Children | The Habitation of Justice

Is it September yet?

Lincoln Adams | August 27, 2008 @ 7:46 pm

*Yawn* :yawn:

I’m having a boring week here, which translates into having nothing to write about on my blog, which translates into my life sucks and I just wanna die, wah wah wah, I want my Mommy.

I am SO glad summer’s just about over though. Unlike normal people, I hate summer. LOATHE it in fact. It brings me nothing but sheer, excruciating heat, and sheer, excruciating humidity. I can’t wear my super cool looking clothes and jackets either, because nature precludes me from donning clothing meant for fall and winter climates when it’s 90 degrees out. All I can do is throw on a boring shirt and shorts and walk around looking like a dweeb, while my feet melt in stylish, yet toast oven hot sneakers because I absolutely refuse, REFUSE to wear flip-flops or sandals, all of which are utterly unworthy of being grouped in the same class as shoes. I don’t know why, I just hate those things. There’s just something about hearing the flap flap flappity flippity flop of a flip-flop that makes me burn with murderous rage.

Yes I know, I have issues. Bite me.

Fortunately though, as the heat starts to wane, I start to mellow out a bit. Once Labor Day comes around I start coming out of my summer fog like a bear out of hibernation, when it finally sinks in that the worst has past, and things will once again start looking up from here. The weather gets cooler, the air gets more crisp, the holidays get more frequent, and the leaves turn more brilliant as we get closer to autumn, by far my favorite season of all time.

But I think what really sells it for me is how quietly empty the streets become, signaling that ever celebrated event when snot-nosed vile little monkey turds that society calls children finally go back to school again.

Ahhhhh, September, how I missed thee. :ggrin:

Tags: autumn, bored, children, climate, clothes, flip flops, heat, humidity, summer, weather
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log

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Oprah’s Guests Makes Me Want To Break Stuff And Kill People

Lincoln Adams | July 18, 2008 @ 6:25 pm

I have no idea when this crap aired, but evidently there was a show highlighting the dating woes of 30-something women, which somehow devolved into how Islam is great and we should all go ass up 5 times a day and change our names to Ahmed Akalahu Mukababah Habib Al Mulla Wulla (or some such 50 syllable name that’s guaranteed not to fit on a standard criminal rap sheet form.)

Before it did though, I managed to glean some interesting quotes:

Like many single women in America, Julie is no stranger to the dating scene — but finding dates isn’t always the problem. “It’s not that there are no men to date. It’s that I’m not meeting anyone that I’m attracted to. Nobody that I think is quality and worthy of me and what I have to offer and what I want to do.”

Evidently chiseled, flawless men programmed to hand over their balls and debit cards seem to be in low supply these days. Remember what I said about women looking for sperm donation rather than men? Well now:

Now Julie thinks marriage may not even be what she wants. Instead of waiting around for a husband, she’s considering having a child on her own. “I’m probably going to investigate an anonymous donor and do it artificially … I want it to be my own biological child,” she says.

Funny how that works. For these type of women, marriage is merely a means to an end, and once their REAL objective has been realized, the husband is promptly forgotten and expected to fade into obscurity. The very notion that he might still expect a little bit of companionship and affection after children enter the picture seems to completely baffle them. “I gave you children, isn’t that enough?!? Go away you pathetic sissy!”

Yeah, just can’t imagine why they’d have trouble finding a guy who’d go for a deal like this.

Then there’s the divorced Mommies:

Amy also realizes that a woman with kids isn’t what every guy is
looking for. “I don’t consider children baggage. I think they’re the
bonus piece to the set, but there are a lot of men who don’t see it
that way,” she says.

Mainly because some of us would prefer not to be the new Daddy to your little bastard children. Not that I have anything against the turdlings, it’s just that I grew up in an environment where everyone around me had “step” in front of their names, and the experience hasn’t exactly warmed me to the idea of taking on someone else’s kids. But that’s just me.

I have to tell you though, reading crap like this isn’t exactly filling me with hope here. I know I’m not much of a catch, but I’d need to have the engine of the space shuttle installed up my junky jongs just to reach the friggingly ridiculous high bar these whiny donkey hos set for us men. But that’s ok, in the spirit of equitable exchange they will be perfectly willing to give us… well… nothing.

And they say romance is dead. :eyeroll: