I finally uploaded several sets of photos I took during a vacation in 2005, and a group of photos from Manhattan when I was playing tour guide for a relative of mine.  It looks like my hard work finally paid off:  I wanted a personal gallery in-house to keep my photos rather than a relying exclusively on a third party service like Flickr, but now I can have the best of both worlds.  I installed a module that allows me to export my in-house photos to Flickr while still retaining its descriptions and tags, which makes photo uploads and synchronization so much easier now.  I really need to start using my cameras again, and with this headache out of the way, you should finally start seeing more photo uploads on a semi- regular basis now.  Do I not rock? 

One thing I need to get off my chest:  Gallery2 is the crappiest crapola craptastic crappy dappy pile of chewy mooseballs I’ve ever seen pass off as a photo management system.  Ok, I’m being a little harsh here, but really, when it comes to offering features likes ratings, comments and so on, it is a thing of hell.  Captcha wouldn’t work, I couldn’t get email notifications of comments, the ratings systems was primitive and pointless, and the slideshow is so basic I suspect it’s still using the same code from 1997.

Still, it’s the only gallery that I could successfully embed into WordPress using this theme, so I’m pretty much stuck with it for now.  It’s one saving grace was being able to export my photos to Flickr, so if you want to comment or fave my photos you can do it there easily enough.

One extra thing about Flickr: my photos get MUCH better exposure there.  So much that a map guide requested my photo of the Lincoln Memorial for use in their Washington edition.  They didn’t pay me a dime though, but still, it’s nice to have a little recognition.  You can see it here.

And before I forget, I also added a link in my sidebar where you can easily chat with me in real time (if I’m around.)  You can find the link in “My Current Status” right above my Twitter widget.  Tres awesomeness, dude. 

Now without further ado, my new photo sets!

Enjoy!

Remember when I wrote about tweaking my dating profile before?  I finally got around to uploading the changes on a major dating site the night before.  6 hours later I get this email:

Some of your comments were flagged for review and were found to be inappropriate, and your profile was edited.  We would like to remind you that any defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, obscene, profane, offensive sexually oriented, threatening, harassing, racially offensive, or illegal material or any material that infringes or violates another party’s rights is not allowed…

The portion that triggered the review was my “threat” to superimpose the face of any Obama worshipping girl over a picture of Richard Simmons, and then spreading those photos around the Internet.  Yes, really.

Actually I could see how this might worry some people. 

Yep, I got another rejection letter lined up, this time in response to a Craigslist ad that I could swear I never posted, and yet somehow it got posted anyway.   Don’t worry though, this is my last one because I am so, so, SO done with this whole dating-relationship crap.  I am finally going full on Lone Ranger here, and bite me all of you who think I can’t be happy being single.

So anyways, why am I rejecting this one?  Because dude, she totally looked like a guy.  Seriously.   She’s British though, so that might explain a few things, but still, dude, she really totally looked like a guy.  Here’s my farewell email to her:

Dear Look-Like-A-Man,

I wanted to like you.   I really did.  But see, here’s the thing: you look like a man.   A man wearing a pretty blonde wig, but a man nonetheless.

I can deal with plain looking women.  I can deal with women who are overweight.   I can deal with women who have disabilities and missing body parts (unless it’s the head maybe.)  I can even deal with women who watch reality shows.  I cannot however, in this life or the next, deal with a woman who looks like a man.

Even slightly mannish features creep me out in ways not even Richard Simmons could do.  There’s just no way I could see myself embracing you intimately or puckering up to give you a kissy without my inwards screaming out, “MAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!”

So you see, it’s not you, it’s me.  I do hope though that you will someday meet that special guy who thinks a mustache on a woman is sexy, and that the two of you will be very happy together.  I however, must sadly follow another path.

So, best of luck to you, and here’s a little parting advice: do try to shave every now and then, ok?

Much love,

Lincoln

No of course I didn’t send it, but I was in a conundrum.  I didn’t want to blow her off, but I didn’t want to tell her straight up that I was only interested in women who looked like women either, so what’s a stud like me to do?

Then a thought came to me: make her think she’s rejecting ME instead.   Brilliant!

So I did some surfing to find the dweebiest, weeniest photo that still looked authentic enough for me to use as a picture of “myself,” then wrote her a friendly email in which I casually mentioned being heavily in debt and living with my parents, but she needn’t worry, I worked a prestigious job as a low-level clerk, so it should only be just a few more years before I can finally move out on my own.   Say, when I’m 36 or so…

Here’s the photo I used.  Poor guy, whoever he is I hope he never sees this post:

It’s been a few days now and I have yet to receive a response from her.  Dude, I awesomely rock.

No not me, the other guy. My photo gallery is now online, so this is a good opportunity for me to upload my first batch of photos, this being from when I passed through D.C. a couple of years. What an awesome place too, I definitely plan to go back for a more extended stay, if for no other reason than to have a heart to heart chat with my buddy Abe on why women are so evil. I should be uploading more photo albums from my collection, so stay tuned. You can comment on and rate the photos too, but the system is a bit rudimentary, so best to just fire up the slideshow and enjoy my photographic brilliance. 

More From Hot Air

Either I have ridiculously high standards or the world has gone batsh*% insane.

I used to have an 8×10 photo of Jessica Alba on my desk. It has now been replaced by a giant question mark.