I’m surrounded by idiots at my job, and they’re really beginning to wear me out.

It’s not that have anything against them, it’s just that they’re… well… idiots.

I can’t even have a conversation about the weather without it somehow flying right over their heads as they give me one of those trademark blank stares that tell me they didn’t know what in the hell I just said.

But God forbid you have to work with them, and if you wanna know why I will swear to you that the following conversation is so close to the truth that just to repeat it here makes me want to cry all over again:

Me: “After you’re done with these papers, just place them in the bin here.”

Blank stare.

Me: “Um… just place them right in the bin here, you know, when you’re done?”

Blank stare.

At this point I have no choice but to make like I’m addressing a 4 year old:

Me: “Wheeeeeeeeen you are fiiiiinished with these paaaaaaaaaaaapers (pointing to papers), place them iiiiiiiiiin the biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin heeeeeeeeere. Dooooooo yoooooooou unnnnnnnderstaaaaand?”

Finally its like a little light goes on somewhere in their head and they nod vigorously with understanding. “OOOOOH, sure, no problem!”

Later when I go to sign out for the day I noticed the papers were never put in the bin.

……………………………………………

And honestly, I’ll just stand there looking at this empty bin for like 5 minutes, trying to understand what exactly it is I’ve done in my life that would make God hate me so much.

Sigh.

Tags: blank stares, idiots, job, stupid, stupidity
Categories: In The Coal Mine
 
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One of those “Are you &^%$ing kidding me??” stories for the day:

“A heated debate raged in the Swedish blogosphere on Monday after an eight-year-old boy’s failure to invite two classmates to his birthday party resulted in a complaint filed with parliament.

The policy at the boy’s school in the southern town of Lund was that all children (or all the boys or all the girls) had to be invited to parties when their invitations were handed out in class.

When a teacher noticed that two children had been left out of a party list, she promptly confiscated all the invitations, according to Sydsvenskan.”

I’m so glad my tender self wasn’t living in Sweden during my grade school years. Considering the ratio of bullies-to-friends back in those days was like 50 to 1, my righteous butt-cheeks would have been stomped by 100 bullies right in my own home.

Actually, something like that did happen anyway, one hot summer afternoon when for some reason I was being chased by about 20 angry kids. I pedaled home furiously and managed to make it into my backyard, but they followed me in anyway. We had a pool, and when they saw my parents weren’t responding even though I was screaming at the top of my lungs for help, they decided to toss me in.

This was after my parents had drained the pool of all water too.

So I ended up lying there in the sand for a while, moaning and groaning and wondering why my life sucked so bad.

Ahhhh, memories.

Tags: birthday, bullies, childhood, stupidity, sweden
Categories: News Fit To Blog
 
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After I hauled my sleep deprived body out the door for work, I stopped by the drive thru at Wendy’s to grab some grub on the way. I started making my selection and then began wondering why they couldn’t seem to hear my order. Then I saw the reason why: I had pulled up in front of a trash bin and mistakenly thought it was the intercom.

Whoops.

You know it’s stupidity like that that reminds me of why I can’t get a woman. Who wants to be with an idiot like me? That’s why I’m banking on the sympathy factor, in the hopes that I will find someone who will feel so bad for me that they decide to stay with me just out of pity.

Well a guy can dream at least.

Tags: drive thru, insomnia, pity, sleep, stupidity, sympathy, women
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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Law school claims to suck up more than 50-60 hours a week of your time. And yet somehow, some way, students find the time to run for positions in the SGA (Student Government Association). Why? Is it the allure of possibly having the label President, Vice President, Treasurer or Secretary (ok maybe not Secretary) affixed to your name? I got news for you: being the President of an SGA is about as prestiguous as being the President of the chess club where you’re the only member. It may have been cute in high school, and perhaps even useful too, since it gave the nerds something to do while the real men went out and played football, but this is law school now. Grow the @#$% up already.

Tags: allure, chess, chess club, immature, law school, legal education, nerds, real men, sga, student government association, stupidity, vice president
Categories: Legally Speaking
 
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Yep, we’re smarter, deal with it.

Update: Uhhhh, then again, maybe not:

Recently, a blogger named Simon Owens ran a social experiment on Craigslist. He wandered into the “Casual Encounters” section of the personal ads where countless men and women were soliciting for no-strings-attached {chicken dances} and wondered, Is it really that easy? As a test, he composed several ads with different permutations of assumed identity and orientation…. He then posted it to New York, Chicago, and Houston, and tallied the results.

