I was recently asked by an evil woobie what I wanted in a woman, since I seemed to be sending mixed signals regarding the female race (bashing them to death while yearning for one at the same time). Well alllllrighty then.

I’ve split my list here to those traits I oh-so-badly want a girl to have, and those traits that are complete deal-breakers that will send me…..

One night I was sifting through a pile of “official police documents” at work and punching them into the system. I came across one for “Forcible Touching, 2nd Degree” and tried to think of an appropriate abbreviation for such a charge, since the field for inputting charges was ridiculously short to begin with, forcing us to come up with all sorts of creative abbreviations so we could fit the…..