So I was in Panera Bread last night, relaxing and enjoying a bagel sandwich (that I brought from a real bagel shop), when a nice old lady approached me and began to sign in ASL. She had seen that I was hard of hearing and wanted to know if I signed too. Since I had normal hearing otherwise I told her no, but that I’d like to learn it some day (particularly with a smoking hot deaf biddy willing to sign very naughty things to me, but I omitted that part.)

We had a nice conversation, and she turned out to be of normal hearing. It was actually her 18 year old daughter who was deaf, and since her daughter had also seen me as I entered the cafe, I guess they must have been curious about me.

So the lady tells me she has a few free DVDs in her car that were educational videos for those who were deaf, but wanted to learn more about the Bible. In addition to using closed captioning, all the characters would sign in ASL too. I thought it was pretty cool, and I was happy to meet someone who was a Christian, and better yet, someone who would truly understand what it’s like to live with a hearing loss.

She went to her car, came back and gave me the DVDs in a brown bag, then asked me if I was interested in getting a few more to pass around to any deaf friends I might have too, she’d be happy to send them to me by mail. We chatted for a bit more, and then she left.

The DVDs were completely innocuous looking, like something you might find at a typical Christian bookstore. Then I happened to look at the very fine print to see who published the materials. “Watchtower Society.” Jehovah’s Witnesses?!?! Oh no! No, no, no, nononononononono!!

I had just given a JW my mailing address, and unwittingly invited an army of religious salesmen to my doorstep to give me no end of grief. God only knows what I’m gonna get in the mail now too. All because I had let down my guard just a little bit because of a sense of camaraderie I had with a sweet old lady. Why, why, WHY do I slip up like this? GAH!!

Sigh, I guess I’ll need to wire my doorbell with a few thousand volts of electricity today. Just in case.

Tags: bible, camaraderie, christian, conversation, cult, deaf, educational videos, hearing, hearing loss, jehovah witnesses, panera bread, Watchtower Society
Categories: Christians Gone Wild
 
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A recent morning conversation at work:

“Dude, what is up with our union contract?  Is it still in arbitration?”

“Yep.”

“Well I’m getting sick of this cloak and dagger crap and them telling us nothing about nothing.  I want to see what it looks like so far.”

“Why?”

“I wanna know what my rights are.”

“Oh that’s easy.  You don’t have any.”

Tags: arbitration, conversation, rights, union, union contract, work
Categories: In The Coal Mine
 
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A conversation I had on IM today:

Lincoln: so hey i see that bailout is working wonders

Casey: what did I tell you? It would make things worse

Casey: We’ve just socialized much of Wall Street, and a good portion of our financial system…a further economic collapse will have a liberal government taking over transaction and payment systems…something clearly foretold as an end-time event…you cannot buy or sell without the mark of the beast.

Lincoln: Thank you Mister Sunshine

Lincoln: Could we possibly hold off the end of the world until after I get a girlfriend?

Tags: bailout, beast, collapse, conversation, financial, girlfriend, government, IM, liberal, stocks, Wall Street
Categories: News Fit To Blog
 
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There are some days when God just seems to smile on me… almost as if He had forgotten that I was supposed to be a marked man and as a result let a blessing through by accident. 

This one came in the form of only having to pay $300 for auto body work which would have normally cost me as much as $1,900 had I gone with somebody else.  They even polished it too!

So I was outside cleaning up my sleek black ride afterwards, and putting a new hitch cover in when I heard, “Wow that’s a NICE ride!”

I looked up and it was an old dude.  “Yep, sure is.”

He then hooked me into a conversation, and after chatting a bit about my baby, he seemed surprised that I had gotten the car out of state.  That was the only way I could get it for under the invoice price though, which is virtually unheard of in this town.

“My daughter is looking to buy just this car too,” he said.

“Is she seeing anybody?”  I quickly asked.

“Uh, no…, um, she’s married and has two kids.”

“Oh.”

Awkward silence.

“Well it was nice talking to you.  Again, nice car!”  He quickly walked away.

Was it something I said? 

Tags: auto body work, car, conversation, God, ride, social skills, talk
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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While I was ferociously at work here at my desk (surfing a few dating sites), I happened to look up and saw the Commissioner walking by with the Chief of Police.

OH SH__

I quickly closed my browser window and started shuffling papers to look busy. The Chief of Police saw me, his eyes wide, probably because I was the last person on earth he wanted to see, especially with the Commish there standing next to him. They greeted my coworker, then the Chief quickly tried to usher the Commish out before I could get a chance to say hello.

Too late.

“Heeeeeey Commissioner, pleased to meet you!” We shook hands. He happened to notice my 8×10 frame of a big question mark that was sitting on my desk, and asked me what it was.

“Oh, that’s the girl of my dreams.”

And we all laughed.

“Hold on, I have a picture of my ex in my wallet.” I took it out and showed them:

And we all laughed.

“By the way, can I have a raise? I really need the money.”

And we all laughed.

Actually I didn’t think it was THAT funny, but oh well. The conversation ended just as quickly as it started, with the Chief letting out a huge sigh of relief as they left our section. Dweeb.

If you’re curious in learning why Chiefie Weenie doesn’t like me very much, there’s a whole back story on that you can read up on in case you have nothing else to do, which you probably don’t.

Tags: chief, commissioner, conversation, funny, job, joke
Categories: In The Coal Mine
 
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You ever know somebody you hope never ever manages to back you into a corner so they can talk and talk and talk talktalktalktalk till your ears scream out for mercy?

That was me yesterday. I’m here minding my own business and doing some data entry, when I get verbally jumped by one of my coworkers, who decided I really needed to hear what he had been doing for the past 9 days:

HeyLinc!SoIwasgoingtothestorebecausemy
computerwentdownandIhadtogetitfixedbutthe
technicianhadproblemsandhewasn’tabletofixitright
awayunlessheorderedapartsoItookittoanother
technicianbutthenIdecidedtocomehome
andtestitoutmyselfbypluggingitinandjigglingthe
cablesalittleandguesswhatitcamerightupbutthenmy
wifehadaproblemwitherprinterthatIhadtofixas
wellbutallIhadtodotherewasclickclickclick
clickclickandboomitwasdonejustintimefor
mydaughtertofinishherreportsoshecould
printitoutandtakeittoschoolandthenblahblahblah
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
blahblahblahblahblah
………………………

20 minutes later I faked having to go to the bathroom and hid out there for another 15 minutes until I was sure he was gone.

I now have a newfound appreciation for silence.

Tags: 15 minutes, conversation, coworkers, data entry, ears, garrulous, job, own business, silence, talk, talkative
Categories: In The Coal Mine
 
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