade. I also knew with each upgrade it would take days, weeks, months (and maybe never) for developers to update their plugins in order to ensure compatibility with the latest version of Wordpress.

So what’s the hurry really? My blog is working fine as it is, and besides it seems like every time I upgrade, some major component gets totally hosed, forcing me to downgrade once again. If it ain’t broke…

I’m sure eventually I’ll have to upgrade my blog some day, especially once the developers stop supporting security fixes for my now grandfathered version of Wordpress. But until that happens, I ain’t gonna do nuttin’. Nuttin’, you hear me? Nuttin’!!!

Instead, I cleaned up the backend by removing some useless or rarely used plugins, then installed and somehow managed to get WP-Cache working without a hitch. That should cache my main pages and hopefully speed up load time for visitors. Aren’t I thoughtful? My blog now seems to be running smoothly, all my plugins are functional, and I’m finally starting to enjoy blogging for real again. Life is good.

Now, if I could only get me a woman…