Recently New York had just been ranked for being the unhappiest state in the country. My experience today could certainly tell you why.

Since I live in an apartment complex that assigns one parking space per apartment, it’s only natural that we would have an overflow of cars, most of which have no choice but to park on the side streets. When I first moved here they originally gave me trouble over that, until I went down to town hall and explained my situation. Since they knew who I was (it helps to have a long, sordid history of troublemaking with the government) they ripped up the ticket for me and sent me on my way.

Today though was a slightly different story. I’m out shoveling three cars, the sidewalk and God only knows what else for half the residents here, when I see a code enforcement car slowly moving down the street. He was actually getting out and writing tickets for each car that was parked on the street, all of which belonged to the neighbors. What the…

My car was the last in line since it was parked near the curb, so I had time to go up to the old looking douchebag and start a friendly conversation. Since we lived near a train station, the side streets here could not be used for more than 2 hours parking normally, but they tend to make unofficial exceptions for awesome people like me who have to live in this dumpy neighborhood.

“Hey there, are you writing tickets? Because all these cars belong to residents here.”

“You can’t park here. We have a snow emergency and all cars must be off the street to allow plowing.”

“Really, I wasn’t informed of this.”

“All residents were notified. Please move your car or you will be ticketed.”

“Well that’s obviously not true, since I wasn’t notified. Didn’t get a phone call, mail or anything. Not even a Twitter.”

“I’m sorry I can’t help you. You will have to park your vehicle elsewhere.”

“Dude, there IS no other place to park. Where are people supposed to park their cars now, up their asses?”

“Please do not cause trouble sir, or your car will be towed and the authorities will be contacted.”

“I AM the authorities, numbnut.” I showed him my ID.

He paused at this.

“…there must be some other place for you to park?”

Oh, so NOW we’re gonna be nice about this?

We exchanged a few more words, until finally I opted to move my car and park it, (illegally if you can believe it) in front of a dumpster next to my apartment. The code enforcement dweeb continued to ticket cars, although by this time more people had come out to see what the commotion was about. Before I knew it lots of angry people with heavy shovels had now surrounded the code enforcement guy Heh.

So apparently, the schmuckheads running town hall had issued a snow emergency requiring all vehicles that were along emergency routes to be off the streets, except that evidently, none of us got this notice. Everyone else I spoke to didn’t get a single notice, so to me it would have made much more sense to leave a warning notice on each car, instead of handing out $50 parking tickets like a transit cop drunk on power. But that would have made too much sense. And besides, what liberal scumbag wouldn’t resist a mad grab for more revenues in the midst of a snow storm?

I can’t get out of this state fast enough.

Tags: apartment, cars, code, code enforcement, government, neighbor, neighborhood, neighbors, parked, parking, parking ticket, side streets, snow emergency, snow storm, storm, street, town hall
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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After a round of shooting at the range and seeing Karen, I got thoroughly depressed and decided to take a walk down Little Italy to take my mind off things. Nothing can lift my spirits faster than a chocolate covered cannoli and a slice of Mulberry Street pizza can after all.

I wanted to stash my car somewhere between Little Italy and the Seaport, so I picked a cheap garage just outside of Chinatown and rolled it right in. It was valet parking, so I had to get out and let some weird Hindu looking guy park it for me. I wasn’t sure if I was going to buy a few things or not to take back with me, so I wanted to know if I could get to my car to leave a few things if needed.

“So listen, I might come back here to drop off a few things, but I won’t be leaving just yet. Would I be able to do that?”

“I park car!”

“Yes, well, I just need to know if I’d be able to get to my ride to drop off some stuff I might buy later on.”

“I park car!”

… … …

“Ok, well, thanks for your time.” I made sure my glove compartment was locked up tight. “See you later!”

I have an odd craving to play Tic Tac Toe for some reason.

I walked a block or two and suddenly found myself in a familiar place:

Somewhere in the distance I can hear the DING DING of Law and Order.

How is it that I always wind up here one way or another? Ah well, at least this time I don’t need a lawyer for once.

Yooooooooo hoooooooooo, I hope you're getting my best side this time, darlings! *kissy kissy*

I continued uptown a few blocks until I reached Little Italy. (One thing I’ve always hated about it was just how much Chinatown overshadowed everything. Chinatown is virtually a city unto itself, while Little Italy was basically just a small, weenie street in comparison.) I stopped by the Ferrara Bakery, saw a mini wedding cake I wanted to sample too, until I saw the price tag: $15.

Um yeah, no thanks. I waved to the wise guys sitting in the back and walked back out again. I found another bakery further and got a few chocolate covered cannolis, then made my way back down again for a slice of pizza, and finally started feeling better about things. Finally walked back down to the seaport and hung out there for the rest of the afternoon.

For some reason I always feel at home downtown. Midtown always seems claustrophobic to me, but downtown I feel like I can spread my wings a little and relax more. Maybe it’s the sight of the Brooklyn Bridge and the river that does it. Even City Hall Park has its quiet charm too:

I like lamps.

