Tag Archives | job

I’m still alive! Sort of.

Written by on February 28, 2011
Filed Under Personal Reflections

Since I got back from Boston I was bit by the flu bug, or cold bug, or whatever it was that caused my throat to constrict and me to projectile vomit half eaten cannolis while my head spinned 360 degrees.

But I’m feeling MUCH better now.

Only problem is, this week is a killer. First I have to do a training seminar to learn a new system that will never be implemented, and even if it will be, it has nothing whatsoever to do with my work duties, so I’m pretty much having my time completely wasted that could have better been spent doing you know, actual real work? Especially since I have to catch up after being off for almost two weeks.

Then it’s my mother’s birthday, so I’m running around trying to find balloons and cakes and whatnot so she can have a halfway decent birthday, even though she hates balloons and cakes and all that fanfare. So why am I getting them anyway, you ask? Because the one time I neglected to get balloons when she insisted to me, day and night, that she absolutely did NOT WANT balloons, or a cake, or any kind of decoration whatsoever, her birthday arrives and the first thing that comes out of her mouth is, “Where are my balloons?!?” From that moment on I’ve learned to completely disregard her wishes when it comes to birthdays (or any other festive occasion.)

Then I have to see the eye doctor, to see (no pun intended) if I’m like going blind and stuff, since I have borderline IOPs on account of all the stress that’s been inflicted on my eyes from viewing ugly dating profiles at OKCupid.

And then the very next day after THAT I have to take a promotional exam, of which I’ll need to nail a perfect score on if I’m to have any chance whatsoever of transferring out of this sewage facility of an office and getting a meager pay bump, after oh, only 11 years on the job.

Sigh.

After the exam the worst of it should be over though, and I’ll have a few days to prep for my very next adventure: Crashing SXSW in Texas, baby! YEAH! Maybe I can finally meet me a hot cowgirl who will love me up simply for the novelty factor of having dated a honest to goodness New York Yankee. Ok that may not be true love, but I’ll take what I can get. :-D

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Developing My Travel Muse

Written by on January 26, 2011
Filed Under Blogging

I haven’t written anything in a while, partly because nobody reads my crap anymore, and partly because I can’t really figure out how I can write anything of substance on a daily basis. Yet if I’m to succeed in turning my writing into a career, I’ll have to find a way, somehow.

The reason I’m making this my goal now is because I read a study that the more popular a blog was, the more content it dished out on a regular basis. The average seemed to be about one post a day before the numbers start to level out, so I guess that should be my objective: one post a day. It doesn’t have to be epic obviously, but it should be engaging enough to attract the reader into coming back for more. If only I lived the kind of lifestyle that could draw the audience in and help develop a community around my crazy adventures, but I don’t. At least not now.

Instead, I work the most mind numbingly boring job in existence, a government job that saddles me with absolutely vacuous drone work and groups me in with shriveled up seahags, most of who have the mental acuity of a brain damaged snail. It’s a miracle that I can still manage to find my way home after ten years of this insanity.

Coupled with the fact that I have no social life, and thus my life is void of any drama (which is both good and bad), I haven’t been able to come up with much in the way of blogging fodder.

Most professional bloggers though simply resort to writing bland, forgettable content and follow a specific format. For one, they use bullet points to emphasize certain points under the assumption that their readers are complete morons. And they’ll often title their posts with phrases like “29 Ways to Travel Light” or “18 Tips to help You Save Money during your stay at Disney World.” Why? Because that’s what the experts tell them all to do. It’s a writing structure that makes it easier for readers to scan your content before they click away to read something else. Most users online have a limited attention span, so bloggers are instructed to present their content in such a way to make it easy and quick to read. It’s the nature of the Internet, and honestly, there’s really nothing inherently wrong with taking this approach.

Except the fact that 100 million other aspiring bloggers all do the same thing.

See, I can’t write like that. My writing only seems to hit its stride when I focus more on telling a story rather than informing the audience on the virtues of not forgetting to pack your underwear when you’re taking a trip somewhere. Unfortunately, my writing style is not a consistent money maker, so I can either adapt and be like everyone else, or go my own way and be poor.

And yes, as stupid as it sounds, I would rather be different than be rich. That’s just how I roll. It’s why I buck social norms and do virtually the opposite of what everyone else does. When most people take their vacations in the summer, I take it in the winter so I can avoid the crowds. People go up, I go down. They go to Disney World, I go to Bob and Mike’s Funsie-Fun Amusement Park, when the kids are still in school.

I’m an off-season kind of guy, and I like it that way.

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2010 – FINALLY a year that didn’t suck flaming hogballs

Written by on December 31, 2010
Filed Under Personal Reflections

For as long as I can remember, every time a year came to an end I would curse it, spit at it, then kick it in the groin and declare good riddance as I eagerly awaited for the ball to drop to finally put that crap year out of its misery.

