And here I am once again arriving at another Thanksgiving, alone, empty, and even worse off than last year.  What do I have to be thankful for?  I’m still in a dead end job, I still haven’t found my dream girl, and now thanks to the Obamaton assbots who voted Antichrist-Lite into office, I can look forward to 4 years of misery so awful it will make me yearn for the Jimmy Carter years.

I have nothing to be thankful.  NOTHING.

Well… at least I’ll soon be out of debt though, so I guess there’s that.  And I have a job where I only have to work 4 days a week, so I guess I should be thankful for that too.  And I have a nice car, a laptop, a desktop PC, two digital cameras, a fridge packed with food and a closet filled with clothes, and of course my incredibly designed blog as well.  I also have two loving parents that still haven’t disowned me even when I accidentally set their car on fire.  (And the kitchen too, after a failed baking experiment once.)

Ok, so maybe I do have a few things to be thankful for. 

I guess I should take this time then to at least try and focus on the good things in my life instead of the bad.  And out of all the good that I do have, the one thing I should be thankful for above everything else is having a God who is always watching out for me, even when I accuse Him of the most horrible things.

So thank you Lord for putting up with me, especially when You’re the only one who has the patience to do so.  But who knows, maybe someday You’ll bring a girl into my life who will also have the kind of everlasting patience to put up with me as well. 

Tags: dream girl, girl, God, life, lord, misery, parents, patience, thankful, thanks, Thanksgiving
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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I only have one thing going for me right now: a steady plan to get myself completely out of debt by July 4th, 2009.  After that I’ll have a lot of wiggle room to move around and start searching for another job so I can move out of New York once and for all.

That is, if I can muster up the energy to do so, because right now it’s all I can do to even stay awake these days.  As much as I try to hope and believe a better future awaits me, I plunge so deeply in despair that I sometimes ask God to end my life.  I’m already past my prime and getting older, and with that there’s no prospect of finding a better career after having been in a dead end job for so many years.  Little to no chance of finding the girl of my dreams either, and healthwise I continue to get worse and worse.  I wonder if I don’t already have a cancer somewhere in my inwards that will soon put me out of my misery anyway.  Maybe that’s why I won’t see a doctor, so I can give it a chance to finish the job.  And of course with the coming economic holocaust and a government about to veer to the left of Stalin, it’s hard to find reasons to even stay alive anymore.

I can’t even blog because there is just nothing going on in my life right now, and the news just depresses me even more.  I guess I’m just in a really bad way right now, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get out of it.  Sigh.

Tags: career, debt, depression, despair, dream, dreams, future, God, job, life, misery
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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Remember that scene from Ghostbusters?

Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, “biblical”?
Dr Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes…
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!

Maybe it’s bravado, but strangely enough just like Venkman, I seem to be relatively ok with the fact that we’re all going to die.  No, really.  Because if this crisis is truly meant to be the beginning of we’re-all-royally-screwed-end-times judgment on America for its many sins, then I can’t think of a better way to ensure our complete and total destruction than to elect a Christ denying (yet Christ imitating) dillweed who thinks he can neutralize the threat of a nuke building Iran and a nuke ready Russia with his charm.  Really, what better way to tell God just how ridiculously irredeemable we’ve become than to elect a guy who claims to be a Christian and yet thinks a good Muslim could still make it to the pearly gates as long as he keeps the bombing of civilians to a minimum?  Hey, we’re all good people here, really(!), even if we do think having a baby is tantamount to a punishment, and if we don’t seem to be too bothered at the thought of leaving those that survived failed abortions out to die.  Not that Big-O would ever intentionally do such a thing, he just doesn’t think they merit protection of course, at least not until the kind of offensive language that dares to remotely suggest a fetus is a living thing is completely stripped from such a bill of protection.  Because you know, God forbid we should toss those whacky pro-life freaks a bone that even NARAL wouldn’t have had a problem with.  We do need to be principled here, after all.

No, I just don’t see why God would want to rain fire and brimstone on us darling cherubs of light… except for possibly giving our rich folks far too many tax breaks.

When I think about it, it’s not even Obama that I can’t stand so much.  I don’t even hate on the heathens for supporting him either, since such a godless sort devoid of any sense of morality will obviously go for the Barry-O show.  I can respect that.

No, it’s the self professing Christians who hang on every word he speaks, and who teach their children to sing musical praises of Hopey-O-Change that make me want to stomp their faces in with something rusty and spiky.

It’s no secret that I intensely dislike what passes for American Christianity today, whether we’re dealing with dimwits sipping Starbucks while they fawn over girlie boy Rick Warren’s latest perfume scented books, or Calvinist snotheads who think knowing two words in Greek makes them the most brilliant scholars in recorded history, or charismatics who scream and flail their arms in revival meetings because they think they’re “on fire” and they’re about ready to projectile vomit out a stomach’s worth of 24 karat gold.

