I realize my heathen audience just went “Uhhhhhh???” upon reading that title, but every now and then I like to discuss a Christian topic on my blog, so like it or not it’s par for the course.

One of my beloved readers recommended that I give the “worship artist” Jason Upton a listen, hoping his music would inspire.

Listening to his music did in fact inspire me with hope: hope that he never releases another album. I keed, I keed…. ok not really.

In all seriousness, I think Upton means well, though I was kinda hoping he would be the real deal, another Keith Green in the making, yet when I started giving a few of his songs a listen, something just seemed… off.

And here we go again. As soon as my spirit gets disturbed about something I know I’m about to step into a pile of fecal matter and start knocking over sacred cows, but then again, it’s what I do, and dude, I do it oh so well.

On the surface, Upton’s music and lyrics would appear to be alright and God-focused, but quite a few of his songs also seemed vague and cryptic, their meanings hidden in obscurity. I also noted the absence of any overt call to repentance and living a life free of sin, two of the most common themes found not only in Keith Green songs but in most of the Psalms as well. It might not be a big deal, but Upton’s musical words presented a rather incomplete gospel to me. Curiosity compelled me to do some digging into his background, and what I learned (so far) pretty much confirmed my suspicions about him.

Upton’s musical career began with his album “Key of David,” which according to Wikipedia was a series of prophetic worship sessions, over half of which were “spontaneously inspired by the Holy Spirit.”

Right away I knew some Christian dweeb in love with Upton must have written this. How did they know such sessions were inspired by the Holy Spirit to begin with? Did they ask Him? Did they test the spirit as the Bible instructs us to do? Did they compare their experiences to what Scripture teaches to see if it lined up? Or was it all mushy gushy feelings and since we’re all happy shappy dappy here it must be of God? And what makes his worship music prophetic anyway? Are we insinuating that Upton is not only a musician, but a modern day prophet as well? Sigh.

Things just get more bizarre as the same Wiki entry suggests Upton was able to stop a tornado with his music, and that one of his tracks contained the voices of actual angels singing.

Sure, and I’m Mickey Mouse.

I checked out the lyrics to the song that supposedly had this heavenly choir singing in it:

I declare over you, God has given you the air!
So fly, it’s time to open up your wings,
To shake off the things that hold you down (to leave the things…..)
It’s time to spread out your wings and fly!

Do you see what I see?
Do you hear what I hear?
Do you know what I know?
Do you want what I want?

Angel: (”…undiscernible… I want you to fly …undiscernible… Fly….” )

Do you see what I see?
Do you hear what I hear?
Do you know what I know?
Fly!

And of course, someone from the audience later claims to have seen one or more of these angels, so we can now accept without reservation that a brigade of angels from heaven just decided to go on tour with Jason Upton.

Really people, can you stop taking everything at face value here? There’s no doubt in my mind that fans have now used this as unequivocal proof that Upton is anointed of God. “Never mind what the Bible says. We heard angels sing! That’s proof enough for us!”

One of the failings of the charismatic crowd today is that they rely too heavily on emotions and experiences for evidence that a movement is of God, rather than on what Scripture teaches. So they never test the spirits, they never scrutinize their experiences according to God’s word, and of course the net result is that they fall away to heresy.

Is there anything overtly heretical about Jason Upton though, other than the fact that he seems to be an ignoramus? It’s hard to say. Reading his website, I noted what a pastor wrote about his first album, Key of David:

The Key of David is mentioned in Revelation 3:7 to refer to the absolute authority of Heaven in Jesus’ hands to open the doors that no one can shut and to close the doors that no one can open. But the Key of David is first mentioned in Isaiah 22:22, where it denotes a fatherly authority, a pivotal place of opening up the riches of the House of David-God’s blessing, God’s presence, and God’s glory-to God’s people. I believe the Lord is going to use worship like this to birth whole generations into His Kingdom in fire.

The Youth in our churches and campuses are going to catch fire quickly and intensely, and they are going to take back for God what the enemy has stolen-they are going to take back the churches, the universities and campuses, and the cities that we, the older generations in the Church, have longed and prayed for in spite of the fact that we have not yet seen the widespread, reclaiming revival fires from heaven that we have prayed and wept for.

Again with this fire thing. Fires and revivals, they’re all the new rage these days, and yet I wonder if any of them even know what they’re talking about. When God’s fire is referred to in Scripture, it’s always in the sense that it consumes sin. Fire purifies and burns away all that is displeasing to God, and it is without exception, a PAINFUL experience:

1 Peter 1:7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ…

Faith is always described as a precious metal that’s been purified by fire (trials), so if a Christian grounded in the Word asks for an anointing of fire, he is in essence asking God to purify his faith (regardless of how painful that process might be). Yet from the quote above it seems readily obvious that such fire is being defined in a different context, that it instead signifies some sort of vague mutinous takeover of churches and cities by today’s Christian youth.

The more I read, the more I wondered, “What the blue flipping dip are these people talking about?” Then I read about Upton’s strong association with yet another “Christian” movement called The Call, which was founded by Lou Engle. You can see a video of Upton performing for Engle here (what’s with this weaving and bobbing crap by the way? What are we, Hassidic Jews?)

