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In Poor Health, The End of the World is Coming, and I’m Still Single

I lead a charmed life.

So I’m just minding my own business and checking my email, when I get this alert from a Christian pastor I know.  He feels a great calamity is about to occur soon, causing massive fires in New York City that will spread out even to New Jersey and Connecticut, along with lootings and riotings in major cities worldwide.

If it had been anyone else I would have immediately dismissed him as a quack and merrily gone on my way.  But he had warned about the real estate crash and about the financial crisis we’re experiencing now since the early 90s and was right on both counts.  The fires he feels will happen soon is something he had been warning about for several years.  God’s judgment.

Whether you believe this or not, the email left me sinking into a pit of despair, even though it was meant to be sent as an encouragement to believers with the knowledge that God is still in control and will provide even in times of major distress.

But if there’s one thing that could define just why I feel so out of place in this world, that email sums it up.  It’s not something I can share around the water cooler at work with non-believers, lest they think I was dropping acid.  I try talk to other Christians about it but their heads are so far up the hairy flesh balls of Rick Warren that I might as well be speaking Klingon.

I could just say screw it, nothing’s gonna happen, we’re all right as rain here, but in my heart I know it isn’t true.  We’re in for some very hard times ahead, and there is virtually no one out there with whom I can confide in and share my feelings with about this without coming across as a cracknut to them.  And who knows, maybe nothing will happen, and in His mercy God will grant us a reprieve.  But can I not even have a conversation about this with others without getting strange looks or being laughed at?

People are often perplexed as to why I remain single, but this is a big reason why.  I see things that no one else does.  I believe things that no one else believes.  It isolates me from others, and I often have to keep people at arm’s length simply because once they knew the real me, they would either hate me dead or run away, or both.  And that’s fine.  I’m not looking to be the life of the party here.  A friend and a lover is all I’ve ever wanted.  While others need to be surrounded by people to the extent that they even use a ranking system for the best friends they have (BFF1 BFF2, etc. – WT*?!?), I would be more than happy having just one true friend.

We pride ourselves on our individuality, but the truth is most people are sheep, and would choose conformity over being unique so long as it meant not having to be alone.  That’s why most Christians today are merely nominal in their faith.  Their beliefs are so generic and ultimately meaningless that the only way I can get along with them is by completely leaving God out of the picture.  As long as we don’t talk about God or spiritual things, we’re a-ok.  God is somebody they treat as an equal, someone who is reduced to commercial slogans (Got Milk? becomes Got Jesus?) or a drug high, as if the experience of serving the Creator was tantamount to getting a heroin fix.   I’ve never understood this mentality, and yet every time I’ve challenged it, it’s resulted in near violence.  So I simply keep my beliefs to myself in order to maintain the peace.  People don’t want to hear it.

And now I have to deal with these new set of emotions brought on by this possible revelation of calamity that may soon come upon us, topped off with the fact that I’ve been feeling pretty lousy and fatigued for eons now, and facing a bleak future for which it would seem pointless to even hope of building a new life for myself, much less one that would include a special girl who can truly love me for who I am (who I REALLY am.)

I lead a charmed life.

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It’s not women I hate, it’s the human race (or maybe just Christians)

I always get cheesed whenever a woman blows me off or treats me with utter and pointless disrespect, but when I really stop to think about it, I realize I’ve been treated by dudes the same way too, so this is pretty much par for the course as far as my experience with the human race goes.  Not that I’m into dudes or anything, but it would be kinda nice to find someone I could be B.F.F.’s with again, since it could help take the edge off the fact that I’ll never find the girl of my dreams because women have all become evil spawns of the devil.  Well, at least the ones in New York have.

I remember back when I thought I’d be attending law school, I touched bases with this guy from California.  Had a wife, several kids and a job, but felt “led” to pull up roots and head over to the eastern coast to pursue a career as an attorney.  At the time I was reading and studying several primers on the law to help me get started, so we traded a lot of emails about the law and about preparing ourselves for the fall semester.  Things went south for me so I ended up not attending, but he went on and started his first semester.  We still exchanged emails, and we had planned to do a live chat to work on a “fact pattern” so he could better prepare for his next class, and I was happy to help out since I wanted to get the hang of doing these fact patterns myself when it came time for me to start school as well.

