It’s no secret that “King of Pain” is one of my all-time favorite songs. I consider it a signature description of my sometimes dark personality, but rather than hoping for an end to my own “reign of pain,” I’m actually at peace with it. Depression to me is not really a disease but rather a neutral state that reflects how I feel. Even then, most people don’t even realize when I’m in a depressive state because I’m always outgoing and friendly in real life, even while my soul may be currently wrenched in despair and turmoil. I think that’s why this song resonates with me: while the lyrics are truly melancholy in nature, the music itself is arguably upbeat and lively, counterbalancing the disquieting mood of depression with a more energetic appeal. It reflects a paradoxical soul at odds with itself, expressing opposing sentiments that somehow are both true and real.

So while I may have to stand out here in the pouring rain, I do so with a smile, and embrace my destiny as king of pain.

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain,
With the world turning circles running ’round my brain,
I guess I’m always hoping that you’ll end this reign,
But it’s my destiny to be the king of pain…

Tags: depression, melancholy, paradox, police, song, soul
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