Every now and then I’m reminded that I don’t have the suckiest life in existence, and there are worst things in this world than being a virginal weenie tot who can’t get a girl to pay attention to him for more than .25 seconds.

The latest reminder came when a friend of mine told me about an old buddy of his who was currently going through a rough…..

Many thanks in advance! Oh, make sure you exclude me, of course.

There are certain things in life that I simply cannot abide by, such as broccoli, rap music, humidity, and last but not least, obnoxiously rude Christians.

I was on the wrong end of this when I emailed no less than five girls on a social networking site who proudly proclaimed their Christianity… and got ignored by all five.

Now I’d…..

So it seems like B. Hussein Osama Obama has finally resigned from his cracknuts church. I didn’t even know you could resign from a church, but besides that, didn’t he say he couldn’t disown Wright or his church anymore than he could his own family? I guess I must have missed the last part, “…unless it interferes with my political ambitions.”

I don’t know what’s worse, him basically conceding…..

True story: Guy goes online looking for love, only problem is he’s a 46 year old pretending to be 18. He meets the love of his life, an impressionable 18 year old girl who eventually finds out the man of her dreams is a wee bit older than he let on. Depressed and distraught, she runs into the online arms of a 22 year old stud.…..

Jingle bells, Britney smells,
Jamie laid an egg….

Yep, in what seems to be the beginnings of a Spears tradition, the 16 year old sister of Britney Spears now has one baking in the oven, the result of being the live-in girlfriend of some 19 year old dweeb she met… at church.

What was that about saying I should be going to church if I want to meet a virtuous, pious…..

The other day I got into a discussion with a friend of mine about who the new object of my affection should be, now that Jessica Alba has broken my heart. Of course he suggested that I knock it off, go to church and find myself a nice, morally upright Christian girl to be with.

Interestingly enough, that same night I had a dream: I was…..

I recently got temporarily banned from a “conservative” forum after challenging one of the members for making disgusting comments regarding his lifestyle. He basically bragged about being a heavy drinker and for sleeping around with as many women as he could mathematically fit within a day.

Normally this would get a yawn from me. I am from New York after all. But here’s the thing: he…..