So I’m at the supermarket, slowly pushing my cart around and filling it up with my usual single man’s diet of Ramen Noodles and diet sodas. A twinge of sadness creeps over me as I pass through each aisle on my way to the checkout.

And then I noticed her.

She was a petite brunette, her long, thick hair tied back and bouncing gently off her shoulders. She had the prettiest doe shaped eyes I had ever seen, eyes that were currently scanning for items in the frozen food section. As she moved, she moved with a feminine grace, occasionally pushing back a lock of escaped hair with her fingers, as her pouty lips formed in a frown of someone who hadn’t found what she was looking for yet.

I had to tear my eyes away from gawking, but I could not stop looking at her. She was a complete stranger, and yet I wanted desperately, DESPERATELY to talk to her. Do I throw caution in the wind, and finally take the chance, or do I do what I have always done, which was steal occasional looks where I could without getting noticed, until I finally give up and with a heavy sigh check out my groceries, leave the store and go cry in my car for a few hours?

Frick it.

I walked up to her as slowly and casually as I could, completely terrified with my stomach in a vice-like knot. Suddenly, I was right next to her, pretending to scan for frozen foods but unable to see anything except her.

She noticed me and glanced my way, then went back to looking. Was that a smile?

I opened my mouth and started to speak, hoping to at least get the words out before stammering or stuttering.

“Um, hi.” I smiled.

She looked over at me again, her manner polite, but guarded. “Hi.”

“Listen, I’m sorry to bother you, but I just happened to notice you before and I was so floored by how beautiful you are that I just had to come to talk to you. I know I’m a stranger and all, but I would have regretted it deeply if I didn’t at least take the chance to say hello.”

“Oh…” She didn’t say anything for a moment as she processed what I had just said. Ah man, she thinks I’m a creep now. I knew it.

“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you, I’ll leave you alone now.”

“No, it’s ok, I’m just… a little flattered.” She smiled sheepishly.

“Well listen, I’m just happy you didn’t scream or anything! Oh, I’m Lincoln.”

“I’m Sharon.” We shook hands.

“Ok, um, I think I broke the ice here, so… what do I do now?”

She smiled again. “Well, you could invite me out for coffee?”

“Oh! That sounds good, I love coffee, I drink it every day and stuff! Coffee’s great! I love coffee!”

She started giggling. “Ok, coffee it is.”

I thought quickly. “Ok, there’s a Starbucks just down the street, it’s as good a place as any. We could meet up there later if you’d like.”

“Sure, I just need to drop off my groceries at my place, and I can meet you there, say 3 o’ clock?”

“Awesome, honestly you really made my day.”

She smiled again. “You’re sweet. 3 o’ clock it is then. Oh, and it’s Lincoln, right?”

“Right.”

“Lincoln?”

“Yes?”

“LINCOLN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The booming voice startled me, and suddenly I was at my desk at work again. It was my coworker.

“What..?” I asked, still in a daze.

“The phone’s ringing, get it please.”

Sigh. I picked up the phone. “Linc speaking.”

Tags: brunette, coworker, daydreaming, fantasy, groceries, romance, single, smile, starbucks, supermarket
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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There are a few things I am superbly good at making in the kitchen: pasta, pizza, and… that’s it.

I’ve been living the kind of oddball lifestyle where for six years at least, I didn’t even have an oven I could use to make food. I have one now but I still haven’t made use of it. I had more important things to do see, like surfing the internet and tinkering around my blog.

And because I had the tendency to get up say, 20 minutes after I was supposed to be at work, my breakfast would consist of a mad dash to 7-11 for coffee and a quick stopover to Wendy’s drive-thru for a “breakfast”, then doing Warp 10 on the expressway while I stuffed my face in with chicken nuggets to the tune of “Eye of the Tiger.”

And since my job requires me to work till late at night, I have to eat my dinner there as well, either utilizing the 300 year old microwave they have and the conventional oven that was once used as a restroom area for mice, or I could run down to the nearest supermarket/take-out/pizzeria and pick out a gourmet meal for myself.

As you might imagine, this isn’t exactly the healthiest way to live (not to mention it’s EXPENSIVE), so in order to establish a healthier routine for myself and save money, I have to learn to really cook again.

I just wish I didn’t get so lost when I read recipes sometimes. I don’t even know what an avocado is. I mean really, what the flip is this thing??? It looks like an egg from the movie Alien for bloody sakes. Homey ain’t touching that!

Then there’s the weird instructions like “…pound one strip of boneless chicken breast to 1/4 inch thickness.” Huh? So I gotta get a hammer out of the shed now and beat this thing like he owe me money?

