Other posts related to cars
Merry Christmas, Here’s Your Ticket
Lincoln Adams | December 20, 2009 @ 6:12 pmRecently New York had just been ranked for being the unhappiest state in the country. My experience today could certainly tell you why.
Since I live in an apartment complex that assigns one parking space per apartment, it’s only natural that we would have an overflow of cars, most of which have no choice but to park on the side streets. When I first moved here they originally gave me trouble over that, until I went down to town hall and explained my situation. Since they knew who I was (it helps to have a long, sordid history of troublemaking with the government) they ripped up the ticket for me and sent me on my way. 
Today though was a slightly different story. I’m out shoveling three cars, the sidewalk and God only knows what else for half the residents here, when I see a code enforcement car slowly moving down the street. He was actually getting out and writing tickets for each car that was parked on the street, all of which belonged to the neighbors. What the…
My car was the last in line since it was parked near the curb, so I had time to go up to the old looking douchebag and start a friendly conversation. Since we lived near a train station, the side streets here could not be used for more than 2 hours parking normally, but they tend to make unofficial exceptions for awesome people like me who have to live in this dumpy neighborhood.
“Hey there, are you writing tickets? Because all these cars belong to residents here.”
“You can’t park here. We have a snow emergency and all cars must be off the street to allow plowing.”
“Really, I wasn’t informed of this.”
“All residents were notified. Please move your car or you will be ticketed.”
“Well that’s obviously not true, since I wasn’t notified. Didn’t get a phone call, mail or anything. Not even a Twitter.”
“I’m sorry I can’t help you. You will have to park your vehicle elsewhere.”
“Dude, there IS no other place to park. Where are people supposed to park their cars now, up their asses?”
“Please do not cause trouble sir, or your car will be towed and the authorities will be contacted.”
“I AM the authorities, numbnut.” I showed him my ID.
He paused at this.
“…there must be some other place for you to park?”
Oh, so NOW we’re gonna be nice about this? 
We exchanged a few more words, until finally I opted to move my car and park it, (illegally if you can believe it) in front of a dumpster next to my apartment. The code enforcement dweeb continued to ticket cars, although by this time more people had come out to see what the commotion was about. Before I knew it lots of angry people with heavy shovels had now surrounded the code enforcement guy Heh.
So apparently, the schmuckheads running town hall had issued a snow emergency requiring all vehicles that were along emergency routes to be off the streets, except that evidently, none of us got this notice. Everyone else I spoke to didn’t get a single notice, so to me it would have made much more sense to leave a warning notice on each car, instead of handing out $50 parking tickets like a transit cop drunk on power. But that would have made too much sense. And besides, what liberal scumbag wouldn’t resist a mad grab for more revenues in the midst of a snow storm?
I can’t get out of this state fast enough.
Tags: apartment, cars, code, code enforcement, government, neighbor, neighborhood, neighbors, parked, parking, parking ticket, side streets, snow emergency, snow storm, storm, street, town hall
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
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Problems with your love life? Fuhgetaboutit!
Lincoln Adams | November 23, 2009 @ 11:04 pmAfter a round of shooting at the range and seeing Karen, I got thoroughly depressed and decided to take a walk down Little Italy to take my mind off things. Nothing can lift my spirits faster than a chocolate covered cannoli and a slice of Mulberry Street pizza can after all.
I wanted to stash my car somewhere between Little Italy and the Seaport, so I picked a cheap garage just outside of Chinatown and rolled it right in. It was valet parking, so I had to get out and let some weird Hindu looking guy park it for me. I wasn’t sure if I was going to buy a few things or not to take back with me, so I wanted to know if I could get to my car to leave a few things if needed.
“So listen, I might come back here to drop off a few things, but I won’t be leaving just yet. Would I be able to do that?”
“I park car!”
“Yes, well, I just need to know if I’d be able to get to my ride to drop off some stuff I might buy later on.”
“I park car!”
… … …
“Ok, well, thanks for your time.” I made sure my glove compartment was locked up tight. “See you later!”
