Generally, it takes ten years for a woman to fall in love with a man.  I’m serious people, this is science, look it up.

Things might move along a wee little faster though if you put some muscle into it and work 24/7 to get a girl to fall for you.  Then perhaps after spending enough time, effort, money, (and then a little more money), and much sweating of blood and tears, she will finally deem you worthy of her love.  Maybe.

But in the meantime you have to do all the heavy lifting, huffing and puffing your way into her heart, and if you’re a sensible enough guy you might start thinking somewhere along the way, “What woman short of Queen Esther herself would be worth all this aggravation?”

I mean really.

I look at creation and all I see is an ocean of women who are self centered, fickle, manipulative, ball crushing, man hating hell-beasts that were handcrafted in the bowels of perdition by the iniquitous and the vile.

But for most guys, they’re perfectly willing to traverse this minefield as long as it gets them the BOOTY.  The acquisition of booty has therefore become the driving force of their existence.  But for a Christian guy like me, it’s not the booty I want, it’s the luuuuuuuuuuuuurv.  But women today, for whatever reason seem to be far more willing to give over their bodies than they are in giving over their hearts.  Maybe it’s because they have no heart to begin with? 

I might indeed be the last of my kind, a guy who wants romance and love and lots of wubbly snuggles, but in this day and age, there seems to be no one left who can truly fulfill those needs.  When I look at a girl, there never seems to be anything compelling about her that would make her worth the effort, or worth the chase.  And the thing that really kills it for me is the utter lack of empathy.  There’s just no warmth, no sense of caring, no concern about my life or interest in me as a person.  If I poured out my heart to them they would be unmoved by it all.  They just don’t care.  They’re lukewarm, neither hot nor cold.

So why would I want to fight for a woman like that?  You could be more beautiful than a setting sun, but if you have a heart of stone, if you give me absolutely no incentive to make it worth my while, why should I even bother?  I’m the kind of guy who just wants to hear these words:

It’s hearing that kind of heart, that kind of passion that would tell me you’re worth fighting for, indeed worth moving even heaven and earth for.  But I fear those words will never come.

Yeah, I think it’s time I gave up this silly dream of finding my soulmate and true love and whatnot, and finally moved on with my life, even if that means having to juice myself up with mega doses of Prozac just so I can numb out these feelings and keep them from consuming me.

Living the life of an emotional zombie has never looked better.