So now that we’ve elected a mini-me version of the Antichrist, I think it’s high time I finally start working to move to a town that’s right for me.  A town that’ll keep me movin’ and keep me groovin’ with some energy. 

Even though I talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it…  I gotta move on. 

Seriously, I gotta move on.

Right now I’m going over which states might offer the best prospects, and I’m starting off with three basic requirements: the state should have no income tax, the gun laws should be flexible, and it should have lopsidedly voted against the communist demon of the underworld in the last election.

So far I have 5 options:

• Wyoming
• Alaska
• Tennessee
• Texas
• South Dakota

Climate and terrain wise I would prefer to live where there’s mountains and temperate seasons (the most important being autumn) AND little humidity.  VERY little humidity.  Seriously, there’s a reason why I refer to humidity as “Satan’s Breath.”  Just… no.

That puts Tennessee at the top for now, especially the eastern part where the Appalachian/Smokey Mountain range begins.  And since it’s the closest I’d be able to put together a road trip to visit the area and check it out.  The only remaining question is being able to find a job.  I have a background in computers and government and finished my undergraduate education a ways back, so I should be good for something besides shoveling horse manure, right?  What do you think?  Or should I try for another state?

As for the others, I like Wyoming because it has the Rockies, but again the problem is jobs, and it’s also out of driving reach.  I’d have to either fly or do a cross country trip just to scout the state.  Same deal with Alaska (as much as the thought of being near Sarah Palin thrills me), and the other 2 states, Texas and South Dakota.

If I remove the “no state income tax” requirement however, I have a few more options:

• Idaho
• Utah
• Oklahoma
• Nebraska
• Kansas
• Arkansas
• Louisiana
• Mississippi
• Alabama
• Kentucky
• West Virginia

I would drop all of the southern states because of the humidity and lack of mountains, but I hear the girls are so smokin’ hot in places like Alabama and Mississippi that I just have to keep these states on the list for now. 

Idaho and Utah might be good options, but I don’t particularly care for the high Mormon demographic.  It’s not that I hate Mormons or anything, I just can’t stand them.  Kansas and Nebraska have no mountains and seem boring overall, while Oklahoma might be too humid.  West Virginia is on the list, but I drove through the entire state once and the scenery was just awful.  Kentucky might be the best choice so far all things considered, but still, I have very little intel about any of these states frankly, which is why I’d like to visit them and see for myself.

In the meantime, what do you think is my best bet?  Let me know in the comments.  I’ll also include a poll too, because I’m awesome like that. 

Help me find my Funkytown!

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