I recently caught this article on the BBC:

People’s health could be harmed by social networking sites because they reduce levels of face-to-face contact, an expert claims.

A lack of “real” social networking, involving personal interaction, may have biological effects, he suggests.

He also says that evidence suggests that a lack of face-to-face networking could alter the way genes work, upset immune responses, hormone levels, the function of arteries, and influence mental performance.

This, he claims, could increase the risk of health problems as serious as cancer, strokes, heart disease, and dementia.

“One of the most pronounced changes in the daily habits of British citizens is a reduction in the number of minutes per day that they interact with another human being,” he said.

“In less than two decades, the number of people saying there is no-one with whom they discuss important matters nearly tripled.”

Could be sensationalism sparked by psychologists looking for a little time in the spotlight, but in a way I agree with some of the opinions beng expressed here.

As much as I enjoy using the Internet, I find it to be a highly unsatisfying substitute for real life relationships, and if I had a choice, I would much rather meet people in person and forge relationships that way.  Yet the reason I hang out on here all the time (instead of “out there”) is because I basically have no choice.

If you’ve read the comments after the BBC article, notice how many people with disabilities defended their use of social networking, and for good reason.  The Internet takes away the bias and the barriers those of us with disabilities have to confront and deal with in real life.  In my case it’s being hard of hearing, the kind that puts me right in the gray area between those who hear normally and those who are completely deaf.  The deaf have their own culture and community, one that I can never fit into because I can still hear with the help of aids, and yet I can’t hear well enough to fit in within a society that hears normally either.  I’m caught somewhere in the middle, without a true community of my own.  As if that weren’t enough by itself, I’ve also lived the kind of unorthodox life that absolutely nobody could possibly relate to.  It’s one of the major reasons why I remain single too.

So, I go to the Internet.  Because on here, I don’t have to worry about embarrassing myself because I missed bits and pieces of a conversation.  I don’t have to worry about people forming misconceptions about me because of my disability or my background,  or assuming because I can’t hear it must also mean I’m brain damaged as well.  On the Internet, none of those things matter.

But I also see where it falls depressingly short too.  Those who use the Internet to supplement their already active social lives have no time for me.  I’m unable to bond with them and others in any meaningful way.  I can be reached via email, instant messaging, social networks and even through my blog here, and yet most of the time I find myself twiddling my thumbs, waiting for somebody, ANYBODY, to talk to me.  The hours are long and lonely in between.

And as much as I try to project the full spectrum of my personality into my writings, the Internet can only present certain bits of pieces of who I am, but never the whole.  People who know me through the Internet don’t really know me as I truly am.  Here’s a hint too:  if you find me to be a truly likable person, then you really haven’t gotten to know me at all. 

Truth be told, I find the only people I can truly relate to to via this medium are those who are forced to use it as a subsitute for real life relationships themselves.  Whether it’s because of a disability, or from living in a remote area, or from leading a solitary life that stunted their ability to network and bond with others, being online has become our only recourse to connect with other human beings.  And yet it amazes me how few there are of us, as opposed to those extroverted types who project their already successful social lives onto the Internet (and then feel the compelling need to rub it in our faces too.)  Dweebs.

And now, after having been online for so many years, I’m beginning to accept the sad conclusion that I will never find anyone I can truly bond with, a best friend who would always have time for me and vice versa, or a wonderful girl who would understand me through and through and where I’ve been.  People who totally get me.  I’m of the introverted sort who only needs one best friend and one special girl to be truly content, or perhaps those two rolled  into one.  I don’t need to have eons of acquaintances or casual friends to feel connected and feel like I belong.  But the fact that I can’t even find ONE saddens me to no end.   And I wouldn’t be surprised if all this really did adversely affect my health too just as the article claims.   Oh well.

Oh and if you’re wondering about what might cause the irrational fear of kittens, look no further than LOLcats.  I swear that mindless, idiotic internet fad is going to bring about the demise of civilization, mark my words.  I can never look at a kitten the same way again.

Tags: community, deaf, disabilities, disability, friend, friends, health, health problems, hearing, internet, life, lonely, network, online, people, personality, psychologists, relationship, single, social, social networking, social networking sites, social networks
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
(  Print This Post | | 176 views )

(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

 Loading ...

