I’ve been having an argument with a lady friend who is convinced most men only want women with straight-as-an-arrow stick figures, while I say most of us want curvaceous, lickable, yummy yummy, oh YEAH BABY WORK IT HONE… umm, that is to say, curvy figures.

Rather than argue this to death, I thought I’d put up a poll and see what my audience thinks. I split up the answers so you have to identify yourself by gender too:

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Tags: curvy figures, poll, stick figures, women
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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So now that we’ve elected a mini-me version of the Antichrist, I think it’s high time I finally start working to move to a town that’s right for me.  A town that’ll keep me movin’ and keep me groovin’ with some energy. 

Even though I talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it…  I gotta move on. 

Seriously, I gotta move on.

Right now I’m going over which states might offer the best prospects, and I’m starting off with three basic requirements: the state should have no income tax, the gun laws should be flexible, and it should have lopsidedly voted against the communist demon of the underworld in the last election.

So far I have 5 options:

• Wyoming
• Alaska
• Tennessee
• Texas
• South Dakota

Climate and terrain wise I would prefer to live where there’s mountains and temperate seasons (the most important being autumn) AND little humidity.  VERY little humidity.  Seriously, there’s a reason why I refer to humidity as “Satan’s Breath.”  Just… no.

That puts Tennessee at the top for now, especially the eastern part where the Appalachian/Smokey Mountain range begins.  And since it’s the closest I’d be able to put together a road trip to visit the area and check it out.  The only remaining question is being able to find a job.  I have a background in computers and government and finished my undergraduate education a ways back, so I should be good for something besides shoveling horse manure, right?  What do you think?  Or should I try for another state?

As for the others, I like Wyoming because it has the Rockies, but again the problem is jobs, and it’s also out of driving reach.  I’d have to either fly or do a cross country trip just to scout the state.  Same deal with Alaska (as much as the thought of being near Sarah Palin thrills me), and the other 2 states, Texas and South Dakota.

If I remove the “no state income tax” requirement however, I have a few more options:

• Idaho
• Utah
• Oklahoma
• Nebraska
• Kansas
• Arkansas
• Louisiana
• Mississippi
• Alabama
• Kentucky
• West Virginia

I would drop all of the southern states because of the humidity and lack of mountains, but I hear the girls are so smokin’ hot in places like Alabama and Mississippi that I just have to keep these states on the list for now. 

Idaho and Utah might be good options, but I don’t particularly care for the high Mormon demographic.  It’s not that I hate Mormons or anything, I just can’t stand them.  Kansas and Nebraska have no mountains and seem boring overall, while Oklahoma might be too humid.  West Virginia is on the list, but I drove through the entire state once and the scenery was just awful.  Kentucky might be the best choice so far all things considered, but still, I have very little intel about any of these states frankly, which is why I’d like to visit them and see for myself.

In the meantime, what do you think is my best bet?  Let me know in the comments.  I’ll also include a poll too, because I’m awesome like that. 

Help me find my Funkytown!

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Tags: Alabama, Alaska, Appalachian, autumn, climate, cross country, election, funkytown, girls, humidity, Idaho, job, Kansas, Kentucky, live, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nebraska, Oklahoma, poll, road trip, sarah palin, smokey mountain, song, South Dakota, tennessee, terrain, Texas, town, Utah, West Virginia, Wyoming
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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The results from my last poll (Should I stay single?) were pretty interesting:  Only 20% thought I would be perfectly happy remaining single, 34% took the coward’s way out and mentioned their fondness for pie , and 46% were convinced that I’d soon be doing 20 to life if I didn’t get myself a honey bunny soon.

The demographics were even more interesting: most of the ladies who voted felt that only the love of a good woman would bring me happiness, while most of the men opted for singlehood.  Those who picked pie were roughly split between the 2 genders.

Conclusion: Women think I need them, while men think otherwise.  Naturally, I side with the men. 

