With nothing better to do, I decided to hit the local mall to grab up some Auntie Em’s pretzels. Just as I was about to walk inside, I noticed this very pretty girl walking maybe a few feet behind me, so I held the door open for her. I could see right away that she…

To the @#$% a-hole neighbor who lit up a few window rattling rockets at 2AM in the morning: Ok, I get that there’s a certain appeal to lighting up the sky with illegal fireworks you bought from 3 states away. I get that because everyone else does it, you just have to do it too….