Other posts related to climate
Looking for my Funkytown
Lincoln Adams | November 17, 2008 @ 1:58 pmSo now that we’ve elected a mini-me version of the Antichrist, I think it’s high time I finally start working to move to a town that’s right for me. A town that’ll keep me movin’ and keep me groovin’ with some energy. 
Even though I talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it… I gotta move on. 
Seriously, I gotta move on.
Right now I’m going over which states might offer the best prospects, and I’m starting off with three basic requirements: the state should have no income tax, the gun laws should be flexible, and it should have lopsidedly voted against the communist demon of the underworld in the last election.
So far I have 5 options:
- Wyoming
- Alaska
- Tennessee
- Texas
- South Dakota
Climate and terrain wise I would prefer to live where there’s mountains and temperate seasons (the most important being autumn) AND little humidity. VERY little humidity. Seriously, there’s a reason why I refer to humidity as “Satan’s Breath.” Just… no.
That puts Tennessee at the top for now, especially the eastern part where the Appalachian/Smokey Mountain range begins. And since it’s the closest I’d be able to put together a road trip to visit the area and check it out. The only remaining question is being able to find a job. I have a background in computers and government and finished my undergraduate education a ways back, so I should be good for something besides shoveling horse manure, right? What do you think? Or should I try for another state?
As for the others, I like Wyoming because it has the Rockies, but again the problem is jobs, and it’s also out of driving reach. I’d have to either fly or do a cross country trip just to scout the state. Same deal with Alaska (as much as the thought of being near Sarah Palin thrills me), and the other 2 states, Texas and South Dakota.
If I remove the “no state income tax” requirement however, I have a few more options:
- Idaho
- Utah
- Oklahoma
- Nebraska
- Kansas
- Arkansas
- Louisiana
- Mississippi
- Alabama
- Kentucky
- West Virginia
I would drop all of the southern states because of the humidity and lack of mountains, but I hear the girls are so smokin’ hot in places like Alabama and Mississippi that I just have to keep these states on the list for now. 
Idaho and Utah might be good options, but I don’t particularly care for the high Mormon demographic. It’s not that I hate Mormons or anything, I just can’t stand them. Kansas and Nebraska have no mountains and seem boring overall, while Oklahoma might be too humid. West Virginia is on the list, but I drove through the entire state once and the scenery was just awful. Kentucky might be the best choice so far all things considered, but still, I have very little intel about any of these states frankly, which is why I’d like to visit them and see for myself.
In the meantime, what do you think is my best bet? Let me know in the comments. I’ll also include a poll too, because I’m awesome like that. 
Help me find my Funkytown!
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Tags: Alabama, Alaska, Appalachian, autumn, climate, cross country, election, funkytown, girls, humidity, Idaho, job, Kansas, Kentucky, live, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nebraska, Oklahoma, poll, road trip, sarah palin, smokey mountain, song, South Dakota, tennessee, terrain, Texas, town, Utah, West Virginia, Wyoming
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
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Loading ...Is it September yet?
Lincoln Adams | August 27, 2008 @ 7:46 pm*Yawn* 
I’m having a boring week here, which translates into having nothing to write about on my blog, which translates into my life sucks and I just wanna die, wah wah wah, I want my Mommy.
I am SO glad summer’s just about over though. Unlike normal people, I hate summer. LOATHE it in fact. It brings me nothing but sheer, excruciating heat, and sheer, excruciating humidity. I can’t wear my super cool looking clothes and jackets either, because nature precludes me from donning clothing meant for fall and winter climates when it’s 90 degrees out. All I can do is throw on a boring shirt and shorts and walk around looking like a dweeb, while my feet melt in stylish, yet toast oven hot sneakers because I absolutely refuse, REFUSE to wear flip-flops or sandals, all of which are utterly unworthy of being grouped in the same class as shoes. I don’t know why, I just hate those things. There’s just something about hearing the flap flap flappity flippity flop of a flip-flop that makes me burn with murderous rage.
Yes I know, I have issues. Bite me.
Fortunately though, as the heat starts to wane, I start to mellow out a bit. Once Labor Day comes around I start coming out of my summer fog like a bear out of hibernation, when it finally sinks in that the worst has past, and things will once again start looking up from here. The weather gets cooler, the air gets more crisp, the holidays get more frequent, and the leaves turn more brilliant as we get closer to autumn, by far my favorite season of all time.
But I think what really sells it for me is how quietly empty the streets become, signaling that ever celebrated event when snot-nosed vile little monkey turds that society calls children finally go back to school again.
Ahhhhh, September, how I missed thee.
Tags: autumn, bored, children, climate, clothes, flip flops, heat, humidity, summer, weather
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
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When Weather Affects The Mood
Lincoln Adams | September 23, 2007 @ 3:43 pmYou know what I really hate? Humidity. 
I enjoy humidity the way I enjoy performing a hernia operation on myself using a wooden spoon.
Yesterday we had it really bad though. But come on, it’s close to October now, this heat and humidity crap should behind us as we look forward to cooler (and drier) weather. But nooooooo, summer simply HAS to hold on a little bit longer and vomit its digusting, oppressive moisture on us all. Sheesh. I think the bottom of the ocean has been drier than this.
I like temperate weather. I like seasons (minus summer), and I like being able to wear the kind of fashionable clothes that you can’t wear in hotter climates (especially a nice black leather blazer to impress the ladies). I like leaves changing colors, snow covered streets, and an excuse to snuggle down by the fireplace with my lovely during those cold, dark evenings.
If I HAD a lovely that is. 
Great, now I’m depressed again. I think I’ll go to Blockbusters and rent a slasher flick. That always makes me feel better.
Tags: black leather, blazer, climate, climates, depression, excuse, fashion, fireplace, humidity, little bit, loneliness, mood, romance, sheesh, weather, wooden spoon
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
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