Man | The Habitation of Justice

In Defense of Men: Tim Challies and Richard Phillips Not Included

Lincoln Adams | March 1, 2010 @ 4:06 pm

There’s no love lost between me and mainstream Christian writers, especially those whose shoddily written books sell a bazoolion copies simply because their audience are complete morons who just vacu-suck in everything their pastor spoonfeeds them without an individual thought of their own.

But every now and then somebody comes along and says or writes something that just begs for a smackdown by yours truly. Case in point, a relatively obscure blogger named Tim Challies quotes from a book written by an even more obscure Christian author:

“One of the biggest problems in the church today is the failure of young adult men to value and pursue marriage.”

Apparently the quote is lifted from Phillips’s book, “The Masculine Mandate: God’s Calling to Men,” which is yet another book that purports to tell men how they’re supposed to behave and act using disjointed scriptural references and quotes from pop culture TV shows like Seinfeld. Or was that “Wild at Heart?”

Challies’ endorsement of this quote would typify the behavior that one finds in the modern metrosexual male. Like clones of Max Lucado, Challies and Phillips seem to me to be the kind of feminized men who write in pink notebooks and breastfeed their own children. The perpetually and nauseatingly effeminate manner in which they criticize men for every evil in the world demonstrates that “regeneration” apparently did nothing to divorce their attitude towards men from how the rest of the world perceives us. Which is, as amphibian bio-waste that needs to be neutralized from existence.

Tim Challies’s quote from Rich Phillips is ironic considering the misogynist overtones of Scripture (not that the verses are in fact misogynistic, it just appears that way) especially in Ecclesiastes. We are told that for every thousand righteous men, there is only one righteous woman in that same bunch, if even that. And Solomon would know a thing or two about that, having gone through at least 700 wives. :blink: (Ecclesiastes 7:26-29)

Phillips/Challies appear to be too numbnutted to believe that the failure of a marriage might actually involve two people instead of just the man. Indeed, it seems to me the primary perpetrators of evil in our increasingly feministic society are women, not men. The divorce courts favor women, while our laws give women special status in almost every aspect of their lives. Women can also falsely accuse men of rape and destroy their lives with absolutely no risk of consequence. The entertainment industry also constantly denigrates and insults men at every turn. How could this relentless bombardment of male bashing not seep into the thinking of even well intentioned women (including Challies)?

And they wonder why men might not value marriage anymore? Seriously?

Personally, I’ve given up on the idea of marriage or even dating. I have accepted that there is simply no single woman out there left that is worth my time and aggravation. The neurosis (teh crazies!!1), the self absorption and the utter sense of supremacy gets old after a while. Who can find a virtuous woman? Certainly not I. As a result, I have admittedly become very bitter about it, but I am slowly learning to accept that Paul was right, I am in fact better off single. Of course women who see this will say the reason I haven’t found anyone is because I’m bitter, or ugly or otherwise undesirable. They have absolved and divorced themselves of any accountability in regards to their despicable behavior whatsoever. It is ALWAYS the man’s fault. I’m single? Gotta be my fault and my fault alone. Women are but darling cherubs of light to which it is nigh on impossible for them to do any wrong. Right. And I got two bridges in Brooklyn I’d like to sell you.

Since our supposedly Christian stalwarts of the community appear completely vacuous in their analysis of what ails marriages today, I’ll try to fill in the void with my common sense approach to the matter.

Marriage is a two way street. It’s not about pleasing yourself, it’s about pleasing your spouse and doing what makes him OR her happy. Women should not go ahead of their husbands and should let him take the lead. Men in return should not treat their wives as doormats but with love and respect, and should not be afraid to make command decisions either. Each spouse should have their due affection rendered them, whether it comes in wumpsy snugglies or other things. Let the strength of one complement the weakness of the other.

See? How fricking hard was that? It certainly beats the advice of telling men they need to camp out a lot in the wilderness like that schmuck for brains John Eldredge does in his book “Wild at Heart.” Oy.

Maybe I should write a book myself. :ggrin:

Tags: affection, analysis, books, christian, christian author, church, divorce, effeminate, husband, male bashing, man, marriage, marriages, men, metrosexual, misogyny, relationships, Scripture, wife, woman, women, women suck
Categories: Christians Gone Wild

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What if the dream were a reality?

Lincoln Adams | December 10, 2008 @ 6:14 pm

I’ve been pining for the girl of my dreams ever since I was a wee one and had my heart broken by an 8 year old who tore up my Valentine’s card and then kicked me in the shinny. Since then, over the years my dream girl had always become nothing more than a part of my fantasies, a figment of the imagination, an image in my dreams, yet never someone who was truly real.

But what if… she were?

Something happened a few days ago that made me realize it was not only possible, but it was indeed a reality, a reality that God Himself was going to make happen. It was no longer a question of whether she existed or not, but when she would finally reveal herself and change my life forever.

She IS real. The revelation of that was finally beginning to dawn on me.