But for the first time that I can remember, I’m actually sad to see the year go. Where the Zeros continuously served up one tall glass after another of FAIL, 2010 instead turned out to be a refreshing bowl of WIN, topped off with a sugary dose of AWESOME.

So what made this year so special? Well…

  • It began with my first ever trip to Boston last February. I had so much fun that I was effectively bitten by the travel bug, and I knew my life would never be the same again. My blog would also complete its metamorphosis from a blog where I whined about my failure of a life, to a blog about traveling and geocaching. Although I still whine every now and then, just to a slightly lesser degree. :-D
  • After that trip, I invested in completely upgrading my desktop for the first time in 8 years. I now have a powerhorse that can not only play all the latest games but also makes it SO much easier for me to work on my many blogging projects.
  • By this time (after purchasing my new computer) I was breaking records with the income I was generating from my blog. 2010 would prove to be the most lucrative year I’ve ever had in terms of sponsorships, revenues and giveaways I received as a direct result of blogging.
  • Then came the long awaited GPS cradle for the iPod Touch that I had been pining to get my hands on for months. This was one of the most CRUCIAL purchases I have ever made. It not only made it feasible to use my iPod for geocaching, but it also powered all my geolocation apps from Whrrl to Navigon. It allowed me to do everything I ever wanted to do with an actual iPhone, at least until it finally becomes available on the Verizon network (hopefully next month!)
  • And then came… the MACBOOK. If 2010 had been nothing but a pit of death and destruction, my MacBook’s arrival alone would have ensured that 2010 would still go down as the GREATEST year in history.
  • Although not as important or exciting, It’s still worth noting that this was the year my car received its 60,000 mile service. It’s one of the most extensive (and expensive) service jobs to ever have done for your car, but once it was out of the way I was confident I could rely on my beautiful ride for another 60,000 miles, as well as for the future road trips I was planning.
  • 2010 also marked the first time I ever went to a Drive-In movie theater. The movie sucked, but the food was teh awesum.
  • I would finally, at long last, transform my wardrobe from Walmart drags to Banana Republic/Gap awesomeness. Let it be known that from now on if a girl rejects me, I will at least have the consolation of knowing it wasn’t because I was donning a $5 sweatshirt from Wally World.
  • I also joined Collective Bias, a marketing agency that opened doors for new sponsorships, new possibilities for generating revenue for my blog, as well as a trip to Las Vegas to attend BlogWorld.
  • In October I began my first ever road trip, traveling over 4,000 miles to at least 14 different states. and at least 20 different cities. The experience will stay with me forever.
  • I experienced my first ever car accident too, just outside of Columbus, Ohio.
  • I hadn’t flown on an airplane since I was 14, but that streak was finally broken when I flew to Vegas to attend BlogWorld with my friend Casey. It was also the first time I have ever gone on a flight on my own.
  • And of course, VEGAS! Easily one of the noisiest, busiest and most unbearable cities I have ever been to. Not even the buffets could lure me back there again. The trip to Vegas also marked the first time I’ve ever attended a major conference like BlogWorld as well.
  • After 7 or more years, I would finally meet one of my closest friends, Casey, who discovered my previous blog circa 2003, and has been a thorn on my side ever since. :-D While in Arkansas I had the pleasure of meeting his wife, kids and parents, and in a unusual twist of fate we met up again only a few weeks later, this time on my home turf in New York. For you Psych enthusiasts, I am the Shawn to his Gus, and occasionally vice versa, although we don’t know what started first. It’s like the chicken or the egg, minus the chicken. And possibly the egg.
  • While in Las Vegas I could honestly say the biggest highlight of my trip was meeting Bailey of MakeoverMomma.com. To meet such a beautiful woman who was also hearing impaired like me, but so fiercely determined not to let that keep her down was inspiring. Meeting her family was also a treat and gives me a reason now to visit Virginia in the future. I am so blessed to have her as a friend as well.
  • And finally, I would close the year out with a trip to New Hampshire for an early Christmas getaway, where I took an unbelievable driving tour of the gorgeous White Mountains and feasted on the bestest nachos and pancakes evahs!!11!1 The trip also gave me the occasion to meet yet another Internet friend, who by now I’m sure regrets that decision. LOL, I keed, I keed… I hope.

After all that, it makes me wonder how 2011 will stack up in comparison. Can the new year continue to carry the torch of awesomeness just as 2010 did? There’s certainly a lot expected to happen for 2011 that makes me hopeful. For one, it will mark the arrival of the iPhone on Verizon. YES, YES, THANK YOU GOD, YES.

Not only that but I will probably purchase my first iPad too when the second generation comes out, completing my trifecta of owning an iPhone, MacBook and iPad. I will be an unstoppable force of ubergeekness then.

