I went for an afternoon of geocaching before it would be time to pick up LA Girl at JFK, and while checking the back of a road sign for a hidden cache, I happened to look upward and saw a JetBlue airplane fly past. Is it that time already?

A few text exchanges and I finally met LA Girl for the first time, waving to her as I tried to squeeze into the terminal. I had forgotten that airplanes tend to carry more than one occupant, and had to fight a crowd of cars all looking to pick up loved ones, friends, cargo, drugs or whatnot.

The drive from JFK to midtown went amazingly fast though. We made friendly small talk while I tried to resist the urge to put on 80s music, which I knew she HATED with a passion. (Who hates a decade of music anyhow?)

I finally dropped her off at the hotel and stashed my car at a Hertz parking garage. The attendant almost had a fit when I told him I wanted to keep it here for a few hours.

“You’ll need to be back here by 10 if you’re not doing overnight.”

“Sure, no problem.”

“Make sure you’re back here BEFORE 10.”

“Sure, not a problem.”

“You HAVE to be here before 10, got it?”

… … … … …

“How ’bout I pick it up at 9?”

He shrugged and gave me my ticket. Dweeb.

Anyhoo, it was back to the hotel, where LA Girl met me on the corner, and we were off. It’s been a while since I’ve actually walked with anyone, so I didn’t really know just how much of a slow walker I was until we started walking together.

*pant *pant* pant*

I stopped every now and then to get a shot of the city with my new camera, only to realize every time I did so LA Girl was 20 blocks ahead of me. It was like a scene out a of Wil E. Coyote and Road Runner cartoon.

*pant* *pant* pant*

Eventually we stopped at Whole Foods, her getting sushi and me opting for, what else, pizza. Only this was prosciutto pizza too, mmm mmm MMM! The supermarket was HUGE, and oddly enough, what I remember most about is was the trash receptacles being divided up into at least 5 different bins, each one for different items. Including one for cell phones.

After that it was a quick walk back to Tasti D-Lite, mmm mmm MMMM. It wasn’t exactly ice cream, sort of like a cross between frozen yogurt and regular ice cream, but it was indeed tasty. We enjoyed some bantering back and forth again while a crowd of college aged folks started gathering in the store, including a few girls. I watched them to see if any of them would look my way and acknowledge my existence, and sure enough, one of them did, thus proving my theory that women do indeed pay more attention to me when I’m with company of the female persuasion. Well maybe. Perhaps she was really looking THROUGH me.

After the ice cream, it was another quick walk back to the hotel, where we bid each other adieu and good night. Overall I had a good time, I was glad to help a fellow conservative get situated in the city and ready to enjoy a week of sightseeing. For once it was nice to mingle with an actual human being, rather than the usual liberal crapbags I have to deal with here in a regular basis.

And now that I’ve done it, I can go back to being my usual antisocial techno-hermit self. Yaaaaaaaaaaay me!

Tags: conservative, food, geocaching, girl, hotel, ice cream, LA girl, midtown, pizza, supermarket, Whole Foods
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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And not just a girl, an LA Girl!

Omigosh, omigosh, I’ll have to get my hair and nails done! Maybe buy a new dress too! *hyperventilates*

I don’t know how it happened either, I was just talking to a nice Chinese girl on a conservative blog, and next thing I know we’re set to meet on the Upper West Side for dinner and ice cream after she decided to visit the city for a week. Sometimes my locale does have its upside.

It’s a weird feeling though, I haven’t had a get together with a girl since… um… since…

.. … … … .. … .. … … *counts fingers*

7 years? 7 YEARS?? I had no idea that much time transpired since then.

Ah well. It should be fun… I hope, as long as I don’t do something silly, like throw up on her boots or anything. If we can manage to stand each other for the entire evening, I might also tag along with her to the Met and Museum of Natural History the day after. Maybe. I’ve been to both before, but I’d like the experience of seeing the exhibits and getting a different perspective on it for once, instead of having conversations with myself and drawing the attention of security, as is usually the case.

Besides, it gives me a chance to test my theory that I will be far more attractive to the ladies here if they see me hanging out with another girl, especially one from LA. It is a sad testament to state of affairs today that I am only seen as attractive to the wimmins if it already looks like I have someone.

So if y’all can light a candle for me and pray she doesn’t like, eat me or something, I’d be much obliged.

Tags: experience, girl, history, LA girl, ladies, Links, museum, upper west side, women
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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I went to the mall on Thursday in my neverending search for decent gloves, starting off with a walkaround inside Macy’s.

I finally found some cashmere gloves but, um, are cashmere gloves supposed to be THAT shiny? Even then they didn’t look like great quality, in some areas you could see the thread was already beginning to loosen. I guess that’s why they were having a sale for them. I found some Isotoners too, but it’s always the same deal: too small, too big, too plush, too thin or too ugly. Bah.

While I was trying out gloves a cute girl also showed up and started looking around as well. I smiled at her but she ignored me as she continued yakking on the phone. I lingered around and glanced every now and then, waiting for an opportunity to see if I could talk to her. I also happened to notice this old lady pushing a baby carriage nearby giving me the dirtiest of looks too. What was that all about? The answer came when the cute girl finally stopped looking and she and the old lady left together. Oops? Was Mommy watching me the whole time?

In hindsight I should have realized if she was looking for male gloves she probably had a boyfriend, and that’s who she was yakking with on the phone. Sigh.

Off to H&M!

I arrived at the store and immediately realized 90% of the clothes were for women, while the remaining 10% for men were stashed on the basement level in a corner somewhere. Yeah this should be productive, and yep of course they didn’t have any gloves at all. I went back upstairs and looked around for a few minutes more. I was just about to leave when I saw this unbelievably GORGEOUS blonde bombshell sifting through one of the clothing racks.