Yet nothing makes me want to go out and start bouncing people’s heads off the cement more than those ever devout Christians drooling puppy love over that Obamanation of nature otherwise known as Barack Hussein Obama.  I am absolutely convinced that this very same flock of fluffy sheep will also someday jump at the chance to stand in line for an opportunity to lick the hairy hindquarters of the Antichrist, thinking it will taste just like rainbows.

These to me represent the most darkened, clueless minds in all of creation, and because of their depraved stupidity I may end up witnessing the one thing I never wanted to see in my lifetime: the death of my country.  Thank you so, SO much for that, my brothers and sisters in the Lord.

I don’t get it.  I really don’t.  You hate Bush?  Fine.  You think he’s a war mongering, oil happy, half brained cowboy who caters to the rich?  Fine.  I can understand that.  I even dig the pacifism thing.

Explain the abortion thing to me then.  Explain to me how the violence involved in ripping fetuses to shreds doesn’t somehow repulse your pacifist side the way “Bush’s war” does.  Because when I see people looking to extend human rights to red assed baboons or wail whenever a dolphin is caught in a net, but scream at the top of their lungs for the right to twirl up a fetus into itty bitty bits that would have otherwise become a full fledged human being, then I see only the kind of deranged, twisted up minds that no medicine on earth could ever possibly cure.

And yet somehow, you’re all ok with it.  You can relate to a guy who can’t even get the basic tenets of Christianity right, (though I admit, it would have been more palatable to me if you merely agreed with him on some points and decided only to vote for him while holding your nose at the polls.)  But no, your attitude is one of complete adoration for a morally compromised Chicago politician as if he had come from the very throne of heaven itself.  It exhibits the same kind of mentality that the Antichrist will no doubt someday feed on: unabashed adoration and unquestionable loyalty, despite the transparent seedy and evil character of your so called hero.

It almost makes me want to see the Obamanation become President, if for no other reason than to see the collective look of your ashen faces when you realize with horror that “the one” turned out to be the second coming of JC after all: JC as in Jimmy Carter that is.  Mr. Malaise has finally come back to finish the job.

You know what really frosts my Chips Ahoy cookies about all this though?  It’s the fact that I’ll have to endure the travesty that will soon come upon us, alone.  There will be no honey bunny snuggles to share my misery with while we watch our beloved country commit suicide.  No cuddly bunchikins to hold and share a sweet, tender moment with while our cities riot and burn.  Every dark day that lies ahead of me I will have to face completely and utterly alone, all because not a single one of you hateful, despicable, vile women could manage to find it in your hearts to wubs me.

Fine then.  Don’t come crying to me when the world ends and you desperately need a manly shoulder to cry on.   I won’t be there.

Well maybe I will.  I am desperate and all so who knows, perhaps I can learn to forgive and forget. 

Tags: abortion, alone, america, barack hussein obama, christian, christianity, Christians, country, death, ghostbusters, God, heathens, jimmy carter, judgment, life, living, loneliness, misery, nation, Obamanation, people, president, rick warren, single, stupidity, violence, women, women suck, world
Categories: Christians Gone Wild, Politics and Poker
 
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Well that’s assuming these whacko symptoms I’ve been experiencing lately is the result of having brain tumors. It would however explain my insanity too.

But let’s recap: It started off with my arm hurting like a son-of-a-female-dog (which I blame women for, and still do). Then my hands started feeling like they’ve been slathered with Novocaine. Then I get a neck sprain where I can’t turn all the way left without screaming for Mommy (and it’s been like this for almost two weeks now). Then my tongue gets numb on me. Seriously. The same kind of numb feeling I’ve been experiencing in my hands too.

So other than the brain tumors, it could also be: hypothyroidism, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, or some kind of neuropathic disease that would eventually result in my extremely violent and painful death. Total awesomeness, dude!

As you can imagine, this hasn’t really put me in the mood to blog lately. I’d go to a doctor, except for the fact that I hate, hate, HATE doctors. They subject you to a hundred tests that makes them a ton of money, and then when they still can’t figure out what’s wrong with you, they’ll give you some B.S. diagnosis like “chronic fatigue” just to keep you from warming up to their dirty secret that in spite of all their training, they’re still a bunch of clueless morons who don’t know a damned thing about the human body. The only time it seems they get a diagnosis right is when it happens to be for a fatal disease.

So, no doctors for me right now, thank you very much. Just in case though, I’ve been searching for Last Will and Testament templates I could use to make sure my parents quickly inherit all my belongings without any problems (including my stuffed animal collection and my Homer Simpson doll.) My laptop though I’m taking with me to my grave.

I should maybe be more concerned about this, but I guess I’m at peace now with the fact that my life has always been utterly meaningless, so it wouldn’t surprise me to see nature correct its mistake by soon putting me out of my misery.

