I finished cleaning up my blog and watching my shows, so I’m left here surfing the Internet to nowhere in particular. I can still feel that annoying lump in my throat (caused by my acid reflux) and an occasional heartburn, all of which has considerably darkened my mood. Yet as late as it is, I have no desire to go to bed, even though I really am tired, and the only time I get relief from my acid reflux issues is when I finally turn in. It’s also the time where I get a chance to fantasize about the girl of my dreams, conjuring up all kinds of scenarios on how we might first meet, fall in love, and develop that “perfect” relationship.

But for right now, I have only the glow of my monitor to keep me company. It’s times like this when the reality of my solitary existence really hits me, yet once upon a time I actually used to like being alone. I could do what I wanted to, when I wanted to, and I didn’t have to worry about accommodating or considering other people’s feelings. My life was my own.

But ever since my best friend and I have parted ways, I also have no one to talk to either. No one to my share life experiences with, watch a movie with, have dinner with, or just hang out with. Part of it has just been the circumstances of life, but part of it has been my own doing as well. Now that I’m in the process of picking up the pieces of my broken life and trying to put it back together again, I’m hoping this time around things will be different. But I also know it takes time to build relationships and friendships, and wisdom to know how to build them with the right kind of people. I don’t know if I even have what it takes anymore to get out there and connect with the world again. But I do know I can’t live the rest of my life as a virtual hermit either.

So what to do? Just take it one day at a time, I guess.

Tags: acid reflux, best friend, blog, circumstances, dating, day at a time, desire, feelings, friendships, heartburn, hermit, loneliness, lump in my throat, one day at a time, picking up the pieces, relationship, rest of my life, scenarios, social life, wisdom
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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No, it’s not love, it’s that damned acid reflux that’s been giving me “agita” for the past few months now.

I’ve never been what you would call a healthy eater. A delivery from Papa John’s or another local pizza joint is what I would consider a decent home cooked meal, and I usually got my meals on the run from places where I could get some serious grub in 30 seconds or less. For years I’ve lead a life where I made no time to do my own cooking, and while part of it was just the circumstances of life, most of it was my own doing.

Now those years are finally catching up to me, as I’ve begun to develop food allergies and other health problems as a result of my bad eating habits, which led to my current acid reflux condition. Now I have to finally face the music and hope these problems will only turn out to be temporary. I usually get heartburn a few times a day, and though it’s not severe, it’s annoying enough that it’s negatively impacted my life and affected my moods. One of the most frustrating things about this is not only having to develop a diet that would avoid all the foods that triggers heartburn, but going through the agonizingly growing pains of learning how to do my own cooking. It also has to be a diet that won’t leave me starving 15 minutes after I’ve eaten. The past couple of weeks has seen me fumbling and stumbling towards a new regimen that would finally control my heartburn issues. Sometimes I can’t resist (I just HAVE to had that can of Coke, or a bite of dark chocolate), but I’m beginning to realize I may have to do without tickling my tastes buds for quite a while.

What’s ironic about all this is that I used to have an interest in cooking, making my own breakfast and even preparing my meals in advance. One of the things I’ve wanted to do was make use of a cookbook so I could do my own meals without caving in and calling up Papa John for some of his deliciously greasy pizzas. The problem is, I wouldn’t even know where to begin to find a cookbook that would suit me. The problem isn’t that there aren’t a lot of options and possibilities, but that there’s too many.

Regardless, it’s clear my life in the fast food lane is coming to an end. I suspect God is using the problems I have now to force me into a more sensible lifestyle and help me finally shed the weight that’s literally been a burden to me since the 21st century began. I don’t resent it though, and in fact I’m willing to accept the consequences of my poor eating ways. But I do hope it’s not a condition that I will have to learn to live with. In a way I’m lucky, especially after having read the horror stories of people whose acid reflux problems were agonizingly painful, kept them up at night, and even had cases where they spit up blood. My problems aren’t nearly as severe, but if I don’t wise up now, they certainly could become that way.

For now, it’s time to fire up that George Foreman grill that’s been collecting dust for too long. Good times are here again.

Tags: 15 minutes, acid reflux, bad eating habits, buds, circumstances, coke, cookbook, dark chocolate, diet, food allergies, frustrating, growing pains, grub, health problems, heartburn, moods, music, papa john, pizza, pizzas, regimen, tastes
Categories: The Wealth of Health
 
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