I’ve been checking out OKCupid lately, and I have to admit there’s something to be said for their personality quizzes, which are fun to take. I don’t care for some of the raunchiness (the Slut Test?), but the results I got from taking their dating persona test intrigued me, considering the fact that it pegged me better than eHarmony’s craptastic crapola questionaire ever did. I was classified as a Slow Dancer, which is described as follows:

The Slow Dancer
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLD)

Steady, reliable, and cradling her tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy…you are The Slow Dancer

Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you’re a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There’s also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The women left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal woman is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive.

While you’re not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it’s HIGHLY likely they’re just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships.

Now who can argue with that? My worst match is known as The Battleaxe, who I am to avoid at all costs. LOL, you’ll get no argument from me there…

I can tell they’re trying to soften the blow though, like saying I have “average experience” with love (translation: you’re a weenie virgin nobody wants to touch, haha!) or where it says the women left over after the playboys are done looting the dating pool will be hot and mine. Hot? After what, 10 beers? Leftovers aren’t hot dude, they get reheated.

Anyway, I also took their IQ test, which is a combination of quizzes that attempt to gauge your math, verbal, spatial and social intelligence.

Surprise, surprise, I completely bombed the social score, which indicates that I have difficulty forming and maintaining lasting interpersonal relationships. Dude, it’s not my fault if the whole world sucks is it? Really, why would I want to develop any kind of relationship with the human race when just about everyone around me is either an idiot or bugnuts insane, or both?

*Ahem* Anyway, so my social score tanked, my verbal scores were about average, but what really surprised me was my spatial score, which was through the roof. Anything above 145 was considered genius level, and I scored a 150.

From the results page:

High spatial scorers understand physical space, recognize color, and interpret visual images quickly and accurately. It should go without saying that these people are the most artistic of our four measurement groups. They’re also the most confident and self-sufficient. Also, according to the picture-rating data we’ve accumulated on OkCupid, high spatial scorers tend to be significantly more attractive than average.

Now who can argue with that? Everyday I look in a mirror I am just overwhelmed by how damned good looking I am. Such a thrill my body!

Seriously though, what they supposedly found was not so much that those who were high scores on the Spatial were better looking, but that they were much better dressed. That actually makes sense in a way. One thing I’ve been complimented on in the past was my taste for clothes, which is another reason why I hate warm temperatures so much. Blistering hot weather keeps me from expressing my fabric art to the fullest, leather jacket and all.

Additionally, high spatial scorers have the highest life satisfaction when they’ve found an appropriate outlet for their creativity, but were also the lowest scorers ever when they’re deprived of such an outlet.

I have to admit that’s been the case for me as well. While writing is one of my outlets, there’s so much more I want to do to express myself, including in a musical and artful sense. I just don’t have the equipment, time or privacy to express them successfully. I may someday soon, just not today, and it’s a large reason why I get so depressed sometimes.

So that’s me in a nutshell, according to OKCupid: A Spacey Slow Dancer. Interested?