What do we even call 2000-2009 anyway? The Zeros? The Single Digits? “The decade that just piled on with so much crap that not even the smelliest crap could have crapped as much crap as this crappy decade crapped on me?”

Well, whatever. Good riddance to 2009 and that whole era of loveless crapiness. I am sorely hoping that 2010 will accumulate in the fulfillment of all hopes and desires, or seriously, I’m just gonna start hitting people. Hard. With like, baseball bats and stuff.

I refuse to make any resolutions though, because I had already done that once on this blog for 2008, and well, let’s take a lookie-loo to see which ones I actually managed to accomplish:

1. Clear up my health problems and get strong again (vith ripplin’ mosscles to impress de vooomen.)

… … … BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

2. Generate a stable income of at least $1250 a month via my blog.

BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

3. Get out of my dead end job and find a new career, whether it’s with another agency or by becoming self employed.

BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

4. Move somewhere else, either out of state, or to nowhere in particular, depending on how successful I am in earning a living off the Internet.

BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

5. Meet the girl of my dreams.

BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Yeah. How ’bout we try that again?

Nah, forget that. Instead, I’ll simply convey what I would like to happen in 2010 that might actually fall within the realm of scientific possibility.

For starters, as for working out, well ok, maybe looking to become the next Mr. Universe was a tad extreme. Not that I was aiming that high really, I just got tired and bored of the gym. There was like, people there, and worse yet, slut-like bimbos who either bounced around the gym with their boyfriends or claimed to be lesbians whenever I tried to talk to them. Ah well. This time I think I’ll invest in some free weights instead so I can do some light workouts by myself, anywhere I please.

As for getting toys: new upgrades on everything I have! That means a spanky new desktop PC, multifunction printer, MacBook Pro and a GPS addon for my iPod that I can use for both geocaching and geo-blogging. My income from the Internet has finally reached the point where investing in a home office makes sense now. Despite falling well short of my goal to make $1250 a month online for 2008, it’s now feasible that I could be making $1000 a month by this time next year. With that in mind, I’m planning to reinvest some of my earnings back into promoting my blog and establishing a permanent marketing budget. I’m lucky here, not everyone can say they can afford to spend a few hundred a month just to market their blog, so I do have an advantage. Let’s not kid ourselves though. I’ve crunched the numbers, and while $1000 a month is entirely feasible, maybe even up to $2500 a month, I would have to get around 50,000 to 60,000 visitors a DAY just to rake in enough income to justify quitting my job. It’s just not going to happen. Well… it COULD happen, if I somehow attracted corporate sponsors or got accepted into an elite advertising agency, but not bloody likely.

Still, $1000 a month would make me a happy dappy camper for the time being.

As for traveling, I have several trips planned, including a few more New England trips spanning New Hampshire and Maine, a trip into Boston, and maybe a few cities in Canada from Ottawa to Montreal. During the summer I might plan a getaway to Alaska or British Columbia, and originally I had wanted it to be an Alaskan cruise, but after reading up on cruises I decided the idea of being trapped on a ship with a few hundred drunken weenies didn’t really appeal to me, so I’m exploring alternative options.

Oh and of course, I’ll be making reservations later on in 2010 to go tornado chasing from Colorado to Montana. Don’t tell Mommy though, she’ll get very upset.

Finally, I have a major roadtrip planned for the midwest in October, from New York to Missouri/Arkansas and back. It will give me a chance to meet up with an old friend of mine for the first time, enjoy the gorgeous fall foliage from the Smoky mountains in Tennessee to the Ozarks in Missouri, and also, to find me a sweet country babe that I can take back home with me.

I’m kidding… well actually no, not really. It seems my best chance to find anyone decent is going to require me to travel many a mile far away from feminazi land to the heartland, and I’ll be honest, I’ve reached the end of my rope here. 2010 HAS to be the year this hellish drought finally ends, and I meet THE ONE, because I am crawling the walls and going out of my #$%^ing mind here. I swear on all my Yankee candles, if I do not meet a girl by this time next year, I am declaring war on mankind. You think I’m punking you? Wait.

So that’s pretty much what I have on the menu for 2010. This is all assuming of course that nobody drops a nuclear bomb somewhere, although if that did happen, more than likely I’ll probably be close to the blast zone, which in turn would give me PLENTY of things to blog about, at least until the radiation finished me off. See? There’s a silver lining in everything.

Happy New Year!

Tags: blog, blogging, country, decade, geocaching, getaway, girl of my dreams, health, new year, resolutions, travel, upgrade
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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I love blogging, especially when it gives me the opportunity to read some of my old posts and have a good laugh at what a stupid moron I am.  Case in point: check out my new year’s eve post from a year ago:

Still, there’s something about the coming year that makes me think I may be in for something different this time. The number 8 is said to symbolize new beginnings, and man, after this awful stretch I’ve been in since the turn of the millennium, a new beginning sounds just like what the doctor ordered.

