So today I hear a story reflecting the sheer brilliance of my coworkers:

Guy comes in, needs to file a report. One of my coworkers gets up to help him out. She checks the computer and tells him:

“There’s already a report here with your name, only the first name is different. Same last name, same date of birth.”

“Yes, that’s my brother, we’re twins.”

Blank look.

“Let me get this straight, same last name, same date of birth, different first name. Are you sure this wasn’t filed by you?”

“Um, no it’s my brother. I said we’re twins.”

Blank look.

“Are you sure it wasn’t you who filed this? Every thing but the first name is the same.”

“I told you my brother filed that. We’re twins, we were born on the same day. You understand?”

Blank look.

At this point someone else takes her aside and says, “Tammy, why don’t you take a break now, I can take it from here.”

As if people like this working in government wasn’t depressing and scary enough, think about this: What if she was handling your health insurance too?

Tags: coworker, coworkers, government, health insurance, job, stupid
Categories: In The Coal Mine
 
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I think my new supervisor is starting to get frustrated with my coworkers.

I’m holing up at my desk here with my head down low and Toto’s Africa blasting through my speakers, when I hear the supe making the classic mistake of asking a coworker who goes by the nickname of The Mouth a question.

About 30 seconds pass and he’s already raising his voice trying to get through all the babbling so he could get a straight answer:

“I’m trying to understand why they didn’t call us back on this-”

“Babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble….”

“But that doesn’t answer my question, I just want to know why they-” “Babble babble babble babble babble babble babble-” “No, I understand-” “Babble babble babble babble babble-” “No no, why didn’t they-” “Babble babble babble babble babble babble-” “You’re not hearing me, I just need to find out why-” “Babble babble babble babble babble babble babble babble-”

The last time I saw him he was in his cubicle corner, his head down low and a Van Halen tune cranked up high.

Spend a little time here and you’ll start to understand why the saner among us don’t use desk speakers powered by less than 400 watts.

Tags: babble, babbling, coworker, coworkers, desk, supervisor, work
Categories: In The Coal Mine
 
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An update to the job situation at work:  I am apparently so far low on the totem pole of importance that you’d have to dig 10 feet under just to get to me.

So there were all these openings resulting from union concessions and people retiring that I basically had the pick of whatever assignment I wanted, right? But since the notice went out and gave absolutely no information on these openings whatsoever, I stopped by Personnel and spoke with the manager.

“Yeah, hi, I was hoping I could find out more about these job openings, since there was no info given about them in the email?”

“What are you interested in?”

“Depends, I’m pretty flexible right now, so I could work in any assignment depending on the type of work involved. I’m working a night tour currently, so if there’s any night shifts available I might be interested in that too, that way I don’t lose any night pay just by transferring.”

“Actually we do have a few night positions available. Let me take your info down and once we get more info together I’ll let you know what positions might be a good fit. Since you’ve been here a few years you should have seniority over most of the other people also looking to be transferred, so you’ll be in pretty good shape to get whatever new position you decide to opt for.”

He took down my info, made sure my name was put on the list and said another notice would go out in the next few days that would outline all the new positions and what they entailed.

The next day it occurred to me that I should let him know about my college degree in computers, in case there was an opening in our Information Systems division. So I sent the personnel manager another email to let him know about my background in computers. Shortly afterwards I received this response:

Thank you for your email. Your request was given careful consideration, but all the positions have now been filled at this time. We will be hiring new staff in the fall and it is anticipated that another round of transfers will take place then.

Um, what? Over 20 positions were all filled already, in the space of a day? Really? And how long did you take me into consideration, the ten seconds it took for me to walk out your door before you took my info and threw it in the trash? Numbnut.

Around the same time I happened to learn my agency was chasing people who had retired off the job and bringing them back to work part time jobs, when those jobs should have been going to people like me full-time. It was a way to make an end run around the union concessions that had been made, which stipulated that a certain part of the workforce would retire early in exchange for having their positions filled by civilians who could work for less money. So now they get their full pensions as well as a part time salary, while the rest of us with weaker and weenier unions get hosed.

