Tragedy | The Habitation of Justice

With 9/11, Comes Regret

Lincoln Adams | September 11, 2008 @ 12:09 am

After the first plane hit the tower I was caught with my pants down. Literally. I had been sleeping and woke up late, lazily waddling over to the computer with my pants around my ankles to check my email. I had gotten a few news items in my inbox about a plane hitting the World Trade Center, so I put on the TV just in time to see a live feed of the second plane hitting the tower.

That’s when I knew, beyond belief, that it had been deliberate.

I called my mother and we chattered excitably over what just occurred, then called my then best friend, worried that he may have been at the WTC today with his girlfriend (who had a job interview there,) but thankfully it had been cancelled and he was safely uptown.

Reflecting on the day, the worst thing I can remember was the feeling of being incapacitated. I didn’t have my own car, I had to go into work, and yet this monstrous thing was unfolding before my eyes, begging for a response.

The only response I could muster though was to go to work like everyone else did. Even with this happening, work still had a sense of normalcy to it that drove me half mad. I didn’t want to stay there. I wanted to go out there amidst the carnage and DO SOMETHING.

But I didn’t. I took in phone calls, performed my work duties, and twiddled my thumbs.

Even in the days that followed, when I was able to get closer and watch the smoke ascend from the destruction as I passed over the George Washington Bridge, I still didn’t get involved as much as I wanted to. For some reason I felt I could only watch, and that I was just too disabled, too scatter brained and too selfish to be of much use in helping with the recovery effort.

Looking back, I can tell you one thing: that’s NEVER going to happen again.

Whatever disaster or calamity should strike us, I want to be there. Whether it’s the fires of California, the flooding of Iowa or the hurricanes of New Orleans, I want to be there to chip in and do my part. And I won’t care about losing time off from work, or that I’m putting myself in danger, or that I’m not simply not smart or strong enough to be of any use to anybody.

I’m done with selling myself short. I’m done with walking on eggshells when it comes to my life. I no longer want to be the bystander. Now I want to be the doer.

In a way that falls in line with the dream I’ve had ever since I started taking blogging seriously. I didn’t want the anchor of a dead-end job forcing me to be stuck in one spot while a nation in distress called for my help.

Really, more than anything, I just want to get out of this shell of mine and start living again, and by freeing myself, I would be free to help those in need as well.

That day will come soon. I only wish though that it had come on 9/11.

Tags: 9/11, blogging, charity, living, regret, remembrance, tragedy, world trade center, WTC
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log

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Comforting a Friend in Need

Lincoln Adams | October 1, 2007 @ 6:40 pm

Mickey walked into work today, and I saw right away that he was in tremendous pain. He looked at me with grief stricken eyes.

“Awww, come here.” I went and put my arms around him. No longer able to contain his emotions, he held me tightly and broke down crying.

“There, there, everything’s gonna be ok. Don’t you worry now.”

“…..why????” He said between sobs. “WHY????”

“It’s ok, everything’s gonna be ok.” I hummed a gentle lullaby to calm him down. “Doo doo dooo doooooo dooo…..”

So why was Mickey in such awful pain? Because, dear readers, my coworker… is a New York Mets fan.

Tags: baseball, collapse, comfort, coworkers, dear readers, emotions, funny, grief, humor, lullaby, mets fan, new york mets, sobs, sorrow, tragedy
Categories: Comic Relief

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Where Ribbons Fail

Lincoln Adams | April 18, 2007 @ 9:43 pm

I’ve been so bombarded with the aggravation I’ve been getting at work that I haven’t been able to take a moment to weigh in on the Virginia Tech shootings until now.

What can someone say, really, to such a senseless act? What factors could drive someone so far over the edge that he would meticulously plan a rampage that involved murdering innocent people, many of who probably didn’t even know him? After all, the pain and suffering he evidently experienced is something we all go through in life. I have certainly felt divorced and disconnected from the world, unloved and unwanted, but something like that would make me want to take a nice long nap on the train tracks, not go and shoot innocent people up.

I have to admit I’m a little annoyed by the collective response to this tragedy though, which reveals some of the deeper problems I believe ails our society. When a tragedy like this happens, we usually see candlelight vigils, rallies, and of course, those ever popular ribbon campaigns, all of which seem to serve no other purpose than to demonstrate how much we care (Ooooh, look at me, look at me, I’m wearing an orange ribbon, which means I’m a wonderful, caring person who actually gives a hoot!) There has even been a call for a day of silence where bloggers and commentators alike are encouraged to refrain from blogging, or commenting on blogs for 24 hours.

This always struck me as a rather self-indulgent, Hollywood way to convey sympathy to those who have lost loved ones so shockingly and tragically, even if it had been done with only the purest of intentions. But more notably, it runs contrary to what Christ taught us through Scripture on how our works of charity ought to be made. We are admonished by Him to do such works as secretly as possible, which would prove to ourselves (and to God) that such acts of kindness are not made with the desire to garner favor from others, but out of a genuine love and concern for others. That’s why I tend to see these public shows of support as the equivalent of what the hypocrites Jesus spoke of did, who loved to sound the trumpets and wait for a crowd to gather before they performed their good deeds.

It’s not to say these public rallies have no place at all, but I do think they’ve become embarassingly overemphasized in today’s day and age. That much was evident to me when I noticed the scarcity of sites that were offering drives to donate monies to the victims’ families (to pay for funerals, counseling, memorials, etc.). I only managed to find one so far, but there may be others as well. If you’re interested in donating, the school has created a memorial fund here:

Virginia Tech Memorial Fund

Tags: acts of kindness, aggravation, ails, bloggers, blogging, christ, commentators, day of silence, donate, donations, fund, giving, glory, hoot, hypocrisy, nap, pain, rallies, rampage, ribbons, Scripture, shootings, silence, suffering, suicide, tragedy, unloved, vigils, Virginia Tech, virginia tech shootings
Categories: News Fit To Blog

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