Other posts related to friday-the-13th
Owner of a Lonely Heart!
Lincoln Adams | February 14, 2009 @ 9:00 amMOVE YOURSELF!
You always live your life,
Never thinking of the future…
PROVE YOURSELF!
You are the move you make,
Take your chances winner/loser…
I was planning to blog a short series of posts given the unusual lineup of Friday the 13th being followed by Valentine’s Day this year. Ironically enough both days have significant meanings to me. One of the worst days of my life happened on Valentine’s Day, while my career plans to attend law school effectively ended on a Friday the 13th.
Instead I got caught up staring at my server logs all day long because my blog kept going down in flames during heavy traffic spikes, and I couldn’t figure out why. It got to the point that I was ready to quit blogging once and for all. That’s how upset I was.
In a way I feel like this is it, the last option I have in weaving a career and a life that I could be happy with. And given the times we live in today, I don’t think I could have picked anything as monumentally stupid to stake my future on than this. But I felt like I had no choice. God had closed every other door I tried, to the point that it seems like my destiny will amount to nothing more than working a deadend job and living with Mommy dearest until I die of a brain tumor.
And just to make sure I absolutely know what a miserable failure I am, let’s have a blogging success story that I can only dream about thrown in my face the very same day I spend hours crying and tearing my hair out over my own malfunctioning blog. Yes, let’s do that, because God knows my batter and bruised esteem simply hasn’t been stomped on enough throughout the years.
Why does that happen anyway? Am I imagining this? Because it seems like whenever I’m at a pivotal point where I endure a major setback or failure, right at my lowest moment I get bashed over the head by the prosperity and success of others close to me. What the hell, dude.
It seems like the entire universe is conspiring together to either drive me to suicide or a catatonic state where I spend the rest of my days staring at the wall of a padded room at the Sunshine and Happy Happy Home. I don’t get it. I don’t get why all of life is determined to crush whatever hope is left in me, and that it actually seems to step up its efforts to do so on Valentine’s Day.
SEE YOURSELF!
You are the steps you take,
You and you – and that’s the only way…
SHAKE - SHAKE YOURSELF!
You’re every move you make,
So the story goes…
There does come a point where I have to shake the hurt off and move on though. And I guess this year is going to be all about accomplishing just that. I can either move forward and push just as hard as life keeps pushing me until I finally prevail, or I can lay down and die, both spiritual and physically. But no matter how beaten down I’ve been, that hope that’s still flickering somewhere inside me continues to survive, and as long as it’s there, I don’t think I’ll ever truly give up. I may despair and cry and whine and wail at times (ok, a lot of times), but though I am cast down, I am not defeated, and my heart may be lonely, but it isn’t broken yet.
So go blow it out your ying yang Valentine’s Day, and whatever dark forces that keep conspiring to put an end to me, because I am not going to go silently into that good night. Bring on the noise. 
WATCH IT NOW – the eagle in the sky,
How he dancin’ one and only…
YOU – lose yourself,
No not for pity’s sake,
There’s no real reason to be lonely…
BE YOURSELF - give your free will a chance,
You’ve got to work to succeed!

Tags: blog, blogging, career, career plan, conspiracy, destiny, failure, fight, friday the 13th, future, God, job, law school, life, lonely, meaning, server, success, Valentine
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
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Friday The 13th – The Day From Hell
Lincoln Adams | April 15, 2007 @ 8:34 pmThe 13th of course marked the deadline when I needed to make my deposit to secure a spot in law school. The day before I spent several hours drawing up a schedule that would allow for a minimal change in everyone’s working hours, except for yours truly of course. No one saw a problem with it, so I left a copy of the diagram I put together along with my proposal, and left it for my boss to go over the next day. When I came in and inquired about it, he said quite simply:
“It’s not gonna work.”
“Uhhh, what do you mean? The hours you wanted covered will be covered.”
“It’s just not gonna work.”
Then he proceeded to do a complete about face from what he told me before, saying no change in the work schedule could be made at ALL. The only way I could work something out was if someone took my place and I moved to a day shift, which of course was impossible since nobody wanted my shift.
I couldn’t believe it. My boss had flat out lied to my face, the same man who slapped my back upon hearing I had been accepted to law school, and who happily told me he would do everything he could to help work out my schedule so I’d be able to attend classes. Now suddenly our schedule was set in stone, and there’s nothing he can do?
Bullsh**.
And I wasn’t the only one who smelled it either. Everyone was left scratching their heads wondering what was the problem with the schedule I proposed. I suspect my boss had been lying from the start, and then when I called him in on it, he covered it up with another lie. He was a right bastard from the very beginning.
My plans to attend law school had been scuttled once again, and this time it looks like it’ll be for good. I certainly wanted an answer, but not like this, and certainly not for no other reason than because my boss turned out to be a complete @$$hole.