Nice. I had a feeling this was coming too, but I never thought the guy was going to blatantly lie to my face like that. If somebody ever BEGGED to have sugar poured into his gas tank, it’d be this snot monkey.

Ah well, there are at least some good news to come out of all this, and it’s that Mr. No-Personality will be carving out office space for himself instead of taking my desk, and that it would also be a few more weeks before he finally gets assigned here. My guess is that he is putting it off as long as he can in the hopes that something else comes up, but if not, he’ll just hole up in a corner somewhere and play Everquest all day. The best kind of supervisor I could ask for really: one who hides and stays out of my way.

As for the screw-over, I could fight this, but it’s pretty hard to top what I have now. The night pay accounts for $400 of my monthly salary, but my hours still fall mostly during the day, so it never feels like I’m doing a graveyard shift. Not many people can say that either. The job is easy and the workload has been getting lighter, the hours are good, the benefits are excellent, it’s just the office politics and my coworkers’ inability to engage in… intellectually stimulating conversations that tends to gum things up for me. I can understand now why there are those who never want to work in an office and would rather be out in the field working alone than deal with all the politics and BS within. And then of course there’s the fact that there is absolutely no career or promotional path for this job whatsoever.

But… for now it suits me. I would hope though that it won’t be my lot in life to drift through this job without ever making a real difference:

Tags: coworkers, dilbert, email, job, money, office politics, personnel manager, supervisor, transfer, union, unions, workforce
Categories: In The Coal Mine
 
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A few days ago I got a call from a real estate agent letting me know a studio apartment at a complex near my job was available.   I had been looking at this complex since 2007, primarily because it was located in the most ideal area:  close to work, right by the water and next to a gorgeous park, the surroundings were so pretty you could almost forget the urban jungle that was next door.

I made an appointment for a viewing last Saturday and drove to the apartment grounds on what turned out to be a spectacular summer day.  There was a bagel cafe across the street and the aroma of coffee filled the air.  The trees whistled and the birds sang, while in the distance a blue ocean beckoned and fed the stream that led into the park next door.  Yep, I could definitely get used to living here.

I met up with the realtor and the moment we stepped inside, the magic ended.

As the door opened, a narrow stairwell immediately presented itself which I had to walk down. Wait, this apartment is lower level??

The descent into madness begins.

The apartment was right by the bottom of the stairs, pretty convenient I guess, but also a recipe for noise, noise, noise:

A basement studio at a garden apartment? Seriously?

Is that a doorbell??

The door swung opened and I took a look inside. The studio was big, very air and roomy, and I could tell even with furniture there would still be plenty of space to maneuver around:

This is an apartment they said was practically ready for me to move into...

Can you say, doity?

The windows were simply tragic.  Not only was it blocked by slabs of concrete, but they looked ancient:

Cobwebs filled the window in the bathroom.

The main window above the sleeping alcove.

They used tape to cover the screen holes???

After I almost gagged from daring to look outside the windows, I moved on to the kitchen:

If you wanna look inside you better ask yourself: Do I feel lucky?

I kept thinking a tentacle would reach out and strangle me if I got too close.

Gas stove. Boom.

Now on to the bathroom!

Ew.

Ewwwwwww...

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Ok, that’s  quite enough now.  The realtor then showed me the laundry room, which was literally down the hall.  The apartment was next to a storage area too, so if you opened the door and looked to your right this is what you would see:

So this is where they keep all the stolen merchandise!

Right after the storage area was the coin operated laundry machines:

No hot babe washing her lingerie to be found here.

You want me to wash my stylish Old Navy shirts in THAT??

After we went back outside and I got a chance to suck in the fresh air again, the realtor informed me that the apartment was being offered for $100 less a month, that there would be no broker’s fee annnnnnnnd I would get first month’s rent free.  I get the impression that they were having a little trouble getting this unit filled.  Uh huh.

I’ve gone apartment hunting once or twice in the past, and I remember one time when I went to a place with two of my coworkers to check out a small one bedroom.  The place was filthy, but my coworkers kept walking around and going ooooooo and ahhhhhh, this is so awesome!  They thought I was being a snob because I refused to live in such a dump, especially one where the landlords were 80 something year old folks who would probably forget they were even renting it to me and call the police one night thinking I was a burglar.  That would have been awkward.