I also have a few trips and meetups planned already, beginning with a meetup with Bailey in the city in January, then again in February when she comes to attend the fashion show. I trust by then she can sneak me in so I can ensconce myself in a sea of the world’s hottest models, where any one of them could be looking for a downtown man like me. Just like Billy Joel says, so it must be true! :-D

After that I would immediately flee New York (on Valentine’s Day no less) for a trip to Portland, Maine (and possibly beyond), a return to New Hampshire for a day or two, and finally a four day stay at Boston, where everybody knows my name, and they’re always glad I came.

March will be even crazier with a flight to Texas(!!!), where I meet up with Casey again at SXSW for a few days of Texan BBQ, funsies, and possible new networking contacts (read: people who can save me from my current dead-end job.) After SXSW I might rent a car and take a drive from Austin to Dallas for a few extra days of sightseeing around the state before returning home.

In April or May I’m planning another trip to Tennessee for a week long stay in the Smokies, hoping this time around I’ll have a chance to explore Knoxville and some of the surrounding areas before vegging out once again in a gorgeous luxury log cabin. Tee hee. It will also give me a chance to stay in Virginia for a night and meet Bailey and her family again (at which point I have to think that they’re all going to get sick of me by then, lolz.)

After that things get a little fuzzy. There’s a travel blog conference taking place in Vancouver in June and as much as I want to visit the city, I’m not sure it might be worth the investment then. There’s also the tornado chasing expedition I want to join in late June or July in Colorado, something I need to keep hush hush because my mother would be very upset if she knew what I was up to.

I do know it’s a given I’m going to be in either Colorado or somewhere in the Rockies for my 35th birthday in August, because there is absolutely no way in HELL that I am going to be celebrating that here in stinky New York.

2011 could also possibly be the year I travel abroad for the first time. My friend Casey will be traveling to Germany sometime in the fall and I may (permission pending) tag along for the ride, presuming there’s enough room in the trunk to hold me.

The only downside I’m seeing for 2011 has to do with my blog. Despite the record breaking year I had in generating income from it, my traffic level actually went DOWN by 10 percent for the year, and Google reduced my ranking from a PageRank of a studly 5 to a paltry 3, effectively setting all my efforts to bring in traffic back 2 years. Thanks Google! Motherf—- but anyhow, something will have to give in 2011, otherwise my blogging income will eventually evaporate, along with my dreams of becoming a full-time and self-employed blogger AND my ability to travel on a semi-regular basis.

For 2011, it’s make or break time. Bring it, baby.

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Taking a break in front of the fireplace

Written by on October 21, 2010
Filed Under Travelogues

I took some timeout from blogging to give myself a chance to soak in the utter awesomeness of the log cabin I’m staying at in the Smokies. Still have to write about my trip to Vegas, and I have a few other posts in the queue that I need to flesh out as well, but once I get a chance to get my writing juices flowing, they should be up soon.

I’m learning a lot about my stay in the Smokies here, which should lay down the groundwork for a more satisfying trip in the future. I just did not have time to explore everything AND relax in my jacuzzi at the cabin at the same time, so I could only choose between one or the other. Guess which one I chose. :-D

All that remains now is to make myself a batch of Serendipity’s Frrrozen Hot Chocolate, light up my Gingerbread Latte scented candle from Victoria’s Candles, and enjoy one last morning in front of the fireplace with a gorgeous mountain backdrop before I pack up and head for Asheville, the last major stop I make before heading home. Getting depressed just thinking about it too.

But oh well, let’s not think about the horrors that await me at home and at my sucky MacSucko sucking-the-suck of a suckheaded sucktastic job just yet.

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My Job Is Out To Get Me

Written by on September 27, 2010
Filed Under My Job

Ok, it’s official. My job (and I don’t mean my coworkers) is a living, breathing evil sentient being that has made it its number one mission to destroy my sanity until all that is left of me is a drooling shell of a man cowering in a corner at the looney bin humming Archies tunes.

Five days left before I undertake the biggest road trip I’ve ever done in my life. And in that five day stretch, my workload has suddenly decided to increase by tenfold, inexplicably. Plus I have to do field work all week long, and of course the weather forecast is rain, rain, pouring rain, more than the rains on the plains of Spain… while the world’s turning circles running round my brain…

And some of my coworkers have taken the next few days off too.

Yep, my disgustingly evil and self-aware job has seen it upon itself to inflict as much pain and agony on me as possible for daring, DARING to take some time off in October.

But if anyone can withstand the violence that is my dead end worthless crap of a job, it’s yours truly. Yep, only a man’s man of a man like this man can take the pain and say, “Thank you, may I have another?”

… … … you are my candy girl!… And you’ve got me wanting you…

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