Sigh, I guess I’m just kind of hoping one day I’ll find a girl who will appreciate these little things as well.

The sun had set and the day was losing its light as I walked back to the garage to pick up my ride and head home. The city had already begun to twinkle its lights, casting its reflection on the water and lighting the way for me, while subtle shades of green and red danced here and there.

The holiday season had finally arrived.

Tags: cannolis, cars, chinatown, city, holiday season, justice, little italy, park, parking, pizza, seaport, street
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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Well actually, it was last night.  Well the night before, whatever.  Anyways, true to my promise, I took a trek out into the great unknown, and right away I knew the night was going to be trouble.  I first made a stop at a gas mart that had a Dunkin’ Donuts, where two Hispanic guys cut in front of me in line, chirping in rapid fire Spanish that quickly reminded me of how much I hated that disgusting language.  I mean really, it’s worse than listening to German.

“Yo, dude-os.  Get-o the #$%^-o out of my way-o.  Comprendo?”

After that unpleasant experience, I made my way onto the highway, right into the billowing smoke of what had to have been a chemical fire that was taking place nearby, because my eyes were watering and my nostrils stunk of burning plastic.  I stopped by a 7-11 (because I never got a chance to get my coffee at Dunkins’, for reasons I best not get into here,) bought some crappy tasting coffee, then got into my car and noticed my engine light was on.

Yep, it was gonna be that kind of night.

So I finally get on the interstate, and I’m trying to understand why the people behind me were driving too fast, while the people in front of me were driving too slow, and this little game of chicken goes on for about 30 minutes or so, until the traffic finally started to break and I could activate my cruise control.  After about a couple of hours driving, I pulled into a shopping center that had a Starbucks so I could get a Gingerbread Latte, only it had closed just a few minutes before.

Yep, it was gonna be that kind of night.

The stores did have lovely Christmas displays though, so I managed to get this nice shot while I brooded in misery:

I pulled into another 7-11 after another 20 minutes of driving, because I wanted, yay, NEEDED, hot chocolate, and of course the machine was broken.

Yep, it was most definitely gonna be that kind of night. 

Things finally started to break my way a little when I came across another 7-11 only 5 minutes after stopping by the first one, and this time they had all the hot chocolate I needed.  I kept on driving past vineyards and whatnot, and started noticing roads with cute names like this one:

Could my dream girl be living here?

My plan was to find a park void of any lights so I could break out my camera and tripod and shoot pictures of the moon and the stars in all their glory.  Of course the one park I could find was closed and locked up.  Sigh.  So here I am, pretty much surrounded by the Atlantic Ocean, and not knowing where the flip to go where I wouldn’t be bothered by the park police or neighborhood patrol or whoever.  I wound up driving into a dead end in a private neighborhood somewhere that took me right up to the beach.  There were no street lights so I figured this was as good a place as any, and I just had to hope the houses nearby didn’t see me and call the cops on me for daring to pollute their existence with my non-luxury vehicle in such close proximity.  I got out and the wind sliced through me like an angry cold mother…

But I was determined, so I broke out my tripod, turned on my car stereo to “Bad Moon Rising,” and managed to take the crappiest night shots of the sky that even a 5 year old could have outdone.  Here’s one of the moon:

I also managed a nightshot of 3 stars that I’m always seeing every time I look at the sky.  I wonder what formation this bright group of three stars belongs to, since they seemed to follow me everywhere:

Here’s a closer view of the three stars I’m referring to:

Anyone know what group this 3 star formation is a part of?

After a while, I finally gave up taking pictures of the night sky and trying to capture any meteor showers that were supposed to be happening that night.  They always seemed to occur right out of the corner of my eye too.  I would notice a streak but by the time I turned my head it was gone.  This shower was more like a drizzle to me, so I tried my hand at taking snapshots of the beach instead.  The lights in the background is that of the Connecticut shoreline:

Here’s another one of a nice big rock that accentuated the view:

Once I started losing feeling in my hands I knew it was about time to go, especially since a light in one of the houses nearby turned on and a dark figure appeared in a window.  With visions of Psycho dancing around in my head, I decided to make a quick exit and hauled my heinie out of there.

The drive back didn’t turn out to be so bad.  There was no traffic and when I filled up for gas on the way back, the engine light went out, so I was finally able to mellow out a bit and enjoy some of the small town scenery I drove through, with their Christmas lights and all.

All in all, it wasn’t the kind of night I wished it could have been, but I’m glad I did it anyway.  It got me out of my apartment, and in a way it served as a trial run for future trips.  If I hadn’t done it, then I would have been left to wonder what kind of celestial show I would have missed because I was too lazy to get myself out there and see for myself.

Hopefully though, the next time there’s a moon out like that there’ll be a glow in my heart, if ya know what I mean.  

