Feeling kinda blah today, trying to resign myself to the reality that Hitler: Part 2 will soon be moving into the White House (a name he’ll probably be changing too.)

It makes me wonder what life will be like in this brave new world that will soon come upon us.  A world where Iran goes nuclear, the big bear of Russia rears its ugly head yet again, and our status as a superpower (and even a sovereign nation) finally comes to an end.  A world where high taxes cripples our society in order to pay for monumentally absurd bailouts and massive social programs run by a den of incompetent bureaucrats and corrupt government officials even as our economy lies in ruins.  A world where gas prices reach astronomically high levels while promised alternative energy sources continue to be out of reach and impossible to implement.  A world where race wars seem imminent as our government continues to provide handouts and freebies to minorities while shunning the white folks (who’s had it good for too long anyway) and reducing their status to second class citizens.  A world where Obama’s catastrophic failures and broken promises will be blamed on Bush even though he is no longer in office.   A world where troops are prematurely withdrawn from Iraq and it once again falls into violent chaos.  A world where Georgia loses its sovereignty after Russia completely overwhelms it and takes over its crucial oil pipelines.  A world where terrorists will have nuclear powered bombs on loan from Iran to attack America with.  A world where sexual deviancy is promoted through abortion on demand and by diluting the sanctity of marriage.  A world where the greed of our financial markets and the burst of our real estate bubble puts us in one of the severest depressions in history.

A world where I still don’t have a girlfriend. 

I have no idea when this crap aired, but evidently there was a show highlighting the dating woes of 30-something women, which somehow devolved into how Islam is great and we should all go ass up 5 times a day and change our names to Ahmed Akalahu Mukababah Habib Al Mulla Wulla (or some such 50 syllable name that’s guaranteed not to fit on a standard criminal rap sheet form.)

Before it did though, I managed to glean some interesting quotes:

Like many single women in America, Julie is no stranger to the dating scene — but finding dates isn’t always the problem. “It’s not that there are no men to date. It’s that I’m not meeting anyone that I’m attracted to. Nobody that I think is quality and worthy of me and what I have to offer and what I want to do.”

Evidently chiseled, flawless men programmed to hand over their balls and debit cards seem to be in low supply these days. Remember what I said about women looking for sperm donation rather than men? Well now:

Now Julie thinks marriage may not even be what she wants. Instead of waiting around for a husband, she’s considering having a child on her own. “I’m probably going to investigate an anonymous donor and do it artificially … I want it to be my own biological child,” she says.

Funny how that works. For these type of women, marriage is merely a means to an end, and once their REAL objective has been realized, the husband is promptly forgotten and expected to fade into obscurity. The very notion that he might still expect a little bit of companionship and affection after children enter the picture seems to completely baffle them. “I gave you children, isn’t that enough?!? Go away you pathetic sissy!”

Yeah, just can’t imagine why they’d have trouble finding a guy who’d go for a deal like this.

Then there’s the divorced Mommies:

Amy also realizes that a woman with kids isn’t what every guy is
looking for. “I don’t consider children baggage. I think they’re the
bonus piece to the set, but there are a lot of men who don’t see it
that way,” she says.

Mainly because some of us would prefer not to be the new Daddy to your little bastard children. Not that I have anything against the turdlings, it’s just that I grew up in an environment where everyone around me had “step” in front of their names, and the experience hasn’t exactly warmed me to the idea of taking on someone else’s kids. But that’s just me.

I have to tell you though, reading crap like this isn’t exactly filling me with hope here. I know I’m not much of a catch, but I’d need to have the engine of the space shuttle installed up my junky jongs just to reach the friggingly ridiculous high bar these whiny donkey hos set for us men. But that’s ok, in the spirit of equitable exchange they will be perfectly willing to give us… well… nothing.

And they say romance is dead.

Every now and then I’m reminded that I don’t have the suckiest life in existence, and there are worst things in this world than being a virginal weenie tot who can’t get a girl to pay attention to him for more than .25 seconds.

The latest reminder came when a friend of mine told me about an old buddy of his who was currently going through a rough patch. Apparently the dude was a few years younger than me, had a wife in her late twenties and a 12 month old kid. In her unmitigated brilliance, the wife decided that a 45 year old hairy ape of a man (unemployed by the way) was somehow more appealing to her than a stable, loyal husband, so she ups and runs away with him.

Naturally, the husband’s a little upset about this. He works in a leadership position at a church, and eventually confided in his senior pastor about his embarrassing marital problem. The pastor (along with the church) did what any loving, caring, modern day Christian church would do when presented with a brother in Christ who was clearly in a lot of pain and grief.

They fired him.

After all, having somebody wailing in the pews like that is just bad publicity for the church, which no doubt needed to maintain its seeker sensitive image of sunshine and happiness and lollipop happy dappy joy joy joyness, lest they should start to lose members (and their tithes.)

It’s nothing personal you know, just business.

By the time my friend caught up with him he was drowning his sorrows in a pool of alcohol at some local bar.

Ahhhh, women and churches. Two of the greatest evils to ever bedevil the days of man. Yeah yeah, I know I’m painting with a widey ass brush there, but dammit, it’s what I do, sugar bear.

On a somewhat more sobering note though, there’s a verse in Scripture I keep getting reminded of whenever I ponder over the misery of my nonexistent dating life (and the plight of the churches today):

“Because iniquity shall abound, the love of many will wax cold.” - Matthew 24:12

Even though I’ve been fixated on the appalling lack of charity women have demonstrated towards me (except the beloved readers of my blog, how I wubs you all), this a disease I think that has really permeated all of society, especially in places where the notion and practice of true love should have been most evident (like say, a church.)

It also explains why I’ve always believed the odds of finding my honey bunny snuggly snookum wugs wouldn’t notably improve if I started attending church again. They are just as cold within as they are without, so really, what would be the point? Hugging a crate full of frozen fish would give me more warmth than these churches do.

Meh, that’s a topic for another day though. In the meantime, suffice it to say, as much as I might express bitterness and vile acidic venom towards all things Christian and womenly, once you dig past that rough, wounded exterior of mine, you’ll find I really am… all about love, baby.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, yeaaaah….

You’re my first, the last, my everything,

My kind of wonderful, that’s what you are!

Found an interesting Dear Dr. Graham letter in an advice column today:

Dear Dr. Graham: I’ve fallen in love with a woman I work with, and I sincerely believe God brought us together.

But my wife got very upset when she found out and I told her I wanted a divorce.

What a sad world we live in when even our own wives try to get in the way of true love.

A new study reveals that women who wed men who are uglier than they will have a happier marriage than those with a more attractive mate.

In couples where the wife is the hotter one, both parties seem to be content, found a study of 82 newlywed duos in the Journal of Family Psychology.

---

Source: NY Daily News

Well yippie kai yay for normally b.s. psycho studies. I think they finally got a clue here.

Of course my luck would have me living in a town where any given hot woman here is so mind numbingly deprived of intelligence that she can’t even wise up to this little factoid, despite being on husband #5. Face it, we hairy-butt faces make far better lovers than the chiseled dweebs you chose to go with.

Of course, it’s also entirely possible that I’m being too hard on myself here, and the reason why I’m having so much trouble finding a date is because I am in fact, just so damned good looking.

Oh well, I guess that’s a cross I’ll just have to bear.

Then I would suggest you run for your F*&%ing life, and don’t look back.