I got contacted by a guy via StumbleUpon, and turns out he’s a conservative blogger with a site called the Tygrrrr Express. Writes pretty good (and funny) blogging dissertations ranging from politics to the NFL from what I could tell, and according to his About page, blogging to him is a “shameless ploy to get what I really want, which is to be sandwiched between two hot republican Jewish brunettes.”

Gee, and here I thought I was the only one with such a fantasy.

He’s also in the running for the Blogger’s Choice Awards for Best Political Blog, and amazingly enough he’s actually ahead of Michelle Malkin, currently in fourth place. I’d be happy enough just to see him beat out the fu–, uhh, I mean, the very ugly fartbats at Daily Kos. Go give him a vote if you think his blog measures up.

I earlier professed my love for Michelle Malkin, but I think I can make some room for Ann Coulter too, especially after reading a recent article about her where she talks about her faith and religion in general. This is a woman who might arguably be the most hated and most villified commentator in contemporary politics today. I’ve never seen anyone who could provoke the most violent of reactions with merely a spoken or written word as she’s been able to do, time and time again.

I think Miss Coulter is of the breed who say out loud what many people only think, but who’d never dare make their true feelings known mainly because they’re spineless weenies who just want everybody to like them. They’re the sort that would cry into their pillows at night if their social network suffered somewhat because they managed to express a point of view that not everyone might agree with.

But not my Annie. If there was anyone in public life whose personality most closely mirrored my own, it’d be her. A lot of people think she is just a self promoting bomb thrower who doesn’t believe half of what she writes (or says), but if she’s anything like me, then I think her drive and belief system is based mostly on the personality of a woman who has an unusually low tolerance for stupidity and bull@#$%. I might also add that if her talent for hurling outrageous invective (which for many has the analogous effect of fingernails on a chalkboard) has also proven to be a profitable one, then I say, good for her.

But it’s not so much her feisty manner and fiery tongue that I find so endearing. Rather, it’s her ability to withstand the brutally and completely unhinged venom she evokes from her critics. From magazines calling for Coulter to go kill herself, to late night talk show hosts suggesting that she get fixed up with O.J., the attacks against her are relentless, obscene, and downright hypocritical, especially when one of their many gripes with Ann Coulter is that she’s mean spirited (all the while referring to her in coarse 4 letter terms that shall not be repeated here). As thick as one’s skin can be, and despite the belief that she revels in such vitriol, I’m sure being human some of it must get to her.

I wonder if there were times when she tried to be more discreet, or perhaps even exerted a herculean effort to be… well… nice, only to eventually fail and go right back to bashing the wacko liberals for all they’re worth. God knows I’ve tried, and while I think I’ve been more successful at times than Miss Coulter has been, it takes merely some wayward comment from some smarmy liberal to get a rise out of me again, causing me in true Gladiator form to unleash hell in all its fury. Truth be told though, I really don’t want to be this way, and as much as I admire her, I don’t think Miss Coulter should be this way either. Personally, I’d rather just be an amiable guy who can put everyone at ease and be generally liked by all (even if that means having to keep my opinions to myself and basically being a spineless wuss). But it’s just not my style, and I don’t know if it ever will be.

What depresses me is that few people would seem to understand this mentality. As I continue to walk the earth looking for that one true soulmate, I wonder if she’ll be able to understand my personality and why I’m continually enraged by so much of what I see happening in the world today. I know Ann Coulter would understand me. Indeed, she’s one of the very few people out there who I think could. But does that mean my ideal match would be an Ann Coulter clone? God no. I think me being paired up with an Ann Coulter would be more than what the world can take anyway.

Ironically enough, I think the only true remedy in my case is a beauty capable of soothing the savage beast within me. Truth be told, I need a gentle soul who can see past the raging animal persona I present to the world and see me for who I am: a wounded creature that just needs someone to love him.

But since that will never happen, my Ann Coulter psyche will continue to live on. Bring on the moonbats so I may feed upon their rancid carcasses!