Oh. My. God.

Oh please, oh please, oh please let her see me or notice meeeeeee…

I walked close by and pretended to check out some girlie clothes like stuff, waiting for her to glance in my direction so I could smile at her. Give me a smile, a frown, something, ANYTHING! She continued to look around, but her eyes went past me like I wasn’t there. I stood next to her, walked around, walked in front, waiting for any kind of opening, but she wasn’t biting. It seems the only way I was going to get her attention was to throw a brick at her head, and unfortunately, I had left mine in the car.

Sigh.

I left the store dejected and depressed, checked out a handful of other stores before finally leaving the mall, gloveless and womanless.

You know, I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m not the kind of person who can approach somebody cold when I’m out in public, so there needs to be some kind of context I can work with that would encourage me to go talk to a girl. Even a friendly smile would do it, but nobody it seems wants to do even that. I just see an ocean of stony faced women all going about their business, and it breaks my heart.

So yeah, I give up. I’m just not going to look anymore. I’ll just go about my business in life, and if I happen to bump into a cutie at the supermarket who doesn’t sneer at me, maybe I’ll start a conversation. But for the most part I’m just gonna keep my head down low and stay away from the crowds as much as I can.

If only I could buy my clothes online without having to try them on, then I wouldn’t have to go out at all.

Tags: cashmere, depressed, girl, gloves, mall, women, women suck
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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So I was on Craigslist… (oh good grief, I know what a toxic wasteland it is, just get off my case already.)

So anyhoo, I was on Craigslist in the strictly platonic section, and surprisingly enough, I find an ad by a girl looking for someone to accompany her for pleasant conversations and the best hot cocoa she could find in the city. She had read an article listing the best 22 places to find hot chocolate and was planning to check them all out, and her ad was an invitation to join her on her chocolatey journey. I thought it was the most adorable thing I ever read, and promptly sent her an email.

You think I got a response? Of course not.

So you know what, hell with it, I’ll go visit these places myself and sip my own damned cocoa. I managed to find the article she was referring to, so now I can make my own chocolatey journey through the city, probably starting New Year’s Day. New Year’s Day is the best time to go joyriding around Manhattan too, practically everyone is in bed with a hangover while the sober, smart ones among us have the whole city to ourselves.

So I’ll just have to dance alone as usual, but I’m not going to let that stop me from having a good time.

Tags: city, conversations, craigslist, girl, hot chocolate, hot cocoa, manhattan, new year, women suck
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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Ok, so I’m on my way home and I stop by a 7-11 to get an ice cold Big Gulp, because in 20 degree weather I like to do stupid things like this.

I walk inside and oh me oh my, I see this cute as a button hippie girl, wearing one of those knit hats and arm length gloves, and just kind of looking adorable. I quickly got my Big Gulp and maneuvered in line next to her as she went to pay for smokes. She glanced over at me and I gave my usual toothy smile. She smiled back.

Then I happened to notice a very angry looking boyfriend standing next to her too. Whoa. I knew it was the boyfriend cuz he looked just as hippy, with out of control hair and the most pathetic excuse for a beard I’ve ever seen. I nodded at him and he just narrowed his eyes even more, you know, the way Superman might narrow his eyes when he’s using heat vision to bore into someone’s skull.

Yeah, ok. This girl was so cute though, so I just tried to steal a glance every now and then while pretending to check my watch, the wall or the male enhancement pills that were on the counter.

To be honest, I was kind of annoyed about it, especially when he put his arm around her as if just to make the point that she belonged to him, nana nana poo poo. Yeah go choke on your weed, schmuckbrain.

It turns out that I shouldn’t have gotten too upset over it, because once I walked out I noticed a car stuck in the middle of the parking lot. Hippie Boy had just blown a tire and was now frantically getting out a jack to get it fixed, while his darling angel stood there with crossed arms and an oh so satisfyingly disappointed look on her face.

I just broke out laughing, and continued to laaaaugh and laaaaaugh, all the way home.

Tags: angry, big gulp, boyfriend, cute, flirting, girl, hippie boy, hippie girl, parking lot
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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Ok, so I was daydreaming yesterday on having a successful encounter with a cutie at the supermarket, right? Well today reality saw an opportunity to bite me in the ass for daring to pollute its existence with my fantasies.

I was at Starbucks and waiting in line for a gingerbread latte, and I happened to notice a girl two bodies ahead of me in line. Petite, tastefully dressed, wearing adorable winter boots, with long flowing brown hair. Yep, another brunette, just like in my fantasy. I watched her as she placed her order and then moved ahead to the pickup area for her drink. A few minutes later I placed my order, then casually walked up next to her.

Man was she pretty, I was so intimidated by her beauty, but I was right next to her, and it was as good an opportunity as any to try striking up a conversation.

“So what did you order?” I asked cheerfully.

She looked over at me, made a half smile but didn’t say anything. Ok… awkward. I tried again.

“Boy I can’t believe how fast and cold it got this week.”

She glanced my way again and nodded her head, a forced smile again. “Yeah it’s been really cold.” She then looked at her watch.

“So um, do you come here regularly?”

“I have a boyfriend,” she said quickly.

“Oh…. I’m… sorry…” I stammered. “Just trying to be friendly.”

She nodded again, when her drink finally came up. She grabbed her drink and quickly walked out. And that, was that.

I hate my life.

Tags: brunette, conversation, daydreaming, dream, dreaming, fantasies, fantasy, girl, reality, starbucks
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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