Oy, I need to stop reading those novels by H.P. Lovecraft. It’s really making me morbid these days.

Tags: diagnosis, doctors, misery, numbness, pain, symptoms
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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Internet dating sites have now become a huge industry, with thousands of sites dedicated to either providing dating advice or dating related services. This particular industry though seems to be HIGHLY plagued by online dating sites that may in fact be craftily designed splogs (automated blogs created for the primary purpose of spamming visitors), and crooksters looking to score off your dating misery.

These type of sites can be very hard to detect sometimes, but if you have pretty good intuition, maybe you’ll get a feeling like I do that something just seems to be a little bit… off here.

That’s how I felt about the site Online Dating Tips. Upon my first visit it seemed innocent enough, tightly coded, aesthetic design, speedy load, etc.. However, it also seemed light on the content, and heavy on the affiliate links. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that apparently EVERY external link on that site was in fact a cloaked affiliate link to some of the biggest dating services on the Internet.

Hmmmm….

The content itself is split into several categories containing very short articles, which is easy to read and to be fair, really does offer some sound advice, BUT… you get the strange sense that you’ve already read it all before. Additionally, for a site that purports to be an authority on how to use online personals, it certainly comes across as a bit… impersonal. There are no personal testimonies, and no heart warming anecdotes to encourage the reader with. It all seems very bland and emotionless.

There’s a reason for this though: the content is not original. At all. My suspicions were confirmed when I copied and pasted a particular phrase from an article here and did a Google search with it. The phrase I copied was:

“Is it possible to find a soul mate online through a dating service? You bet it is…”

And lookie see here, I found another article that starts the same way. In fact, it’s the very same article. But wait! Here’s another copy of the same article. And another one here, and here, and here and…

Hmmmmmmmmm….

Could be this “dating tips” site isn’t interested in the slightest bit about helping you find your loved one, but it does seem very interested in liberating you of your money through affiliate profits. Look, I don’t begrudge anyone who does affiliate marketing since I do it too, but if that’s their only purpose and they have no intention of offering anything of value in return, then they need to get their boonie boons spanked silly.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m devastated. And here I thought I found a place where people cared. Where people truly understood my sad plight and heartfelt desire to find a snuggly tookie tums butter pot cuddle pie to call my own.

Alas, alas, it appears that such is not the case here, and I shall have to continue my search elsewhere.

Tags: advice, affiliate links, anecdotes, cloaking, dating, dating service, dating services, google, google search, internet, internet dating, intuition, love, matchmaking, misery, personals, related services, review, scam, soul mate, sound advice, spam, spamming, splog, splogging, suspicions, tips, tricks
Categories: Romance and Relationships, Tangled Webs
 
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The week is finally drawing to a close, and I’m stuck here at work for a few more hours with no one to talk to, and no one to chat with on my instant messaging list. Evidently the rest of the world had already made plans for Friday night that didn’t include me.

What a week too. From problems at work to struggling with my acid reflux problem, I’ve seen better days for sure. January was largely a crappy month, and so far 2007 is shaping up to be yet another crappy ass year. I’m fighting to change that though, but some days I feel like I’m not making any headway.

It always seems to be this time of week where my depression suddenly descends over me like a dark cloud, and I feel the full weight of the world on my shoulders. I guess I can understand why though, because of my work schedule I’m usually working Friday nights by myself at the office, so while everyone has an early jump on their weekend, I’m pretty much left here all by my lonesome.

It is then that a deep melancholy settles in when I realize I won’t be getting any calls from any good friends, nor will there be any surprise drop-ins from a loved one just to keep me company. I am a forgotten man.

How did it get to this point? I blame it largely on my health, which has deteriorated over the years because I’m not man enough to deal with my stress the right way. Sure, I’ve had some hard times in the past, even awful times. But I’ve only prolonged my misery by not rolling with the punches. I just let myself be beaten down by life, and it’s a miracle that I would still have some willpower left over to get up off the mat and try again.

But this time I fear I may already be down for the count. This acid reflux issue has me thinking I’ll never be healthy again, not without risking major surgery, and it’s completely draining my resolve. Only God can pull me out of the abyss, and it remains to be seen whether I’ve exhausted all of His grace to no longer be worthy of His aid, or whether His mercy will save me yet again.

I’m tired. I want to go home and sleep, sleep until I can dream those dreams where my life had taken a completely different path than the one it’s on now. A life where where I learn how to make good friends and keep them. A life where I finally meet my soulmate and better half. A life where I can and do make a difference. Such dreams are lovely, dark and deep…

…but I have miles to go before I can sleep.

Tags: abyss, acid reflux, better days, dark cloud, depression, friday night, good friends, headway, ins, melancholy, miracle, misery, resolve, rest of the world, willpower
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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