I was reading a few quotes by Dr. Laurence J. Peter (the creator of the Peter Principle), and he had this to say about marriage (section in bold are mine):

A bachelor does not grow lonelier as the years pass by. He learns how to live with himself. He satisfies his unique social needs. His companions may consist of members of his own sex or of the opposite sex or any combination of the above. He may dream of the exceptional girl who could excite him to the point where he would give up all this, but while his standards are going up, the quality of what he can get is going down. The available choice of desirable prospective wives gets smaller day by day. As his competence in making a rational selection increases, the desirable selectees decrease.

To estimate his chances of success he looks at his married pals. Most are stalking girls at the office or sneaking off with others’ wives. He concludes that if married men have mistresses or look for sex and love outside of marriage he would not improve his situation by wedlock. A bachelor is a man who looks before he leaps – and then does not leap.

Yup. 

It does seem like no matter how desperate I get, my standards continue to rise higher and higher until they reach such insurmountable heights that no woman on Earth could ever possibly live up to it.  I think part of the reason for this is because for each year that I continue to be deprived of wubs and snugglies, I end up wanting whatever romance that might come to be even more potent and meaningful just to make up for those lost years.  In other words, I’d want whatever marriage or relationship I end up in to be worth the wait.  And the longer I wait, the higher the bar goes.

I’m beginning to realize though that what I hope for has become nothing more than a pipe dream.  After all, women are simply incapable of being able to offer the things I’m looking for, even itty-bitty little things like you know: friendship, love, respect, loyalty, and so on.  Even when you pay ‘em for it (which is usually the case, marriage or not), the returns are rarely worth the investment.

And now it’s getting to the point now where I really just don’t care any more.  With the sinking knowledge that I never will meet the girl of my dreams, I feel safe and content now in openly bashing this vile gender of the human race and exposing them for the dark, ghoulish souls of evil that they are. 

As Laurence Peter once said:  “Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.”  Knowing this, I would prefer instead to be the hero who survives well beyond the first chapter, riding off into the sunset on his Harley as he moves on to yet another chapter in his life, even if he must ride… alone.

Tags: bachelor, girl of my dreams, laurence j peter, marriage, relationship, romance, singlehood, standards, women
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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So I’m on this dating site right, and I find this girl I have a high percentage match with. I notice she’s online and she just “faved” my profile (meaning she saved it as a favorite). Since you can chat real-time with anyone on the site, I sent her a chat request thanking her for faving me, and that it was good to be loved. She accepted the chat and wrote back, “You’re welcome, and yes it is good to be loved!”

Yay! Finally a nibble!

“So, how was your day–”

She closed her chat window.

What… OK, maybe she made a mistake, so I send her another chat request. No response. I try to send her email but I’m blocked from doing so.

The hell?

You know what, I’m getting mighty motherf*&^ing tired of these motherf*&^ing rude unhinged bitches and their motherf*&^ing bullsh*% mind games.

Great, see what these evil women made me do? Now I have to go repent.

There are like 2 million people on this site and maybe 10 of them match me at higher than 80 percent. You’d think they might appreciate someone who obviously shares the same interests and beliefs they do, especially when such traits are uncommon to begin with, but nope. Obviously camaraderie doesn’t mean bat guano to them. Emails either get ignored altogether, or they’re initially friendly, and then it’s like their inner evil bitchiness comes out and they feel they just HAVE to play these stupid games with me.

That’s not even the half of it either, then you got them laying down what amounts to a World War II minefield of absolutely bat-sh*& crazy criteria that you must, absolutely MUST pass before you even have a prayer of a chance to be a blip on their radar.

Like say, the way you write your subject line in an email. One girl was going off on how she won’t even respond to anyone who writes “Hey” in the subject line, finding it to be too informal and annoying.

You could be a billionaire model who poses for GQ magazine, but if you write “Hey!” then it’s out with you, big boy.

I’m telling you, I can almost hear Rod Serling in the background while I tear out my hair in a fit of near insanity as I try to navigate these fricking minefields, petrified that one stray word or move will end up blowing yet another chance for me to be with someone.

Is it really supposed to be THIS hard?

To cap it off, the “Christian” penpal I was chatting with the other day goes dead ass cold on me. No response to email, chat requests, nothing, even though she’s on the site like a hundred times a day.

You know, I used to think I was being rather picky, with a high set of standards that I felt at times were maybe a bit unreasonable, believing when it came to accepting people’s flaws and blemishes, women certainly held the higher ground here than I did.

Good Lord what kind of crack was I smoking?

I am Disneyland compared to the Fort Knox these women have made themselves out to be, (the difference between them and the real Fort Knox being that the real fort actually has something valuable in it, whereas these women offer nothing of value whatsoever may they all rot in hell evil spawns of satanic demon dogs that they be.)

I’m not bitter though. No really. I have learned to accept my singlehood with a quiet sense of dignity and grace, understanding now that my loneliness will only be truly cured when I finally learn to take advantage of one of the greatest blessings and inventions science could ever bestow upon man: whiskey.

Tags: chat, dating, evil, mind games, profile, rude, standards, women, women suck
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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More From Hot Air

Either I have ridiculously high standards or the world has gone batsh*% insane.

Tags: girl, hooker, kristen, photo, standards, ugly
Categories: Politics and Poker
 
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Even money says this guy will find a woman before I do.

Kinda makes me wonder just how low a woman’s standards will have to be before I finally make the cut.

Update: And now we have another lovely fellow by the name of Jack, whose interests include “eating small children and harming small animals.”

Really makes you think twice before putting up a volume of intimate personal details about yourself (down to the type of dresses you wear) on that crazed, stalker happy, whacko network we all know and love as MySpace.

Tags: dating, fellow, killer, killers, love, money, myspace, penpal, standards, woman, women
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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