As for Engle himself, he’s a bit of a weenie, obsessed in raising up an “army” of young believers who can help turn back the “black moral morass” that has plagued America since the Beatles, mostly by doing lots of praying, fasting and worship (and a wee bit of political grassroots action.) Some of his bizarre antics have been shown in the anti-Christian documentary Jesus Camp, where he gives a sermon espousing on the evils of abortion and the need to have conservative judges on the Supreme Court… to KIDS. Seriously. Because you know, nothing is more important than making sure children understand the need for having constructionist judges on the bench by the time they’re ten years old. Chuckie Cheese? Pffft, that’s for godless atheists. We’re doing God’s work here.

In spite of this flaming stupidity, some of Engle’s rhetoric still seemed to ring true. Here’s a synopsis of what his movement “The Call” is supposedly all about:

TheCall is a divinely initiated, multi-racial, multi-generational, and cross-denominational gathering to corporate prayer and fasting. We believe that our nation is in desperate need of the mercy of God and a great Spiritual Awakening. TheCall is committed to mobilizing people from all across America to gather together to petition God for His undeserved mercy for our nation in 12-hour solemn assemblies. Just as in the days of Joel, we believe that now is the time to blow the trumpet across our land, to fast, to pray, and return to the Lord with all our hearts.

Sounds all well and good right? Until you start delving into Engle’s background and you start to realize, “Holy cow, this guy’s batsh*& insane!”

It seems Engle’s ultimate goal is really to take America back for Christians, and this “call” is basically a hyped up, Promise Keepers style movement based on the notion that if we just pray really really really hard enough, magical things will happen (and the U.S. Supreme Court will instantly be filled by 9 ultraconservative judges who all graduated from Regent University and are diehard fans of Jason Upton.)

Not that there’s anything wrong with getting involved in the political process, but Engle’s problem is that he apparently thinks God specifically told him to start this movement, in spite of the fact that there’s no Scriptural support for doing such a thing.

The Bible clearly tells us what constitutes a true revival:

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. - 2 Chronicles 7:14

Revivals are a call to individual repentance. It’s not the world God is concerned with in this regard, it’s His people. Any revival movement then should always have this as its primary focus: that we as a Christian community have sinned before God and it’s OUR ways we need to change, not the world’s.

Engle’s movement though is not about that. He makes mild overtures about returning to the Lord and all, but what his movement is really about is changing the socio-political climate of an entire nation. His emphasis is on reforming America, not on reviving the church itself, despite the fact that the Bible clearly indicates things are supposed to get worse, not better, as we move ever closer to the end. He and his followers also don’t seem to realize that before God judges the world, He is going to judge His church FIRST:

For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God? - 1 Peter 4:17

Knowing this, doesn’t it make more sense that we clean up OUR house first before we start trying to save the world? Unless of course, you’re so absolutely mind bogglingly obtuse that you think the church today isn’t facing any serious problems, in which case I’d like to invite you over to my place so I can stomp your face in with my spiked boot.

The fact is, we don’t need a revival in America. We need a revival IN THE CHURCH. The time will soon come when God is going to judge a completely unprepared Christian church before He does anything with the rest of the world. We’re going to be weighed in the balance, and at the state we’re in today, we are going to be found severely wanting.

We are so screwed.

There’s nothing more frustrating than having to fight an illness that manifests itself for no other reason than because I was a stupid dumbass.

For years I developed the extremely bad habit of eating too much, at too late an hour, so much that when I went to bed I could feel the stomach juices sloshing around as my digestive system bravely tried to make sense of the mess I just inhaled. I knew it was unhealthy, everyone else reminded me that it was unhealthy, and yet still I kept doing it. Over the years it was clear that I was an emotional eater, taking solace in the joys of chowing down during those times when everything else in my life amounted to crap. Which was usually most of the time.

Food was my companion. It was my friend. When I dined in a restaurant, alone as I usually did, the food would always be there to lift my spirits.

But now food has betrayed me. Or rather, I betrayed myself. During the past few months I’ve been suffering daily heartburn and acid reflux, though fortunately not the kind that makes me scream in agony the minute it hits me. Still, it was the bothersome kind that created a dull burning sensation in my chest everytime I ate. And yet, unbelievably, until only recently I ignored it. I just figured it would quickly go away once I dropped a few pounds. But then I continued to eat and eat, which would make any rational person wonder: when exactly would I knock it off and drop those few pounds like I promised myself I would do?

Eventually I had to come to terms with my eating life. I had been so used to getting pre-prepared foods either from the market or from the drive-thru, that I was completely unaccustomed to cooking and preparing my own meals. It was a skill I was going to have to relearn if I was going to nip this problem in the bud and prevent similar problems in the future.

