I’m getting a little tired these days of stopping by Blockbuster and looking up and down and left to right for movies they never have, not to mention having to put up with adorable looking couples sassing each other and being so happy together that I just want to start lobbing DVD boxes at them for daring to pollute my air with their irritating public displays of affection.  Just die, please.

Truth be told though, I rarely go to Blockbuster nowadays, opting instead to grab up DVDs at my supermarket, which has a Redbox Machine.  But even that’s become an aggravating chore lately.  Nothing quite puts me in the mood to wreak death and destruction upon mankind then having to wait behind somebody who takes their sweeeeeeeeeeeeet ass time checking the Redbox listings while I loudly tap my foot and check my watch, knowing I’ll have to pay a dollar more if I can’t jam my DVD back in there within the next three minutes.

“BITCH GET THE F*&^ OUT OF THE WAY I GOT TO RETURN THIS THING BEFORE 9PM CAN”T YOU SEE THAT DAMMIT TO HELL!?!?!”

So yeah, I think RedBox has pretty much lost its appeal as well.  Solution?  Netflix!!

But as I surfed the site and prepared to sign up, a thought occurred to me:  am I being too antisocial here?

It seems the more I go out there and run into the scum sucking, methane ripping porkbags otherwise known as the human race, the more I want to stay home and have everything including my groceries mail-ordered to me instead.  Then I can just hide under the bed with my laptop and my Tostitos and play Nancy Drew games until the end of the world comes, which should be oh, shortly after people realize the bailout didn’t do zippy dinks to save the economy and The Great Depression Part 2:  Obama Takes Us To Hell officially gets under way.

But then I think, perhaps I’m being too harsh here?  That maybe, just maybe, with a sincere effort to go out there and connect with other human beings I’d end up finding some who are not so rudely vile and disgusting after all, and maybe even attract a nice girl for once in my life?

Nah.  Indiana Jones first ever DVD in my Netflix queue baby!!  BOOYAH!    Now where are my Tostitos…