And then I never hear from him again.  I still sent him an email every now and then, just wanting to make sure he was ok and that he was doing well, but even though I got his read receipts, I never did get a response.  I even sent him a Christmas e-card, which he of course picked up but never bothered to say thank you for.  And that was pretty much the end of that.

You know, it wasn’t even the fact that I was blown off inexplicably that frosted my rear so much, but the fact that this guy was supposed to be a Christian, and technically that meant I’m supposed to be his brother in Christ, right?  So where was the camaraderie or respect, or even just the simple fricking courtesy to acknowledge the help I gave him and maybe say thank you for it?  Is this the kind of people I’m going to be meeting up with in heaven too?  Great, spending eternity with a bunch of snotheads who were too good to give me the time of day on Earth.  Yeah I can’t wait.

Maybe it’s because I don’t attend church, but I usually have a much deeper sense of appreciation for fellowship than my church going dweebs do.  A lot of them just seem to flip it off like its meaningless.  Really, I don’t get the coldness.  It’s not even that it’s cold hearted,  but like, no feeling at all.

I know these things happen, and that’s life.  I get that.  People are jerks, but every now and then this jerkiness really, REALLY grates on my nerves, especially when there’s no rhyme or reason to it.  Maybe that’s why I like to antagonize people so much.  At least then when they hate on me I totally know why, and I’m cool with it.  Heck at times I even revel in it.  :-D

But when I’m all sweetness and light and snuggly wuvables, yet still get treated like a compost heap in New Jersey, that’s when I get upset and start writing really bad things on bathroom walls.  There’s just no logic to such behavior, at least not one that’s apparent to me.  It’s the mystery, the not knowing why people go rogue like that that drives me nuts.  One minute everything is fine, the very next I don’t know which end is up, and the worse thing about it all is that I can’t learn from the experience.  I can’t figure out what it is I might have done wrong so that I could learn from it and move on from there if necessary.  But no, nothing.  Just the cold random encounters of life that brings me nothing but frustration and thoughts of mixed martial arts violence.

In a weird way, I guess that’s why I find comfort in being a badass who just loves to rub people the wrong way.  There’s something… safe about it, the security in knowing you’d never have to deal with the mystery of why people might hate you so much or disrespect you, unless they happen to see through the facade of course, in which case I’d be screwed totally. 

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Prayers Gone Unanswered: Why Movements Like “The Call” Fail

There have been various prayer movements in the United States focused on praying for change in our government, the most popular that I know of being TheCall.  I’m sure a lot of young Christians now are probably devastated by the election results, at a loss to explain why God would seemingly ignore their heartfelt prayers.

While some proponents might argue otherwise, the whole point of these movements have been largely to effect political reform.  They were overly focused on what was happening with our government, but not what was happening in the churches.  In short, we were praying for the wrong things.

Our churches are in complete disarray, deluged with religious fads and heretical teachings, with a community of believers that are more concerned about prosperity than they are about holiness.  Whatever the world does, we imitate it at every turn, whether it’s coming up with our own version of “American Idol” or turning our churches into entertainment centers complete with built-in basketball courts and coffee shops.  We’ve become so preoccupied with meaningless creature comforts, and through it all we’ve allowed an entire generation of Christians to be deceived by the rampant heresies that have overwhelmed the body of Christ.  And yet in spite of all this, we’re holding prayer vigils outside the U.S. Supreme Court building pleading for God to give us more conservative judges.  And how has that been working out so far?

Here’s the deal:  God is not concerned with our governments so much as He is concerned with His people.  And since judgment must first begin in the house of God, our focus should always be on taking care of the church first before anything else, ensuring that we walk soberly, with our minds on heaven rather than on political issues of the day.  All the nations are as a drop in the bucket to the LORD of creation anyway, and more notably, the lesson of history has shown us when a remnant of God’s people repent and seek Him with their whole hearts, things then have a way of working out for themselves without any active intervention on our part.

This will soon be an extraordinarily distressing time for Christians, yet I believe it is not intended for our destruction, but rather to encourage us to seek the LORD once again in a spirit of true repentance and broken heartedness.  Whom the LORD loves He rebukes and chastens, and He admonishes us all to “be zealous therefore, and repent.”

So for those of you have become disillusioned and even bitter about the direction our country has been heading in, don’t despair.  God has not abandoned us, and while we may experience grievous times, it is in those times that we will find true faith and revival.