In the meantime I still had to deal with my heartburn, which has now progressed into giving me that wonderful “globus sensation,” the feeling that there is something stuck in my throat. It is a GODAWFUL feeling, almost as if someone were gently choking me, and I feel it all day long. The good thing is that I can still swallow and breathe easily, though I noticed after I get up in the mornings and blow my nose, a little bit of dried blood comes out. It’s obvious the reflux is aggravating my sinus areas as well, though the damage is only minor (compared to the horror stories I’ve heard from other people who suffered acid reflux problems). I’ve used Mylanta, Pepto-Bismol, Tums along with certain supplements I got from the Vitamin Shoppe to try to alleviate the symptoms, but they’ve only had a minimal impact on the heartburn issues.

It’s funny how quickly one remembers God the minute we get physically ill. I knew I had to repent and confess my sins, and I suspected God was allowing this to happen to shake some sense into me. I only hope it’s not too late, since chronic acid reflux can be a sign of GERD (Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease), which is usually due to the lower esophageal sphincter (LES) no longer closing properly to keep the acid from entering the esophagus. If that’s what I have, and the LES doesn’t eventually straighten itself out, I am so screwed. I’d have to rely on medicating myself one way or another ad infinitum, or having major surgery done to artificially correct the LES so it closes properly again.

It’s been suggested that losing weight may eventually clear up these problems, so I’m hoping if I drop enough pounds and enough time passes, my digestive system might return to normal. It will require my finally abandoning my gluttonous ways, finding a new and healthier way to eat, and eventually finding an exercise regimen that I can actually stick with. And then, should I be able to accomplish all that and be rewarded for it all by still having problems with heartburn, then like I said before: I am so screwed.

I had to appeal to God for his grace and mercy. Yet it seems stupid to ask Him not to endure the consequences of my own stupidity, but I knew (at least I hope) that I was genuinely sorry for living the kind of lifestyle that I did. I regret what it did to me, and I regret it more because in this condition I am of little value and use to God, or anyone else for that matter. I needed another chance to make things right. So I prayed. And I pray continually, asking the LORD to forgive me, to give me the grace to accept this burden that I brought on myself, and for Him to eventually heal my digestive system.

In my heart I knew that conventional medicine would not bring the cure I was looking for. For people who suffer chronic acid reflux or GERD, the host of treatments available generally only masks the symptoms rather than cure the disease. Of all the drugs out there designed to treat GERD, the most powerful are called PPI drugs (proton pump inhibitors), such as Nexium. They function by basically shutting down the stomach’s ability to produce acid, which in turn alleviates heartburn. All well and good, except that we kinda need that acid. The stomach acid is what breaks down foods for digestion, and yet the typical doctor/pharmaceutical industry’s answer to curing heartburn is to turn off that very acid, the one thing that makes it possible for us to absorb the essential nutrients we so desperately need. Brilliant. And yet despite the warning on the label indicating that such drugs should not be used for more than a couple of months, I’ve heard of people who have been using them for YEARS.

There has to be a better way. I believe with all my heart that if God wanted to, He could cure me, but there’s something I need to learn in this before that happens. Scripture warns of us catering to the flesh, but it also has a promise:

Galatians 6:8-9 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

In the meantime, I’m praying for the wisdom to find the best medicinal aids I can find in order to give my esophagus a chance to heal itself. As agonizing as this search has been, I’m realizing that some answers just don’t come easy without a lot of seeking, asking and knocking. It’s so against my nature to behave this diligently in seeking the help I need, but I’m left with little choice. But as I continue to search, seek and knock, I’m slowly beginning to uncover a few of the gems that God has brought to my attention, buried in the mountain of disinformation that exists on the Internet.

One, there is an orange peel extract available (called Citrus sinesis) that’s been reported to help alleviate heartburn. I just started using it last Saturday, and the effect has been amazing. My heartburns haven’t disappeared, but they were significantly reduced after just taking two capsules over three days. This thing did what gobbling and downing Tums, Mylanta and Pepto Bismol couldn’t do all put together. I’m supposed to take them every other day for 20 days, so hopefully my symptoms will improve even more by then.

Two, DGL (Deglycyrrhizinated Licorice), which can coat and soothe an esophagus suffering acid reflux, as well as promote healthy digestion. I haven’t taken it yet, but plan to tomorrow, since I heard it can also relieve the globus sensation (the lump in the throat feeling) that I’ve been getting.

Three, a couple of tablespoons of lemon juice has also been reportedly helpful. Since I’ve had a habit of flavoring my water bottles with lemon juice anyway, this will be pretty easy to add to my regimen.

Four, a garlic supplement every day. I bought this on a whim at the vitamin store, and completely forgot about it until now. It has plenty of benefits, but it’s also been reported to have positive effects against acid reflux. I have a feeling about it, so I’m going to start taking it and see if it helps.

Five, of course would be to lose the weight. LOSE THE WEIGHT. GOD**** MOTHER****ING LOSE THE WEIGHT. It’s destroying my health, not to mention that a) I have no energy because of the extra baggage I carry around, b) no women on this planet will ever possibly love me because of it, c) no fancy clothes will look good on me, and d) I will forever and truly be deprived of a normal, active lifestyle until I get up off my fat ass and STOP trying to slowly commit suicide, which is what I’ve been doing for far too long.

So now, the climb out of the deep and dark abyss begins. Only question is, am I too far down to get out?