Dropped by the local 7-11 for a Big Gulp containing the usual 5 different flavors of soda, when I’m hearing one of the store managers singing “Feliz Navidad.”

“Awww man, please don’t sing that.”

He looked up.  “You no like song?”

“I hate it with every frickin’ fiber of my being.”

He just shrugged and went back to cleaning.  I went up to the cash register and dug out my wallet when the cash register starting singing the same song.

“Dude.  Seriously.”

“Don’t like song?”

“I think this is what they play in hell this time of year.  I swear this song was designed to mock the birth of Christ, and it’s not even in frickin’ English.  I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT.”

“You sound upset, yes?”

I sighed.  “I’m having a bad month.”  I dropped the change into their charity box.

“Happy Thanksgiving.”

“She’s still here Linc.”

I blinked a few times. “Are you @#$% kidding me?”

“I kid you not.”

I hung up my cell and threw it across the room. The woman almost drew a gun on my relative (who also works the same job), and they expect me to work in the same section as her???

3 weeks of this crap. I called my union. My union thinks I’m the bad guy. But after hounding their fat hairy asscans for days on end, they finally talked to the bigwigs and my union rep assured me she would be moved out the day after Thanksgiving.

She lied right to my face. Motherfrick useless union whore. I called her cell and left an urgent message, but of course she never called back.

Well that’s it then. I donned my uniform, grabbed my audio recorder and headed out the door. I was going to make a visit to the Commissioner’s office and see the big man himself. I had enough.

After I pulled up alongside headquarters, I took a long, deep breath. In seven years I had never gone in to see the Commissioner. Hell I didn’t even know what his office looked like, but I would soon find out now. Rather appropriately, the commish’s office was at the end of a long hallway on the second floor, and as I walked that last mile, I knew I was putting my job on the line. I was going over the heads of all my bosses and bypassing my union altogether. I paused for a few seconds outside the door, trying to gather myself and keep myself from visibly shaking. I prayed hard and asked God to watch over me.

And then stepped inside.

The comely Rachel from Just Something to Think About tagged me up with a Giving Thanks Meme, and while Thanksgiving has already come and gone, I guess I can reiterate some of the things I’ve been thankful for. Here’s my top five:

1. Being alive, which is solid proof that God still doesn’t hate me enough to lob a meteorite in my general direction. And of course my loving parents, who only occasionally regret not giving me up for adoption.

2. Being so good looking.

3. Pizza!!!!!!!!!!!

4. Fall Foliage.

5. That Jessica Alba is still single.

I’d pass this on to 5 other blogging friends but I’m just too lazy today. Besides I only counted 3 or 4 altogether that I could consider my friends. Gees, that’s actually kinda sad.

If I were to be perfectly fair, there really is much to be thankful for. I have a roof over my head, food on the table, a stable job, a loving family, and a smokin’ ride.

But I always have a tendency to focus on the negative. I get reminded of all the disappointments of life, all the unanswered prayers, all the times when it feels like God left me here to rot, and I get angry instead. I’m upset that I have to spend yet another Thanksgiving without knowing who the love of my life is, if she even exists. Upset that once I go into work next Monday I may have to gear up for another fight with my union and the department I work for, with no resolution in sight. Upset that my health may never get better, and that I foolishly put myself at risk for life threatening diseases. Upset that no matter how hard I try, my blog doesn’t appear to be getting any traction. Upset that my career prospects are quickly going down the toilet.

So yeah, while there may be some things to be thankful for, there are plenty more reasons for me to remain an ungrateful bastard.

But for whatever reason, I trudge onward with hope. There are times when I really despair, but even in my darkest moments I always dream of a better future. I always hope.

So, if there was one thing I should be thankful to God for above all else, I guess it would be hope. I hope that the present darkness will lead to morning light. I hope that I will someday soon meet my true love. I hope for a better future for both my family and those who remain stedfast in their faith in Christ, even in trying times. I hope for the safety of our troops and their speedy return. I hope peace will continue to reign in the hearts of all my dear friends.

I hope.

“Every Thanksgiving, over 80 million Americans get together to be with their families…. and wonder why.”

This time of year used to get on my nerves for the longest time. Because I no longer have a social network of family or friends, Thanksgiving would usually find me twiddling my thumbs or climbing the walls out of sheer boredom.

A long time ago, when I used to have a family, we would often get together at my grandfather’s house for a feast of the ages. I remember aunts, uncles, friends of the family, ad infinitum coming from all over to celebrate and toast the occasion.

But I also remembered the arguments too. And the fights. And the screaming. Thanksgiving, instead of being a time of reflection and giving thanks for what we had, instead became a poorly scripted soap opera. There was contention, strife, envying, bitterness and genuine hatred all around.

But then one day, my family went away, and with it all the aggravation and grief that came with it. Thanksgiving, though often a dull occasion for the last few years, was at least a QUIET and PEACEFUL occasion.

Upon reflection, it seems I do have much to be thankful for after all. Thankful for a good job, a warm home, a beautiful car, many material blessings (including my smokin’ sweet laptop), and of course the blessing of no longer having to deal with a family of relatives that brought me nothing but grief and pain.

This year, I’m thankful above all for hope: hope for a better future, the prospects of a new career, and of perhaps finally meeting my one true soulmate (preferably a woman).