11 Comments »

Because of the inflammation I’ve been experiencing on my face and jaw lately I had to remove my left hearing aid for a few days, so I could only hear out of one ear.  Not…  Cool…

“Hey Linc, is your face any better?”

“WHAT?” I said loudly.

A rolling of the eyes.  “Guess not.”

I got some advice from Mom.  “Put a few drops of oregano oil in your ear.  That will help reduce the infection.”

So I put a few drops in, which eventually got trapped in my ear and for almost a week I was a walking Italian restaurant.  Then it started leaking out unexpectedly one day and for a minute I thought my brain finally liquidated itself and was oozing out of my ears.

My jaw finally started feeling better though, so I plugged my hearing aid in and everything was right as rain for about an hour.  Evidently though I was a bit premature because the added pressure from the aid caused my jaw to swell up in pain again.  Ugh.  I had to take it out and start all over with the Motrin, muscle ache cream and warm compress to help reduce the inflammation.

“Hey Linc, guess you’re feeling better now?”

“WHAT?”

“Sigh.  Go see a doctor, dimwit.”

Heh.  I am feeling better though, but I’m just going to have to put up with leaving my aid out for a few more days until I know for sure it’s safe to put it back in without causing any painful relapses.

Thank God I don’t have a social life, or this would have really been a problem. 

Tags: ache, ears, hear, hearing, hearing aid, inflammation, motrin, oregano oil, pain, social life
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
(  Print This Post | | 386 views )

(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

 Loading ...

7 Comments »

Well it looks like the iPhone is out for me.    I’ll have to look into alternatives with Verizon instead.  Why you ask?  Because Apple, in their ever so thoughtful consideration for the disabled decided to flip off those of us who were hearing impaired by designing a phone incompatible with digital hearing aids.  Thanks Apple! 

There was this whole stink about it last year too, but I would have thought by now they’d wise up to their asshattedness and produce a more compatible phone with the release of the iPhone 3G.  Nope.  I gave it a try today and immediately heard a grating buzzing sound as soon as I put my aids in telecoil (telephone) mode.  I can still hear the voice on the other end but the screeching banshee sounds as a result of electronic interference didn’t exactly make it a pleasure to use.  Beautiful.

Guess I’ll be sticking with Verizon then, at least for the time being.  I checked their list of Smartphone / PDA / Blackberries that were hearing aid compatible and found the following short list:

I have no idea how any of these phones differ from the iPhone, but I’m gonna guess they all suck flaming hog balls in comparison.    The Mx/Tx designation by the way determines how compatible they are.  Anything with the number 3 meets the compatibility standard, while any number above that exceeds the standard (in other words, 4 is better.)

Guess I’ll be doing some research today while I curse out Apple’s name. 

Tags: aids, apple, blackberries, compatibility, design, digital, digital hearing aids, disabled, hearing, hearing aid, hearing aids, impaired, iphone, PDA, phone, phones, Smartphone, sounds, telephone, verizon, Wireless
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
(  Print This Post | | 1,071 views )

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

7 Comments »

Had a bad dream last night.

I dreamt of having a chance encounter with the very comely Mary Katharine Ham, the conservative journalist and blogger from Townhall.com. We were inside the lobby of a museum, and I somehow managed to engage her in a conversation. Only problem was, I couldn’t understand a word she was saying. My hearing aids completely failed to pick up her speech patterns, so I was left there to helpessly either nod while she talked or give blank stares. She quickly lost interest and blew me off, thinking I was a retard. All I could do was watch while she walked away, knowing I’d never be able to convince her otherwise.

Man was I depressed when I woke up. I think it’s obvious that the new hearing aids I’m trying out has been causing a lot of grief and anxiety for me. I want to hear better so I can engage people in conversation and not be afraid of putting myself out there so I could meet new people and escape this solitary bubble I’ve built for myself. But so far the aids just aren’t living up to expectations. I’m hoping programming adjustments will fix it, but I’ll have to wait till my next appointment before I’ll know for sure.

