I recently saw the movie Stardust on DVD, which I found to be a somewhat racy film, but one that had its tender moments as well. Here we had a guy who was doing his darndest best to win over the love of a beautiful (and shallow) town girl, but unfortunately, she sees him as nothing more than a lowly and clumsy shop boy. One night both of them witness a shooting star landing somewhere in the magical land of Stormhold, and desperate to prove his love for her, Tristan promises to retrieve the star and bring it to her as a birthday gift.

Ah, the things we do for love…

The star however actually turns out to be another beautiful woman named Yvaine. Apparently, learning that the star was actually a person didn’t seem to faze Tristan one bit, and he uses enchanted rope to tie Yvaine’s hands so he can take her with him:

Tristan: Now, if I’m not mistaken this means you have to come with me. You’re going to be a birthday gift for Victoria, my true love.

Yvaine: But of course! Nothing says “romance” like a kidnapped injured woman!

Too funny. As I watched the movie though, I was reminded of just how truly awful unrequited love can be. I’ve only been in love a handful of times in my life, and yet each time they’ve always been unrequited. I was never good enough for anyone I “loved,” and it broke my heart. If the film showed me anything though, it was that there was something inherently wrong in pursuing after someone who clearly would never reciprocate the same level of love and devotion you had for them. At one point Yvaine confronted Tristan with this uncomfortable truth:

Yvaine: The little I know about love is that it’s unconditional. It’s not something you can buy.

Tristan: Hang on! This wasn’t about me trying to buy her love. This was to prove to her how I felt.

Yvaine: Ah… And what’s she doing to prove how she feels about you?

Tristan: Well… [stares blankly for a moment ] Look Yvaine, you’ll understand when you meet her, all right? If we don’t get murdered by pirates first.

Yvaine: Mmm… Murdered by pirates, heart turned out and eaten, meet Victoria… I can’t quite decide which sounds more fun…

Finally, as Tristan and Yvaine’s initial dislike for each other melted away to reveal true affection, Yvaine declares her love for Tristan in what became my favorite scene in the entire movie:

Yvaine: Yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I’m trying to say, Tristan is… I think I love you. [begins to cry] Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I’d know it for myself. My heart… It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it’s trying to escape because it doesn’t belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts, no goods, no demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

Ah yes, only in a fairy tale could a woman offer a love like that. Meanwhile the rest of us in the real world have to bust our balls just to get the object of our affections to acknowledge our existence. For a beautiful woman to offer her love so freely… man, it’s just not something I’ve ever experienced, and there are times I wonder if it’s even still possible to find in this cold, cruel, materialistic world we live in. I can only hope the bitterness borne out of a heart that’s been broken so many times before won’t blind me to the day when a star of my very own might cross my path, willing to love me just as unconditionally.

If I were to be perfectly fair, there really is much to be thankful for. I have a roof over my head, food on the table, a stable job, a loving family, and a smokin’ ride.

But I always have a tendency to focus on the negative. I get reminded of all the disappointments of life, all the unanswered prayers, all the times when it feels like God left me here to rot, and I get angry instead. I’m upset that I have to spend yet another Thanksgiving without knowing who the love of my life is, if she even exists. Upset that once I go into work next Monday I may have to gear up for another fight with my union and the department I work for, with no resolution in sight. Upset that my health may never get better, and that I foolishly put myself at risk for life threatening diseases. Upset that no matter how hard I try, my blog doesn’t appear to be getting any traction. Upset that my career prospects are quickly going down the toilet.

So yeah, while there may be some things to be thankful for, there are plenty more reasons for me to remain an ungrateful bastard.

But for whatever reason, I trudge onward with hope. There are times when I really despair, but even in my darkest moments I always dream of a better future. I always hope.

So, if there was one thing I should be thankful to God for above all else, I guess it would be hope. I hope that the present darkness will lead to morning light. I hope that I will someday soon meet my true love. I hope for a better future for both my family and those who remain stedfast in their faith in Christ, even in trying times. I hope for the safety of our troops and their speedy return. I hope peace will continue to reign in the hearts of all my dear friends.

I hope.

A recent posting by the Ignoble Experiment got me thinking about a Disney favorite of mine, Beauty and the Beast. Back in the days when Disney was still making animated films that were actually good, they churned out this beauty (no pun intended), a story that centered around redemption and true love. I was too young to fully appreciate the movie when it first came out, but in subsequent years, I began to see myself in the Beast. The years had made me bitter and angry, harboring a quiet rage against a world that I felt did me serious wrong, just like the Beast. Some of it I brought on myself though, I admit, just as the Beast was in no small part responsible for his own misery. And yet part of that rage had to have no doubt been fueled by the despair that he would never be freed from his curse, as each petal that dropped from the flower brought him ever closer to his doom. It took the love of a caring, gentle soul to bring him back, a woman who taught him how to love again, despite his imperfections and grotesque appearance.

A gentle, caring girl, willing to get past looks and appearances so she can see the wounded man behind the beastly image? Yep, quite obviously a fairy tale. If you think this does indeed happen in the real world, then you my friend live in a fairy tale of your own.

This is one of my pet peeves about women too. They complain about guys being shallow and dating on looks alone, and then claim the higher ground by insisting that they NEVER do that. Nope, it’s a guy’s inner qualities that attracts them. It’s the damnedest, most hypocritical crap I’ve ever heard come out of their filthy, lying mouths.

Honestly, the mass of women today have proven themselves to be the shallowest, calculating, back stabbing, most judgmental heartless gobs of human flesh to have ever graced this planet. They will pass eternal judgment on you based on nothing more than the color shoes you’re wearing. They stare right through you as if you were nothing but a ghostly apparition they can barely see, refuse to say thank you when you hold the door for them, and only feign interest in you when they want something. God may have created Adam, but it was Satan who created Eve.

This mass of self interested, self indulgent whores of Babylon have made finding that gem of a woman who really is a cut above the rest virtually impossible. There’s little doubt even if I could find one, she would be taken aback at my beastly rage. Would she be able to get past that? Past the imperfections, the open wounds that cause me such most perpetual pain and grief? Will she be the Belle to my Beast?

Who am I kidding, she obviously doesn’t exist. And unlike the Beast, who found redemption and a happy ending, I can feel the last petal beginning to slip through my fingers, as a lifetime of unredeemable rage awaits me. Alas, in real life, there will be no Belle to save me.