The truth is, as much as I might pine for a little coochie coo, I really don’t need you wimmins.  Sure, it’d be nice to have a little squeeze toy I can play around with every now and then, but ultimately, the odds are very much against me in finding someone I could truly be happy with, and vice versa.  In short, I think it’s better to be alone than to be with someone who was hell spawned by Satan.

Oddly enough, this kind of attitude generally makes me more attractive to the fairer sex.  Women don’t seem to like men who are clingy and whine for wubsiness, but when we become more aloof and independent and could give a flying dinky winks whether girls like us or not, suddenly our hotness meter goes way up.  It seems to be the paradox of romance: the more we want women, the less they want us, but the less we want women, the more they want us.  Oy! 

Frankly though, I’d rather be the chasee than the chaser.  There’s so much aggravation and misery involved in chasing after someone that she really has to gem of a woman to merit the trouble, and these days, they hardly seem to be worth it.  There has to be something about a beautiful, single girl that can make me believe she’s a cut above the rest.  Even if she has a rough exterior (because God knows I certainly do), if I discern that God truly lives in her heart, and the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-26) is evident in her personality, then I’d move heaven and earth to win over her love.

So… anybody here like that?  Yeah I didn’t think so. 

Tags: demographics, girl, God, happiness, love, personality, poll, romance, single, singlehood, Spirit, woman, women
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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I suspect I already know what the answer is, but for those of you who have been following my blog for some time, what is it about my writing that you enjoy and would like to see more of?  Is it my treatises on political or religious (Christian) topics, or is it my personal anecdotes that draw you?  Or maybe my crazy rants at everything I hate in life (which would be, oh, just about everything except autumn seasons, mountains, chocolate cake and pizza.)  Let me know in the comments, or you can take my new poll: 

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Tags: blog, blogging, christian, poll, writing
Categories: Blog Fog
 
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Slate isn’t yet on my block list, which is why I was able to come across yet another one of their lame articles, this one espousing on the issue of sex and religion in the lives of American teenagers.

The central emphasis of the article of course was on the usual liberal notion of how promoting abstinence encourages even more booty calls. But then I found this particular gem:
 

What really matters is not which religion teenagers identify with but how strongly they identify. After controlling for all factors (family satisfaction, popularity, income), religion matters much less than religiosity. Among the mass of typically promiscuous teenagers in the book, one group stands out: the 16 percent of American teens who describe religion as “extremely important” in their lives. When these guys pledge, they mean it.

So let me see if I have this right: those who actually take their religion seriously are far less likely to be plowing the field. And this is newsworthy… why again?

If anything, it only reinforces the rather obvious point that a large number (if not the vast majority) of young people claiming to be Christians today are pretty much full of it. They may pay lip service to God, attend church regularly, and speak the language of “Evangelese,” but they are about as much Christian as this bottle of Pepsi I’m drinking here. Look, you guys want to roll around in the hay, or get hammered at college frat parties and wake up in strange places the next day, or flash truckers driving the opposite way, or unabashedly drop f-bombs because it makes you feel like a Soprano, then go right ahead. Just don’t call yourself a Christian. It really frosts my cookies when you do.

I think part of the reason why I get all bent out of shape over this is because it doesn’t exactly make my search for THE ONE any easier. I want to meet a nice CHRISTIAN girl, but now that even bra burning, baby killing streetwalkers are touting themselves as children of the kingdom, this sort of makes my efforts to find a virtuous snuggly pie a little daunting, to say the least. Honestly, if the profiles from dating sites like Match.com were to be believed, then just about 99 percent of the women on there are Christians. But if I’m to be the 31st guy in the supermarket express line that is the sex life of many of these “Christian” Match girls, then I think they might want to do a little more soul searching to discover just what exactly their true religion really is.

Tags: abstinence, american teens, christian girl, christianity, Christians, dating, girls, hypocrites, lip service, lukewarm, match.com, matchmaking, online dating, pepsi, poll, promiscuous, religion, religiosity, slate, soprano, streetwalkers, survey, teenagers, truckers, virtue, virtuous, women
Categories: Christians Gone Wild, Romance and Relationships
 
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