But anyway, checking out this place made me think of that time.  The studio was hands down a complete and unmitigated disaster area.  No amount of cleaning would ever make it sanitary, especially considering I had allergies too.

But was I being too snobbish?  Was I asking for too much to want to live in a nice, cozy apartment that was clean, roomy (and preferably above ground?)

It was really tragic to see such a horrific looking place in such a beautiful area.  Right now I live in a decent apartment with my folks that was clean, had carpeting, a washer/dryer, all those basic amenities that I tend to take for granted, even though it’s in a less than ideal area (as in, next to a train station and a water tower and an army of day laborers that infest our streets  like a plague.)  Regardless, an apartment like this was so hard to come by that we all breathed a collective sigh of relief in finally discovering an apartment that didn’t look like something out of Dante’s Inferno.

I don’t want a luxury apartment for crying out loud, I just want one that’s clean, but apparently just being clean enough is considered a luxury as well. 

Ah well.  I’m still glad I went to check it out at least.  I had been looking at that area for so long that it was nice to finally rule it out and focus my attention elsewhere, and maybe eventually find a place that will turn out to be even better.  And if that makes me a snob, so be it. 

Tags: apartment, appointment, bathroom, coworkers, filthy, kitchen, landlord, laundry room, living, luxury, sleeping alcove, storage, unsanitary
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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Right on the heels of getting out of debt for the first time in 13 years, I’m now hearing that my old supervisor will be returning to my section this week for the first time in 9 years. When I started working this job he was my first “boss,” and it wasn’t too long before I promptly got written up because I had dared to call an outside agency to ask them for advice on how we could make our section more productive and efficient. Back then I didn’t know then that doing such a thing was a no-no, even if my only intention was to help.

I had only been on the job for 3 months, and I was pretty green in the gills and naively thinking I could change the world then, only to get quickly smacked down by reality and a stupid dweeb of a supervisor. The whole experience had left a bitter taste in my mouth ever since.

In all fairness, I don’t think he intended to be malicious, he just wanted to cover his wide trailer, but I didn’t appreciate how he had talked down to me in his droning, Ben Stein voice when it happened. There were probably a dozen ways he could have handled it better and instead he chose the worst way, leaving me with a “friendly” reprimand on my record not even 3 stupid, fricking months into my job. He was unfriendly, uncomfortable to be around with, and micromanaged the most mundane things that had absolutely no relevance to the work we did. To top it off, the dude had no personality at all, I mean seriously NONE, almost as if he had been born without a soul. Ben Stein has nothing on this guy.

That’s why I was glad when he transferred out to what he must have thought were greener pastures. We went through a cocktail variety of supervisors since then, until the last one retired in a hurry and officially left us without a manager again. I ended up taking the supervisor’s desk, since there was no other place to sit, and carved out a little corner for myself in our section that kept me comfortable and boss-free for 2 years.

Recently however, they phased out Mr. No Personality’s position, forcing him to come back to our department once again, although not our specific area (yet). He had clearly done everything he could to avoid getting transferred back to our section, but it looks like the clock finally runs out this week. Judging from the look on his face every time I see him, I can see his untriumphant return as our manager is going to be a real pleasure.

When he does come back, one of two things may happen. He may play it smart and have maintenance carve out some office space for himself, or he may pull rank and evict me out of the desk I’m using now. The reason this is a big issue is because I work with 4 other coworkers, and they all have desks and computers to use. I would have to go back to standing around and waiting for someone to either take a meal break or go home before I finally had a desk that I could access and work on, this despite the fact that I’ve been here 9 YEARS. I swear it’d be like high school all over again, just floating around, never finding a group or a spot where I could finally feel at home.

Yep, this is gonna be fun. Of course, after several years on the job I’m not so green in the gills anymore, and Mr. No Personality will find I’m not the pushover I used to be when I rip his soul-less dweeb monkey’s face off the minute he starts in on me. There’s a reason why nobody wants to oversee our section ya know.