Overwhelmingly and instantly, the ads from the fake women looking for male partners were inundated with responses, sometimes several per minute. All the other ads received lukewarm responses, at best. These results weren’t surprising, but some of the observations were… Many of these men used their real names and included personally identifiable information, including work email addresses and home phone numbers. Several admitted they were married and cheating on their spouses. Many included photos, {often in their birthday suits.}

As the Orbit White gal would say: Brilliant!

I didn’t link to the original post because the links that followed were quite graphic and disgusting. And here I thought my posting a profile on eHarmony was pathetic. Nyet, nyet.

Tags: birthday suits, blogger, brains, craigslist, dances, intelligence, men, men and women, orbit, orientation, permutations, Photos, real names, smarter, smile, stupidity, women, women suck, york chicago
Categories: News Fit To Blog
 
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I earlier professed my love for Michelle Malkin, but I think I can make some room for Ann Coulter too, especially after reading a recent article about her where she talks about her faith and religion in general. This is a woman who might arguably be the most hated and most villified commentator in contemporary politics today. I’ve never seen anyone who could provoke the most violent of reactions with merely a spoken or written word as she’s been able to do, time and time again.

I think Miss Coulter is of the breed who say out loud what many people only think, but who’d never dare make their true feelings known mainly because they’re spineless weenies who just want everybody to like them. They’re the sort that would cry into their pillows at night if their social network suffered somewhat because they managed to express a point of view that not everyone might agree with.

But not my Annie. If there was anyone in public life whose personality most closely mirrored my own, it’d be her. A lot of people think she is just a self promoting bomb thrower who doesn’t believe half of what she writes (or says), but if she’s anything like me, then I think her drive and belief system is based mostly on the personality of a woman who has an unusually low tolerance for stupidity and bull@#$%. I might also add that if her talent for hurling outrageous invective (which for many has the analogous effect of fingernails on a chalkboard) has also proven to be a profitable one, then I say, good for her.

But it’s not so much her feisty manner and fiery tongue that I find so endearing. Rather, it’s her ability to withstand the brutally and completely unhinged venom she evokes from her critics. From magazines calling for Coulter to go kill herself, to late night talk show hosts suggesting that she get fixed up with O.J., the attacks against her are relentless, obscene, and downright hypocritical, especially when one of their many gripes with Ann Coulter is that she’s mean spirited (all the while referring to her in coarse 4 letter terms that shall not be repeated here). As thick as one’s skin can be, and despite the belief that she revels in such vitriol, I’m sure being human some of it must get to her.

I wonder if there were times when she tried to be more discreet, or perhaps even exerted a herculean effort to be… well… nice, only to eventually fail and go right back to bashing the wacko liberals for all they’re worth. God knows I’ve tried, and while I think I’ve been more successful at times than Miss Coulter has been, it takes merely some wayward comment from some smarmy liberal to get a rise out of me again, causing me in true Gladiator form to unleash hell in all its fury. Truth be told though, I really don’t want to be this way, and as much as I admire her, I don’t think Miss Coulter should be this way either. Personally, I’d rather just be an amiable guy who can put everyone at ease and be generally liked by all (even if that means having to keep my opinions to myself and basically being a spineless wuss). But it’s just not my style, and I don’t know if it ever will be.

What depresses me is that few people would seem to understand this mentality. As I continue to walk the earth looking for that one true soulmate, I wonder if she’ll be able to understand my personality and why I’m continually enraged by so much of what I see happening in the world today. I know Ann Coulter would understand me. Indeed, she’s one of the very few people out there who I think could. But does that mean my ideal match would be an Ann Coulter clone? God no. I think me being paired up with an Ann Coulter would be more than what the world can take anyway.

Ironically enough, I think the only true remedy in my case is a beauty capable of soothing the savage beast within me. Truth be told, I need a gentle soul who can see past the raging animal persona I present to the world and see me for who I am: a wounded creature that just needs someone to love him.

But since that will never happen, my Ann Coulter psyche will continue to live on. Bring on the moonbats so I may feed upon their rancid carcasses!

Tags: Ann Coulter, annie, belief system, commentator, gripes, hypocrite, invective, lonely, love, Michelle Malkin, personality, pillows, point of view, politics, psychology, pundits, soulmate, stupidity, talk show hosts, venom, weenies, women
Categories: Politics and Poker, Romance and Relationships
 
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