I HATE following detailed, complex instructions. It slows me down, and I’m the kinda guy who either needs to have it given to him straight, or I end up bending the rules and pushing the envelope. Why can’t I just throw stuff together, toss it in the oven, and see if it bakes, for reals? That’s how I do pizza after all, and I haven’t burned down any buildings yet.

But, whatevers. Today I’m gonna have to do some honest to goodness grocery shopping, and can only hope I manage to throw together enough meals to last me the rest of the week, else you’ll find me running to Papa Mia for another emergency fix again.

Tags: breakfast, cooking, dinner, food, grocery, health, lifestyle, meal, pizza, shopping, supermarket, take-out
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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I did a short groceries run at the supermarket today for some cold cuts and bagels, then skipped over to the drinks section.

Let’s see, Pepsi Max… Pepsi Max… Pepsi Max… ah here we go…

I grabbed a couple of bottles and just happened to look to my left when I saw a pretty girl looking right at me, and smiling.  She had long flowing, dark auburn hair and a cute Irish look about her, her cart holding a baby carriage that was obviously not empty judging from the cooing sounds I heard.

So naturally I did what I always do when I see a very pretty looking girl smiling ever so sweetly in my general direction:  I looked behind me.  There was no one around.

“Wow, she really was smiling at me…”  I turned back again, but she was already gone.

Sigh.

Let’s see, Mountain Dew… Mountain Dew… Mountain Dew… ah here we go…

Tags: bagels, cold cuts, cute, drinks, groceries, irish, mountain dew, pepsi, pepsi max, pretty, pretty girl, supermarket
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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I paid off my car loan!      

2 down, 1 to go!  I paid off my credit card last July, so all the remains now is my college loan, which at my current pace should be paid off this 4th of July, of all days. 

I learned a few things today too.  For one, withdrawing a few hundred bucks from an ATM machine is not quite as easy as you might think.  My tax return was finally deposited into my account yesterday, but the account that held my car loan was with a different bank, so I needed to deposit part of my tax return into that account so I could pay off my loan in its entirety.  I figured no problem though, I’ll just hit up the ATM for a few hundred and be on my way.

First I went to the local gas station where their ATM doesn’t give me lame surcharges.  I cheerily walked in, took out my card and…

“Out of Service.  Please come back another time.”

Of course…

So I went to a 7-11 and used the ATM there.

“Withdrawal request exceeds allotted funds.  Please try again.”

For the love of… ok, I’m sure by now you’re thinking why I didn’t just go to my bank directly and make the withdrawal there.  The bank was 20 miles away, and a trip there and back would lose me an hour at least.  By the time I got to the other bank holding my car loan it’d be closed, and I REALLY wanted to get this over with now.

So I took the maximum amount of cash the ATM could dish out, which was $400, then drove to another ATM.  This time I could only withdraw $100.  I withdrew that amount, then swiped my card again to make another withdrawal.

“We’re sorry, you have exceeded the daily limit of withdrawals that can be made.  Please try again tomorrow.”

Huh? 

I tried it again.

“We’re sorry, you have exceeded the daily limit of withdrawals that can be made.  Please try again tomorrow.”

I just stood there, trying to figure out what to do next.  I was still a $100 short, and I needed to find some other way to get it.  Ooooh I know, I’ll use my credit card!  I could pay the difference when I got home too.  Easy peachy!  So I swiped my credit card.

“Please enter your pin number.”

Pin number?  Oh crap.  I had forgotten what it was.  Let’s see, I think it was 1-2-3-4.

“Incorrect PIN number.  Please try again.”

@#$%^!!!

Ok, ok, let me think here, how else can I get cash without using the ATM… … …

Cashbacks!!

I quickly ran into another 7-11 and bought myself coffee.  Swiped my card at the register and waited for the cashback screen to show up:

“Cashback amount?”

I inputted $100, then waited, confident and enjoying my coffee.

“You may only withdraw a maximum of $10.”

Dude… why?

“Is everything alright, sir?”

“Could I like, get some money from your register?”

The cashier stood there wide-eyed.

“No no no, I mean the cashback here only goes up to, you know… uh,  I didn’t mean…, I’ll just take my coffee now.”  I quickly walked out.

Alright, what now…  I vaguely remembered being able to get more than $40 cashback from the supermarket, so I figured my best bet would be there.  I drove a few miles to a nice big honking supermarket and went inside.

Only one thing was going to make all this aggravation worth it.  Bagels!  I bought myself a few whole wheats and some cappy ham, then quickly went to the self check-out.  Swiped the card again, said a little prayer and inputted $100.