Ironically enough, while there’s no place for him to go, a wave of early retirements that began last week have opened up over 20 new positions for me to potentially choose from, depending on how my seniority compares to others vying for the same job. I know absolutely nothing about these openings though, the hours I’d work, what the people I’d work with are like or what the job entails, only that they’re now looking for people. This is the first time in several years that new openings in my department finally presented themselves, so it’s not something I can just blow off either.

Honestly, the thing that has always held me back from vigorously pursuing opportunities like this was my night pay. My night pay accounts for $300 of my monthly salary, and because a contract concession forces me to work two days a month without pay for 6 months, just the simple act of transferring to another assignment would incur a loss of over $500 a month in income, at least until December.

I hate the thought of losing that much money a month, but if it there was ever a time I could stand to lose it, that time would be now. I no longer need to worry about any debts cramping my finances, and the loss of night pay would just mean I’d have to wait a little bit longer before getting enough cash together to put down for a new apartment and move out. What’s a few months and a few dollars really if it means finally getting out of a job I have loathed for 9 years?

Assuming of course the new job I get doesn’t turn out to be even worse than the old one.

Tomorrow I’ll try to find out more info about these openings and see what’s what. I have to admit the timing of these recent events is pretty curious, and I wonder whether it might be a sign that I finally need to go? After 9 years, as much as I’ve whined and complained about my work, I’ve still gotten pretty comfortable in my job and resistant to change. Facing the great unknown thrills me in a way, but it also frightens me too. I’ve been conditioned to believe that nothing good can ever happen to me when it comes to life changing events like this, and if I do wind up working a job someplace else, I fear it will be ten times worse than what I’m doing now. I wonder if it’s better to deal with the devil I know than charge into the great unknown, even if the devil I DO know ends up forcing me to give up my desk.

I guess I’ll know more by this week’s end what will happen. Heck, I’ve already experienced one life altering event by finally becoming debt-free, so why stop there?

Tags: boss, coworker, coworkers, debts, desk, income, job, opportunities, reprimand, supervisor, transfer
Categories: In The Coal Mine
 
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Well it’s Christmas Eve, and life still sucks big honking cheeseballs.  Since I still haven’t met the one, I’m sticking to my time honored tradition of boycotting It’s A Wonderful Life until I do. 

I’ve been pretty scroogy this year compared to most for some reason.  I had no desire to put up any decorations, I hardly listened to any Christmas tunes, and gift wrapping turned into a 3 hour event akin to trying to nail jello to the wall, even though I was only wrapping two presents. 

And now I have to work late Christmas Eve and cover for my coworkers who either took off or conveniently got sick, and on top of that the only two family members I have left both get sick as well, so everyone’s pretty much in a miserable mood here.

I’m probably gonna be getting some pretty suck mcducky presents too, but that’s to be expected since I insisted that no one buy me anything.  Turns out that was unnecessary since no one was planning to get me anything anyway.

Thank God for Netflix right??   Well not really, since some tubby fat dingaling decided, “Hey wouldn’t it be a great idea to rent The Mummy and Caspian and then hoard it for a month until Christmas is over, thus ensuring that nobody else can reserve a copy from Netflix until the new year at least?  Awesome!”

People.  God do I hate them.

Fortunately though I managed to RedBox myself those two movies instead, while using Netflix to get X-Files and a few more Lost DVDs.     That should help keep my mind off of the fact that nobody wubs me and that I’ll have only my teddy bear to keep me company as I watch these flicks and try to keep myself from crying into my tub of popcorn.

Ah well.  There’s always next year, right? 

Really though, Christmas isn’t as bad as I’m making it sound, but I’d just as soon get this (and the crapfest of a year 2008 turned out to be) over with as quickly as possible.

And now with those slightly unpleasant thoughts out of the way, I wish you all the very merriest of Christmases, that you enjoy your time off with those you love, and that God continually grant you all joy, peace and health as we move forward into a new year. 

Tags: Christmas, christmas eve, coworkers, dvds, gift wrapping, movies, Netflix, new year, Redbox, tradition, wonderful life
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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