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace.  In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. – John 16:33

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The Burden of America: Why Obama Represents God’s Judgment on the United States

Last weekend I was given Isaiah 19 to read, confirming who would win the election and why.  I wasn’t sure how to take it since I was still holding out hope, but now that the election has concluded, these verses are about to become more real than I could probably ever imagine.

I believe the Old Testament gives us a pattern of how God deals with nations and peoples, and these patterns still apply even today.  They are written for our benefit and instruction:

Romans 15:4 For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.

1 Corinthians 10:11 Now all these things happened unto them {the people of the Old Testament} for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come.

With that in mind, I believe Isaiah 19 gives us a strong indicator of what will happen in the next 4 years.  I’ll provide the verses, then follow them up with my comments.

The burden of Egypt.  Behold, the LORD rideth upon a swift cloud, and shall come into Egypt: and the idols of Egypt shall be moved at his presence, and the heart of Egypt shall melt in the midst of it.  And I will set the Egyptians against the Egyptians: and they shall fight every one against his brother, and every one against his neighbour; city against city, and kingdom against kingdom.

That sure sounds like a lot of race-based riots are about to happen soon, doesn’t it?  Our nation will dramatically fracture along political, ethnic and religious lines, and we will all be pitted against each other in a spirit of violence such as we have not seen for a long, long time.

And the spirit of Egypt shall fail in the midst thereof; and I will destroy the counsel thereof: and they shall seek to the idols, and to the charmers, and to them that have familiar spirits, and to the wizards.

Where conventional wisdom fails, people will run to unorthodox sources for answers (similar to The Secret hype we saw not too long ago.)

And the Egyptians will I give over into the hand of a cruel lord; and a fierce king shall rule over them, saith the Lord, the LORD of hosts.

America, meet Barack Hussein Obama.

And the waters shall fail from the sea, and the river shall be wasted and dried up.  And they shall turn the rivers far away; and the brooks of defence shall be emptied and dried up: the reeds and flags shall wither.  The paper reeds by the brooks, by the mouth of the brooks, and every thing sown by the brooks, shall wither, be driven away, and be no more.  The fishers also shall mourn, and all they that cast angle into the brooks shall lament, and they that spread nets upon the waters shall languish.

Our defenses will weaken and our food supply will suffer.  The cost of certain groceries will likely rise, and rise dramatically.

Moreover they that work in fine flax, and they that weave networks, shall be confounded.  And they shall be broken in the purposes thereof, all that make sluices and ponds for fish.

Linen manufacture was one of Egypt’s most lucrative trades, so this indicates to me a direct hit on our economy and our ability to trade.

Surely the princes of Zoan are fools, the counsel of the wise counsellors of Pharaoh is become brutish: how say ye unto Pharaoh, I am the son of the wise, the son of ancient kings?  Where are they? where are thy wise men? and let them tell thee now, and let them know what the LORD of hosts hath purposed upon Egypt.  The princes of Zoan are become fools, the princes of Noph are deceived; they have also seduced Egypt, even they that are the stay of the tribes thereof.

Matthew Henry writes of this:  “Their politics shall be all blasted,  and turned into foolishness.  When God will destroy the nation he will destroy the counsel thereof,  by taking away wisdom from the statesmen,  or setting them one against another (as Hushai and Ahithophel),  or by his providence breaking their measures even when they seemed well laid; so that the princes of Zoan are fools: they make fools of one another,  every one betrays his own folly,  and divine Providence makes fools of them all.  Pharaoh had his wise counselors.  Egypt was famous for such.  But their counsel has all become brutish;  they have lost all their forecast; one would think they had become idiots,  and were bereaved of common sense.”

That actually sounds like Washington on any given day, but probably more so in the days to come.

The LORD hath mingled a perverse spirit in the midst thereof: and they have caused Egypt to err in every work thereof, as a drunken man staggereth in his vomit.  Neither shall there be any work for Egypt, which the head or tail, branch or rush, may do.

Our unemployment rate is going to skyrocket.  It’s possible we may see the same kind of double digit rates that were only previously seen during the Great Depression.

In that day shall Egypt be like unto women: and it shall be afraid and fear because of the shaking of the hand of the LORD of hosts, which he shaketh over it.  And the land of Judah shall be a terror unto Egypt, every one that maketh mention thereof shall be afraid in himself, because of the counsel of the LORD of hosts, which he hath determined against it.