I have an odd craving to play Tic Tac Toe for some reason.
I walked a block or two and suddenly found myself in a familiar place:
Somewhere in the distance I can hear the DING DING of Law and Order.
How is it that I always wind up here one way or another? Ah well, at least this time I don’t need a lawyer for once.
Yooooooooo hoooooooooo, I hope you're getting my best side this time, darlings! *kissy kissy*
I continued uptown a few blocks until I reached Little Italy. (One thing I’ve always hated about it was just how much Chinatown overshadowed everything. Chinatown is virtually a city unto itself, while Little Italy was basically just a small, weenie street in comparison.) I stopped by the Ferrara Bakery, saw a mini wedding cake I wanted to sample too, until I saw the price tag: $15. 
Um yeah, no thanks. I waved to the wise guys sitting in the back and walked back out again. I found another bakery further and got a few chocolate covered cannolis, then made my way back down again for a slice of pizza, and finally started feeling better about things. Finally walked back down to the seaport and hung out there for the rest of the afternoon.
For some reason I always feel at home downtown. Midtown always seems claustrophobic to me, but downtown I feel like I can spread my wings a little and relax more. Maybe it’s the sight of the Brooklyn Bridge and the river that does it. Even City Hall Park has its quiet charm too:
I like lamps.
Sigh, I guess I’m just kind of hoping one day I’ll find a girl who will appreciate these little things as well.
The sun had set and the day was losing its light as I walked back to the garage to pick up my ride and head home. The city had already begun to twinkle its lights, casting its reflection on the water and lighting the way for me, while subtle shades of green and red danced here and there.
The holiday season had finally arrived.
Tags: cannolis, cars, chinatown, city, holiday season, justice, little italy, park, parking, pizza, seaport, street
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
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Copper Thieves
Lincoln Adams | July 3, 2007 @ 9:41 pm“Gotta go report another break-in at the impound,” John my co-worker said.
“Being that we currently got an 80 year old security guy guarding the place, I’m not too surprised. What’d they take now?”
“Copper.”
I looked up. “What?”
“They boosted copper from some of the cables that used to power the old buildings we don’t use anymore.”
“Who the hell steals copper?? We have like $50,000 cars just sitting there waiting to be driven out, and they go for copper?”
“Hey, it sells. And they took their sweet time too. We found where they broke in, along with a cooler and some empty beer cans they left behind. I think they’re gonna be coming back tonight.”
“So are you gonna go stake ‘em out?”
“Nope, denied overtime.”
“Frickin’ A’.”
“They’ll send a patrol to drive by every now and then.”
I leaned back in my seat. “You know, I never would have figured to boost copper in an impound lot. I’d go in there and go, “Oooooo, motorbikes!” then drive out with one of those babies. Who would think to steal copper?”
“Hey, three dollars a pound baby.”
“Besides you, smart ass.”
John just shrugged.
Tags: babies, bandits, burglary, cables, cars, co worker, copper, hell, impound yard, job, left behind, old buildings, overtime, patrol, stake, stakeout, theft, thieves, three dollars
Categories: In The Coal Mine
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The car salesman must have seen her coming…
Lincoln Adams | May 10, 2007 @ 5:42 pmOverheard at work today:
“Ohh, Linkie! Remember when you were telling me there were two prices for a car, the manufacturer’s price, and what was the other one, I couldn’t remember?”
“Uhh, the invoice?”
“Yeah yeah, that’s it! I need to get a new car and I just fell in love with this Nissan Murano I saw at the dealership. It’s fully loaded for $38,000, but I wasn’t sure if that’s how much I had to pay, or if I could get it for less.”
“Wow, that’s some serious coinage.”
“Oh yeah, but I got enough in my bank now to buy it!!”
“Must be nice to have an ex-husband,” I muttered.
“What?”
“Nothing, ” I quickly said.
Tags: cars, coinage, coworkers, divorce, invoice, job, love, new car, nissan, nissan murano, women
Categories: In The Coal Mine
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