There’s a glow in my heart!
Whoa, oh, oh, ooooooh,
I never felt before!

There’s a girl at my side!
Whoa, oh, oh, ooooooh,
That I adore!

There’s a glow in my heart!
I guess it’s because…

There’s a…. moon toiiiiiiiiiiinnnnniiiiiiiiight!

Tags: camera, car, christmas displays, coffee, drive, driving, dunkin donuts, fire, highway, hot chocolate, meteor, meteor shower, moon, night, nightshots, Photos, rock, sky, smoke, star, starbucks, street, traffic, trek
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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My town was throwing a Columbus Day festival this weekend, which included a fireworks show for tonight.  Since I either hated everybody in town or they hated me, I avoided it like the plague.  I still got a chance to see the fireworks though since I was on the second floor and I was able to get a good view of it from my window.

It also gave me a good view of the drug dealers on the street too.

So here I am, just trying to mind my own business and enjoy the fireworks in peace, and there’s a crime in progress happening right underneath me.  God in heaven do I hate this town.

I watched the two scumbag dealers as they got into their black ride and tossed a few bags of “white powder” around, the door and headlights on in the dark of night so all the world could see what a bunch of schmucks they were.  They were getting ready to stoke a few up after what I guess must have been a good night for them, festival and all.

Hmmmmmmmmmm… 

I dialed 911.

“Yeah there’s a couple of guys hashing it up on the apartment grounds here, and I was wondering if you could send somebody over to go ruin their night?”  I gave the operator the location.

“What’s your name, sir?”

“Oh my name?  Sure my name is-”  I hung up.

I waited a few minutes, and eventually decided the cops weren’t going to do anything when a patrol car suddenly pulled up next to the dealers’ car.

What ensued afterwards turned out to be 10 times more fun to watch than the fireworks. 

Tags: apartment, Columbus Day, cop, cops, crime, drug dealer, festival, fireworks, God, patrol car, street, town
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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I live on an apartment complex that assigns you one parking space per unit (which makes perfect sense since everybody and their mother around here owns at least two cars). Additionally, the town in its eternal wisdom has decreed that no car can be parked on any of the streets adjacent to the apartment complex for more than 4 hours. “F”-ing brilliant. Quite naturally as a result, parking has become a bit of an issue. When I first moved here, I figured I could pull a fast one when parking on the side streets by putting a police decal on my dashboard, indicating that I was on “official police business.” Since that’s what I actually use my car for when I’m working, it wasn’t really that far off the mark.

Nope, they ticketed my horse anyway. So much for camaraderie, fricking uptight code enforcement dweebs.

The funny thing however was that I managed to get the ticket torn up anyway, due to a long lost friend of mine working inside town hall. She had been my commanding officer back in the days when I was a reserve cop, and by sheer luck she was now working code enforcement. I found out months later that I wouldn’t be ticketed in the future, so long as they knew I was a resident of the area (kind of an unwritten rule they follow to cut residents some slack).

Before I found out about that though, there were times I parked my ride in front the dumpster used by the complex, along with three other cars that did the same thing. I really couldn’t blame them, because there simply was no other place to park, and I figured since they were doing it, no harm in me doing it too.

Nope. I got a letter from the landlord flatly stating how it has come to his attention that certain tenants (read: me) were illegally parking in front of the dumpster, and that if this continued, the cars (read: MY car) would be towed.

So I stopped parking there, though evidently I was the only one who got the memo because the other cars stayed right where they were. In fact another car now occupies the same spot I usually took in front of the dumpster. After asking around, it appears I really WAS the only one who got the letter. Hmmmm. So much for equal treatment.

To add insult to injury, when I’m parking on the side streets, one of the newer tenants has this habit of parking thisfrickingclose to my rear, even though there’s never anybody behind her, and there are always plenty of other spaces on the street where she could park much closer to her unit. This I don’t get, I mean if it were me, I think I’d park my ride a little bit closer than that, and definitely where I could actually see it from my apartment, right?

Today was different though. The car was parked in the same spot as always, except it was missing a few things. 4 tires to be exact. And the rims.

Whoever did it not only left the bolts but the jack behind as well. It was almost comical, but a little weird. For one, why was the car parked 2 feet from the curb, which inadvertently made it much easier for the thieves to jack and boost the tires from that side? And why leave the jack behind? The whole thing about it makes me suspect an insurance scam, especially since she didn’t seem overly upset about it when the police came knocking. I would have gone ape, but I guess that’s just me. I guess I’ll know for sure that something was up if she gets new tires, and then ends up parking in the exact same spot as usual.

Weird neighborhood I’m living in, but at least I won’t have to worry about Tire Lady parking up my ass for a while.

Tags: camaraderie, car, code enforcement, commanding officer, cop, dashboard, decal, dumpster, funny thing, landlord, long lost friend, parking, parking space, parking ticket, police, ride, side streets, slack, street, theft, tires, town hall, two cars
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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