That dream reflected my worst fears too. People have a tendency to form opinions about me based purely on my disability, and if I can’t communicate with people normally, or have trouble understanding them, it’s automatically presumed that I’m either mentally underdeveloped, or to put it quite bluntly, that I’m just a flipping idiot with the equivalent IQ of a cardboard box. Nothing I say about anything will have any merit. I’m talked down to like I’m 7 years old, and there are times when I’m treated like one too.

Normally I wouldn’t care. But what scares me is the thought that no matter how many single women I meet, they will all look at me the same way because of my hearing loss: like I’m a retard. A handicapped piece of trash unworthy of their attention, much less their love. Whether it’s in dreams or in real life, it’s always been something that weighed heavily on my mind. I fear I’ll never live up to expectations, that I can never be the “perfect guy” they’re looking for, and for that I’ll always continue to be passed over until I’m well into my 70s, living alone in some dinky apartment somewhere with only a few dogs and cats to keep me company.

I can understand why some people settle now. Why they give up all hope and just hitch on to the first person who comes along that pays any kind of attention to them, even if that person ends up being the next Son of Sam. Will that be my future as well?

Crap, I gotta get these hearing aids fixed.

Tags: aids, alone, anxiety, appointment, bad dream, blogger, cardboard box, communication, dating, disability, disabled, dreams, fears, grief, handicap, hearing, hearing aids, hearing loss, iq, journalist, loneliness, love, mary katharine ham, nightmares, nod, single women, social life, tendency, women, worst fears
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
(  Print This Post | | 1,008 views )

(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

 Loading ...

7 Comments »

Hearing aid fittings seems to be more of an art than a science, evidently.

I noticed a clarity right away to the sounds I was hearing after being fitted with my new aids, but it’s possible these aids might be a bit underpowered for my degree of loss, so the audiologist wants to fit me with a more powerful version of the same aids next Friday.

My previous aids were very powerful, but failed to distinguish the most important sounds I really needed to hear, and while I was able to hear a broader range of sounds, I usually couldn’t make any sense of it. It was frustrating, especially in noisy situations, so I had basically given up on the idea that I could ever be able to intelligently talk to people outside the home and workplace.

With the new aids, despite being a bit underpowered (maybe), I was able to have conversations I hadn’t been able to have for years, and I was understanding speech far better than I ever used to, perhaps a little TOO well. Like with this coworker of mine, she just loves to talk, talk, talk, talktalktalktalk, and then when she’s not talking I’m betting she’s thinking about talking too. After hearing one of her usual 45 minute monologues, I was starting to think, maybe ignorance was bliss after all.

Digital hearing aids by the way are designed to continuously analyze and filter out background noises, while attempting to leave in the vocal sounds that we need to hear. I could tell my aids were doing the same thing, and the results could get weird at times. Sometimes a sound will be really loud, and then suddenly it will get soft or disappear altogether, the result of the processor deciding the sound was irrelevant and actively squelching it. Normally I wouldn’t mind, but the worst offense is when it comes to listening to music. It thinks just about everything I listen to is noise, and actively tries to suppress it all. The more I cranked up the volume, the more the aids cranked it down. Excuse me, but Steve Perry is NOT noise.

Fortunately, there are musical programs or similar settings you can upload to the hearing aid’s memory banks to compensate for this, so when I try out the next set of hearing aids next week, I’ll see if I can have those implemented as well. I almost got into it with my audiologist last time though. He’s a good guy, but he is way too used to dealing with people 50 years older than me and adjusting hearing aids according to their typical needs. I was ready to tell the guy, “Look, I have a life, or at least I’m trying to. I need adjustments that will allow me to hear everything, including music and crickets and doorbells and the sweet, dewy sounds of beautiful women whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I don’t need you setting these things thinking the only important sound I’m ever gonna need to know is the voice of my doctor telling me when I’m gonna die, a’ight??”

Sheesh.

Tags: adjustments, aids, audiologist, audiology, bliss, clarity, conversations, digital, fitting, hearing, hearing aid, hearing aids, monologues, music, science, social, sounds, steve perry, talking, tongue, voices
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
(  Print This Post | | 791 views )

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

No Comments »

Tags: back to the future, funny, hearing, hearing aids, hearing loss, overload
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
(  Print This Post | | 567 views )

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

No Comments »