Whoever thought tags was a wonderful idea for blogging and everything else on the internet should be shot, strung up, skinned, then burned alive.

It’s getting to that I can’t even talk on the phone anymore without thinking up tags to describe the conversation I’m having.

You know, back in the days before dweebie sites like Technorati existed, I used to actually have fun blogging. And then I discovered a few tagging plugins and thought, “Neato, now I can add tags to my blog and give myself a much needed SEO boost! After all, that’s what all the blogging experts are saying!”

Memo to self: Blogging experts are evil bastards who work for Satan and give us bad ass tips on purpose so they can maintain their status as a-list bloggers, while the rest of us continue to trudge around in internet obscurity. Of this I am now utterly convinced.

Because now, instead of being able to just fire off a quick post while I’m in the moment, I have to think up appropriate tags for it as well. Now I absolutely dread to blog because I know sooner or later, I’m gonna have to tag what I wrote.

“Is this tag too generic, or too specific? Did I use too many tags for this post, or not enough? How many synonyms should I use? Was this tag descriptive enough? Is Google gonna hurt me bad because I’m tag bloating my blog?”

I’m ready to reach into my backend here and rip out the plugins powering my tags with my bare hands, but ironically enough a good portion of my traffic comes via my tags archives, so I’m stuck with them for the time being.

Oh man, I’m finished with this post now, so you know what’s coming next. Mommy hold me please.

Ok, ok… deep breath here… deeeeep breath… here we go…