With nothing better to do, I decided to hit the local mall to grab up some Auntie Em’s pretzels. Just as I was about to walk inside, I noticed this very pretty girl walking maybe a few feet behind me, so I held the door open for her.

I could see right away that she not only wasn’t going to say thank you, she wasn’t even acknowledging my existence, as if the door were electronic and had opened by itself. Ah well.

So I let go of the door.

The door was heavy and had slammed into her legs before she made it all the way through. Stunned, she took one angry look at me and said, “What the F&%# is wrong with you?!?”

Ah, so I do exist after all!

“This is the 21st century. Open your own damned door.” I then blew her a kiss and casually used another door to walk inside.

I could hear the obscenities continue behind me as I walked in. Man, what a mouth she had on her. Tee-hee.

My pretzel was extra tasty by the way.