So why am I so panicked about it? :wideeyed:

In a way I think I’ve grown comfortable in my misery. It was a safe place to be, absent of any responsibility or any obligation whatsoever of having to work at a real, honest-to-goodness relationship. That she would exist meant my life as I knew it was soon going to end, and I no longer had an excuse to be a bum anymore.

It meant I had to get my act together and start training myself to be the man she needed me to be. Strong, healthy, loyal, disciplined, loving, caring, confident… you know, all those things I’ve never been before?

Hmmmmm…

As I think about it, if she really is the girl of my dreams, someone who is gorgeous, warm-hearted, virtuous, humble, loving and gorgeous, then why should she be punished for ending up with someone like me?

I might just decide not to change my life after all, only because I wouldn’t want her life ruined for being stuck with a mooch-ball like me. She deserves better. She deserves a REAL man, not some dweeb monkey who swoons to the melodic sounds of Air Supply.

Yep, I think I’m actually behaving like a real man’s man here by taking the easy way out, that way I can continue living the self destructive life I’ve been living for oh, 10 odd years now. I’m sure she’ll find somebody else too, and I can continue to pine after her in my perfect fantasies where I have super powers and perpetually rescue her from the dark, evil forces of the Znorg Empire, and if I ever get bored of that, then I can always get lost in my collection of my favorite Nancy Drew mystery games. You see? It’s all win-win baby.

… … … … … right? :blink:

Tags: air supply, discipline, dream, dream girl, dreams, fantasies, girl, girl of my dreams, God, health, imagination, man, misery, reality, relationship, revelation, safe place, Valentine
Categories: Romance and Relationships

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Walking Like A Man

Lincoln Adams | November 26, 2008 @ 1:34 am

I hate women.

I hate them because in order to attract one, I have to prove that I don’t need one, (or at least act like I don’t need one.) Only women could come up with these kind of circular fudge nuts rules that they lay down like a psychological mine field, which in the course of dating history has become riddled with the dead bodies of once sane men.

It’s ok for a girl to pine away for her Prince Charming, and we men will all think it’s cute and adorable and it makes us want her even more, but God forbid we should yearn for our own personal Belle, because see, that just makes us weenie and completely undesirable to the fairer sex.

It’s the kind of thing that can make a grown man like me cry and go completely mad.

Well fine then. Bye bye baby, and I don’t-a mean maybe, gonna get along somehow, :nyah:

Soon you’ll be crying’, on account of all your lying, :wah:

Oh yeah, just look who’s laughin’ now! :rofl:

(I’m gonna…)

Walk like a man, fast as I can,

Walk like a man from yooooooou,

I’ll tell the world, “Forget about it, girl!”

And walk like a man from you!

WooooOOOOOoooooOOOooOOoooo!

:dance4:

Tags: belle, dating, demotivator, girl, God, man, song, women, women suck
Categories: Romance and Relationships

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Craigslist is so NOT a cool place to find women

Lincoln Adams | August 6, 2008 @ 8:10 pm

Yep, I got another rejection letter lined up, this time in response to a Craigslist ad that I could swear I never posted, and yet somehow it got posted anyway. Don’t worry though, this is my last one because I am so, so, SO done with this whole dating-relationship crap. I am finally going full on Lone Ranger here, and bite me all of you who think I can’t be happy being single.

So anyways, why am I rejecting this one? Because dude, she totally looked like a guy. Seriously. She’s British though, so that might explain a few things, but still, dude, she really totally looked like a guy. Here’s my farewell email to her:

Dear Look-Like-A-Man,

I wanted to like you. I really did. But see, here’s the thing: you look like a man. A man wearing a pretty blonde wig, but a man nonetheless.

I can deal with plain looking women. I can deal with women who are overweight. I can deal with women who have disabilities and missing body parts (unless it’s the head maybe.) I can even deal with women who watch reality shows. I cannot however, in this life or the next, deal with a woman who looks like a man.

Even slightly mannish features creep me out in ways not even Richard Simmons could do. There’s just no way I could see myself embracing you intimately or puckering up to give you a kissy without my inwards screaming out, “MAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!”

So you see, it’s not you, it’s me. I do hope though that you will someday meet that special guy who thinks a mustache on a woman is sexy, and that the two of you will be very happy together. I however, must sadly follow another path.

So, best of luck to you, and here’s a little parting advice: do try to shave every now and then, ok?

Much love,

Lincoln

No of course I didn’t send it, but I was in a conundrum. I didn’t want to blow her off, but I didn’t want to tell her straight up that I was only interested in women who looked like women either, so what’s a stud like me to do?

Then a thought came to me: make her think she’s rejecting ME instead. Brilliant! :bulb:

So I did some surfing to find the dweebiest, weeniest photo that still looked authentic enough for me to use as a picture of “myself,” then wrote her a friendly email in which I casually mentioned being heavily in debt and living with my parents, but she needn’t worry, I worked a prestigious job as a low-level clerk, so it should only be just a few more years before I can finally move out on my own. Say, when I’m 36 or so…

Here’s the photo I used. Poor guy, whoever he is I hope he never sees this post: