One night I was sifting through a pile of “official police documents” at work and punching them into the system. I came across one for “Forcible Touching, 2nd Degree” and tried to think of an appropriate abbreviation for such a charge, since the field for inputting charges was ridiculously short to begin with, forcing us to come up with all sorts of creative abbreviations so we could fit the damned charges in.

So I put in “Touchy Feely.”

One of these days I’ll finally come to realize that the cops I work with have absolutely NO sense of humor WHATSOEVER. A detective called up and had a canary over my description of the charge, (which I happen to think was a pretty accurate description by the way). My CO though was not amused, so alas, I shall be written up once again for my momentary lapse of judgment.

I think I’ve been working here too long.