Judah at the time was being overrun by the powerful army of Sennacherib, and was considered an ally of Egypt.  The fear expressed here is that Sennacherib would attack them as well.  Applying it to today, a foreign war involving one of our allies may take place (if not already) and the enemy fighting this ally will be seen as a serious threat to us as well, causing much fear and distress.

And now for the good news!  :-D

In that day shall five cities in the land of Egypt speak the language of Canaan, and swear to the LORD of hosts; one shall be called, The city of destruction.  In that day shall there be an altar to the LORD in the midst of the land of Egypt, and a pillar at the border thereof to the LORD.  And it shall be for a sign and for a witness unto the LORD of hosts in the land of Egypt: for they shall cry unto the LORD because of the oppressors, and he shall send them a saviour, and a great one, and he shall deliver them.

Sarah Palin 2012!

Ok, ok, on a more serious note, I think it’s clear the calamity Egypt went through resulted in a REAL revival (not like the fake ones we’ve seen for the past 10 years or so.)  A small group of cities turned and sought the LORD in a spirit of repentance and broken heartedness, pleading for His intervention.  This remnant of righteousness will spark a turnaround for an entire nation, and God will answer by sending them a deliverer.

Sarah Palin 2012!!!!!!!!   Hey, you never know…

And the LORD shall be known to Egypt, and the Egyptians shall know the LORD in that day, and shall do sacrifice and oblation; yea, they shall vow a vow unto the LORD, and perform it.  And the LORD shall smite Egypt: he shall smite and heal it: and they shall return even to the LORD, and he shall be intreated of them, and shall heal them.  In that day shall there be a highway out of Egypt to Assyria, and the Assyrian shall come into Egypt, and the Egyptian into Assyria, and the Egyptians shall serve with the Assyrians.  In that day shall Israel be the third with Egypt and with Assyria, even a blessing in the midst of the land: Whom the LORD of hosts shall bless, saying, Blessed be Egypt my people, and Assyria the work of my hands, and Israel mine inheritance.

After smiting Egypt the LORD then heals it, and goes so far as to restore what had once been bitter relations between with them and the nation of Assyria, a possible sign that any revival we witness will be confirmed by a healing of relations with a powerful ally of ours.

None of this is set in stone of course, but the pattern is clear:  a nation becomes divisive and violent, falls under the rule of a cruel and fierce king, and all manner of economic calamity shortly follows thereafter, with our government in disarray and our country gripped with fear over the possibility of attacks from foreign entities.  The awful calamities and destructions we experience will however result in a bonafide revival, a revival that will sweep a large segment of our population and cause the LORD to show mercy and restore the nation, one more time.

I have to admit I find this hard to believe.  America has become so ridiculously blind and so breathtakingly evil that I don’t see how we could ever have a revival again, and indeed we may not.  But… if we did, if the church especially sought out the LORD with sackcloth and ashes, and we truly repented of our sins and began to obey His true Word, not being tossed about by the heresies that have so easily been allowed to flourish in the churches before, God may yet spare us, as well as restore the nation we live in.

Whether this revival actually comes or not, I don’t know.  So many people seem to believe Barack Obama was raised up by God to lead the United States, and for once I happen to agree, only not for the reasons they might think.  I believe strongly that he was raised up to be our oppressor, not our deliverer, and the reality of that fact will soon manifest itself shortly after his term begins, as we are thrust into one of the darkest times our nation has ever experienced in its 200+ year history.

Regardless, while “Egypt” may be judged, those who have remained faithful and loyal to the God of creation will find themselves in their own private Goshen.  I believe the Lord will supernaturally care for us even while a nation of people around us becomes severely judged for its sins.  In spite of my own failings and sins, one thing I am still confident of even now, and it is that God will always keep His promises.  He will care for me just as He will care for His people, because He has promised to do so.  And it is that promise I am holding on to, now more than ever.

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A Halloween Scrooge

Being a Christian, I’m not one to celebrate Halloween, though I don’t begrudge people who do.  I understand not everyone is going to be enlightened as me.  :-D

Still, it does get rather depressing that I always seem to take the minority view no matter what the subject is, or in this case, a minority view within a minority community of Christians.  Whatever I believe, it seems I’m the only one who believes it.  Sigh.

So while everyone goes twik or tweetin’ or attending costume parties and bobbing for apples and generally having fun, I can only but watch it all through my window with a clear conscience, and cry, knowing the unpopular aspects of my faith will always keep me isolated and alone.

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