Here’s what I hope I’ll be able to accomplish in 2008:

1. Clear up my health problems and get strong again (vith ripplin’ mosscles to impress de vooomen.)
2. Generate a stable income of at least $1250 a month via my blog.
3. Get out of my dead end job and find a new career, whether it’s with another agency or by becoming self employed.
4. Move somewhere else, either out of state, or to nowhere in particular, depending on how successful I am in earning a living off the Internet.
5. Meet the girl of my dreams.

What in crap’s name was I smoking that day.

Yeah, I think it’s pretty much safe to say now that I have accomplished absolutely none of these things.  In fact a month later my health got even worse, starting with my hands suddenly going numb, then my right foot, then my tongue.  It was like somebody had poured Novocaine on parts of my body or something.  Weirdest, most unsettling feeling ever too.  Then flecks of blood would come out every time I blew my nose, and I started having weird breathing problems as well.  Then I had a neck cramp, where if I turned my head slightly to the left, I would shriek like a 6 year old girl in pain, and man, that cramp stuck around for several months before it finally went away.  Through it all I was always fatigued and completely without energy.  It really killed whatever aspirations I had for the year, and yet for whatever reason I refused to see a doctor.  I guess going through all that made me kind of give up on life in general, not to mention all the goals I had.

And then of course, the economy blew up in our faces and the Antichrist’s little mini-me won the election.  Great year, huh? 

So yeah, I’m very much glad that this sucky-mcducky suck-a-butt crapfest of a year is finally over.  But in spite of all the major setbacks I experienced, I have the oddest feeling that 2009 is going to be the year that 2008 wasn’t.  I’m finally planning to see a doctor in January to get myself tested every which way so I can find out what’s wrong with me, and force myself to get back on the path to being strong and healthy again.  I also have something in the works to bring myself the traffic I need so I can finally earn money through this blog, and I’m also on an accelerated repayment plan to pay off my car loan and college loan, making me completely debt free by July.  Once that happens I’ll be making plans to move as well.  Maybe it won’t be out of state, but at least it will be far, far away from the awful memories of this evil town.

And then of course, there’s the event that made me truly believe that the girl of my dreams was real, and that she will be there waiting for me once I decide to stop being such a weenie.

So… 2009 will have to be the year that I man up for real.  The world is after all in grave danger, and desperately needs a hero now more than ever.  I for one am just studly enough for the job, ready to ride on my Black Stallion to save the day and get the girl, all to the tune of INXS, but of course. 

Happy New Year!

Tags: aspirations, black stallion, blog, debt, election, failure, fatigue, girl of my dreams, health problems, hero, new beginnings, new year, number 8, resolutions, world
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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In all my years on this planet, I don’t think I’ve ever kept a single New Year’s resolution. Doesn’t stop me from making them though.

Still, there’s something about the coming year that makes me think I may be in for something different this time. The number 8 is said to symbolize new beginnings, and man, after this awful stretch I’ve been in since the turn of the millennium, a new beginning sounds just like what the doctor ordered.

Here’s what I hope I’ll be able to accomplish in 2008:

1. Clear up my health problems and get strong again (vith ripplin’ mosscles to impress de vooomen.)
2. Generate a stable income of at least $1250 a month via my blog.
3. Get out of my dead end job and find a new career, whether it’s with another agency or by becoming self employed.
4. Move somewhere else, either out of state, or to nowhere in particular, depending on how successful I am in earning a living off the Internet.
5. Meet the girl of my dreams.

As you can see, I have very modest ambitions.

Even though my basic goals of moving and finding a new job are the same, they may be realized in different ways. I might settle for simply finding another job (possibly with the feds) and moving to wherever that new job might be, but ultimately I would like to be self employed, and earn a living by blogging and perhaps doing affiliate marketing online. Doing so would allow me to fulfill what’s been a growing dream of mine: to travel and live from state to state as a working nomad, where the road would be my home. I’ve never felt at home here, and the thought of being tied down to one job in one location for x amount of years is about as appealing to me as doing time on Rikers Island.

Besides, I’ve always harbored the suspicion that my dream girl was never anybody local, and if I were to find her I needed the freedom of being able to travel and stay anywhere.

So, will 2008 be THE year? Time will tell, but it’s looking more and more like my fate will ultimate hang on 2008. As for 2007, I bid good riddance to that crapola of a year.

See you all on the other side!

Tags: affiliate marketing, ambitions, different ways, doing time, dream girl, earning a living, fate, feds, health problems, job, new beginnings, new year, nomad, number 8, resolutions, suspicion
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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