“Card Approved.”

YES!  Finally!  The machine started dispensing my $100… in 5 dollar bills, and of course, it had to be one of those nuclear powered cash dispensers where gobs of 5 dollar bills went flying out like a winning slot machine.  I frantically picked up the cash, counted it to make sure I had it all, then hauled heinie out of there.

At long last, after what had to be 5 or 6 stops (I lost count) of putting together the cash I needed, I stopped by my bank and proudly slapped down the money.

“I’d like to pay off my car loan please.”  I smiled broadly.

They gave me a receipt and that was it.  I got into my beautiful ride and took a deep breath.

“Finally, you’re all mine.”  I turned the ignition and sighed happily.

*click*

Ha, just kidding, it started up fine. 

I have to tell you though, during the drive home it seemed like the whole world was literally aiming at my car, almost as if they all knew it had just been paid off too.  Oy.

But finally, FINALLY, this headache was now over with, and with all that behind me my college loan was the only thing left that stood between me and becoming completely debt free.

I can’t wait! 

Tags: atm machine, bank, car loan, cash, cashback, college loan, credit card, debt, financial, independence, money, supermarket, tax return
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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Why must my favorite supermarket stock different items at different locations even though the distance between these locations is only a few short miles?

Case in point:  I want a store brand diet cream soda.  Store A has it, but Store B doesn’t.  I also want Chips Ahoy Chunky Chocolate Chip Cookies, which Store B has in stock but Store A doesn’t.  So in order to get the all the grocery items I want, I have to go to both stores.

What a load of crap.  And then the worst of it is when I want to get a few cases of my favorite Snapple drink, Diet Lemonade-Iced Tea, which my supermarket doesn’t stock at ALL.  There’s only one market in town that does, and of course they just HAD to be in Ghetto-We-Shoot-White-People-For-Fun-Ville.  Still, I love this Snapple flavor enough to risk dodging molotov cocktails just to grab a few, and besides, after you’ve stepped over enough chalked outlines of dead bodies and broken glass as you make your way to Aisle Number 5, you kinda get used to it after a while.

Still it’d be really nice if just ONE supermarket could stock ALL the grocery items I buy on a regular basis.  Is that really too much to ask?  Stupid economy.

Tags: chocolate chip cookies, ghetto, groceries, grocery, shopping, snapple, supermarket
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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I’m getting a little tired these days of stopping by Blockbuster and looking up and down and left to right for movies they never have, not to mention having to put up with adorable looking couples sassing each other and being so happy together that I just want to start lobbing DVD boxes at them for daring to pollute my air with their irritating public displays of affection.  Just die, please.

Truth be told though, I rarely go to Blockbuster nowadays, opting instead to grab up DVDs at my supermarket, which has a Redbox Machine.  But even that’s become an aggravating chore lately.  Nothing quite puts me in the mood to wreak death and destruction upon mankind then having to wait behind somebody who takes their sweeeeeeeeeeeeet ass time checking the Redbox listings while I loudly tap my foot and check my watch, knowing I’ll have to pay a dollar more if I can’t jam my DVD back in there within the next three minutes.

“BITCH GET THE F*&^ OUT OF THE WAY I GOT TO RETURN THIS THING BEFORE 9PM CAN”T YOU SEE THAT DAMMIT TO HELL!?!?!”

So yeah, I think RedBox has pretty much lost its appeal as well.  Solution?  Netflix!!

But as I surfed the site and prepared to sign up, a thought occurred to me:  am I being too antisocial here?

It seems the more I go out there and run into the scum sucking, methane ripping porkbags otherwise known as the human race, the more I want to stay home and have everything including my groceries mail-ordered to me instead.  Then I can just hide under the bed with my laptop and my Tostitos and play Nancy Drew games until the end of the world comes, which should be oh, shortly after people realize the bailout didn’t do zippy dinks to save the economy and The Great Depression Part 2:  Obama Takes Us To Hell officially gets under way.

But then I think, perhaps I’m being too harsh here?  That maybe, just maybe, with a sincere effort to go out there and connect with other human beings I’d end up finding some who are not so rudely vile and disgusting after all, and maybe even attract a nice girl for once in my life?

Nah.  Indiana Jones first ever DVD in my Netflix queue baby!!  BOOYAH!   Now where are my Tostitos…

Tags: bailout, blockbuster, couples, dvds, economy, indiana jones, mankind, movies, Nancy Drew, Netflix, people, Redbox, supermarket, tostitos, world
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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