To the visitor who found my blog using the search term:

“my girlfriend stays out till 4am”

Newsflash: Your girlfriend dumped you. You just don’t know it yet, and apparently your mind must be so hazy that you’ve had to resort to doing a Google search just to figure out why a girl might want to stay out till the wee hours of the morning rather than stay in with her honey snuggles.

But if you still need some convincing, here’s a couple of solid reasons why you’re hugging the air instead of a warm body at 3AM in the morning:

Your one true love has another boyfriend(s). Yep, after spending the entire evening telling you just how much she yearns for you in your absence and how you complete her, she then casually leaves you as you snore away to go see her other true loves, Bob, Mike and Omar, so she can tell them all how much she yearns for them in her absence and how they complete her too.

Or… your girl is a strip dancer at the local hoinkie boinkie bar. While you dream of gingerbread men dancing on your head, your darling sugar pie is shaking her gimmy-gam gum-gums in front of a horde of drunk, strange men, one of whom she takes back home with her for a witching hour special.

But perhaps I’m being too unreasonable here. Maybe your girl is simply just a light sleeper, and sometimes likes to take 5 hour long walks in the park so she can clear her mind and think about how truly blessed she is to have you in her life. That’s gotta be it right?