Stunned by his betrayal, I settled into a melancholy mood and just went through the motions for the rest of the evening. But then a bad day suddenly got a whole lot worse.
A relative of mine also works the same job in a different department. He had a boss who could only be described as something akin to one of Dante’s infernal creatures. She was the biggest whacknut to ever grace our fine workforce, and things had gotten so out of hand in her tormenting and harassing my relative that she was finally transferred out…. to a division close to mine, of course. She picked today, of ALL days, to show up out of the blue in my section, and then settle into my boss’s desk for who knows why. My guess was that she was waiting to meet with someone (I’m guessing a lawyer or a union rep). I was working by myself now, and being in close proximity to her with no other witnesses around was at best…. ill-advised. This was after all a woman who followed employees into the men’s bathroom and scream at them at the top of her lungs because they forgot to sign in again after finishing their lunch hour.
I did the only thing I could think of to do at that time. I took my meal break and got the hell outta there. I really wasn’t supposed to leave my section unoccupied, but I had little choice. I figured after an hour she would be long gone and I could have the area to myself again.
Nope. I came back and almost jumped 20 feet in the air when I saw she had now taken up space right next to my desk, evidently going over some papers in preparation for her “meeting.” Once again I was all alone with her, and my shift wouldn’t end for another 90 minutes.
So I left.
She was presently having a conversation with someone, so I took the opportunity to lock up everything, get my coat and backpack, and promptly left the building. Tomorrow I’ll have to gear up for a confrontation over having left work early, but I’ll be ready for it. I am DONE with these asses and the cowardly powers that be that continue to let them run amuck. Enough is enough.
Tags: backstabbing, boss, classes, crazy, evil, friday the 13th, hell, herd, job, law school, liar, minimal change, myspace, proposal, relative, schedule, shifts, uhhh, whacknuts
Categories: In The Coal Mine
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A Legal Endgame
Lincoln Adams | April 8, 2007 @ 6:44 pmAlright, this has gone on long enough.
My decision on whether to attend law school or not has taken me on a road almost as long as law school itself. It all began in October of 2005, and it may finally, FINALLY come to an end on Friday the 13th, which is the deadline for the deposit I would need to make to secure my place in the part time evening class of the law school I applied to near my job. Interesting enough, this would mark the 18th month of this pre-law school to the DAY. Hmmmmm….
I’ve been asking for signs, for answers, for guidance, for ANYTHING to indicate whether this was the way to go. I got in return: nothing. But nothing might eventually become something this week. Because I couldn’t get the school to accommodate my night time working hours, I was ready to write off the legal profession once and for all and finally move on with my life. But then something happened at my job. Our night work got eliminated, leaving the possibility that I might actually get transferred to a day shift after all. There’s no telling whether this might happen or not, especially given the idiots that run the place here, but it’s certainly possible. I looked into the possibility of switching my acceptance to the school from part time days to part time evenings, and much to my surprise they were happy to accommodate me in this respect.
The issue now though is my night pay. I earn roughly $400 more a month just for working in the evenings. If it came to me having to voluntarily switch to a day tour (instead of being forced to switch) so I could attend school at night, then I wanted to do so without losing that money. One of my other co-workers at least was still getting night pay even though his hours had been switched, so I knew it was possible. I’ll have a meeting with my union rep this Tuesday to discuss the issue. My union rep also knew of a scholarship I might be qualified for, so we’ll be discussing that as well.
It also hadn’t escaped my notice that for the first time in the almost 7 years I’ve worked here, a new change would be instituted that could eliminate more than 50 percent of our workload. That this was scheduled to happen the same month that I would start law school was very peculiar. It meant the amount of work would soon be light enough that I could spend ample time studying on the job. It was yet another concern that had been squared away.
Finally, Uptown Girl is a lawyer herself. It raised new possibilities for a future relationship that could happen between us, but in what way I didn’t really know. Still, it was another peculiar coincidence. But whether all these strings of coincidences point to something or not remains to be seen. I guess what will seal it for me is being able to secure my night pay even if I start working a day shift. If that happens, it will be a minor miracle that would allow all the pieces to finally fallen into place, and the law school dream formerly left for dead comes alive once again.
If I know my luck though, nothing might actually be decided this week. If I don’t get a definitive answer from my union rep about the night pay until after the deadline, I would still be able to make a deposit, but I would not be guaranteed a seat unless someone else withdraws their enrollment. In this case I would just have to cross my fingers and hope for the best. Of course, if I can get night pay AND be able to secure myself a seat in school even after the deadline had already passed, than I bloody well owe it to myself to give this thing a real shot.
If God is merciful though, than this week will finally be the one to provide me some solid answers.
Tags: answers, co workers, coincidences, differential, evenings, friday the 13th, God, guidance, job, law school, lawyer, legal profession, money, night, night time, part time, pay, prayer, schedule, scholarship, signs, surprise, union rep, uptown girl
Categories: Legally Speaking
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